First Public Display

Public display is not something every woman wants to do to her chastity boy. However, I thought it worth writing about because many couples do it at some time in their relationship.

The first time I was to be “Displayed” to another woman was announced a full month before it was to happen. I am quite sure that was done to help Mistress build up my anticipation before the event. I was told that on a certain date (a month away) I would be performing in front of one of Mistress' best friends, we will call her “Miss Barb”. I was aware that Miss Barb knew of our relationship, but I had never been required to do ANYTHING of a sexual nature in front of another person.

First Prostate Milking

Wow! Do I ever remember that!? I think your first prostate milking is something you will always remember. But first, I want talk about the benefits of prostate milking.

Abstinence is NOT the cause of any type of cancer, as far as the medical community can prove. That is to say, no one has ever proven that there is a link between abstinence, and prostate cancer. Having said that, there are studies who reportedly have made that connection. However, their research has always been rather flawed or non-repeatable. That simply means that, even though some studies claim to have made that connection, none of them have been able to reproduce their results (which invalidates the first tudy), or they are simply slanting the results to make it seem that there is a connection between abstinence and prostate cancer.

First Outdoor Experience

I don't know how you feel about being exposed to someone other than your Mistress, but I find very erotic. Just the thought that someone might see me doing something in public (or semi-public) is quite thrilling to many men and women alike. It's like that feeling you had a kid the first time and some of your friends decided to see what other boys and girls look like naked. It can be embarrassing, but it can also be quite stimulating just thinking that someone might be watching.

The first time I was exposed was several years ago while driving to Birmingham, Alabama. Mistress told me to pull over and drive up this dirt road she saw. I turned that car around and drove back to the little road Mistress had seen. I had no idea what Mistress had in mind for me at that time. I just wondered where she taking me.

First Reward

I remember quite clearly the first time Mistress Ivey rewarded me for something. I had been working very hard all day chopping wood for our fireplace. I chopped a half-cord. It had taken me the entire afternoon git that much, but I didn't want to quit until we had enough to fill the two quarter-cord racks we had bought the week before. I also new that I would eventually be required to fill the racks but I wanted to get it done before she asked. Mistress Ivey had gone a shopping trip with a few of her friends. I just took advantage of her absence to get the job done.

As a result of my efforts my body was very sore the next day. Being as that day was Sunday and we nothing else to do, Mistress said she wanted to reward me with a nice body massage. Of course that sounded pretty good to me. We owned a cheap massage table we had picked up at a yard sale. So, Mistress decided to use it.

I laid down on my stomach to start out. Of course, there were lots of sore muscles on my backside, and Mistress wanted to tend to those first. She did a great job of rubbing coconut scented massage oil into my skin. She took her time, too! She spent nearly half and hour on my back and legs. Then I was told to roll over...

This is where things really changed. Mistress bound my ankles and my wrists to he table. It surprised me because I wasn't expecting to be bound. That's when Mistress carefully removed my chastity cage. Yes, she took it clear off! It felt good for my cock to be out in the open air.

To make a long story short, Mistress massaged my legs, arms and chest before she ever touched my penis. Believe me, my mind and my body were confused. The massage relaxed me but my cock remained hard during the entire time. But,of course, she made a point of NOT touching my cock or balls..

I had been on the table for about an hour before Mistress told me that she was going to give me a reward. It had been about three months since my last ejaculation, and I was ready for whatever she had in mind. She spent a full hour toying with my body. Getting me ready to squirt, then stopping before I did. It was truly fantastic!

By the time she allowed me to ejaculate, I was literally begging her to let me do it. It was probably the best, most powerful ejaculations I had ever had. So take it from me, lengthy teasing can really pay off when it comes time to ejaculate.

nemo

First Punishment

Sorry for the late post. There has been a lot going on here, lately.

I remember distinctly my first punishment from Mistress Ivey. I admit, I earned it. In fact, I did it deliberately, as I suppose many of you have, just to see what she would do. So what did I do? Let's just say I didn't do what I was supposed to do.

FIrst T&D

Believe it or not, neither of us (Ivey or myself) had ever done anything even resembling tease and denial. Every session we had up to this point had ended in at least one of us having an orgasm. And, no, it was not always me.

We had just finished signing our new FLR contract (agreement) when Ivey told me to go to the bedroom, strip naked and wait for her on the bed. Being a man, and always horny, I had no problem doing as she had ordered.

It didn't ever matter to me how tired I was, when the offer was made, I would be sure and muster whatever energy was necessary to hand the situation. (I am talking about sex, of course.) I did as I was told. After all, I did want to make things easy for her and I wanted to show her what a good little sex-slave I could be.

Setting Up an FLR

I remember the day, well it was actually an evening after the kids went to bed, that Ivey came to me said she wanted to talk about changing our relationship. I was confused. What was there to change? We had a contract. I was in charge. I saw no need to change anything. But... I was not going to shut her down without hearing what she had to say.

Ivey began by showing me some of the websites that other Mistresses were running at the time. She complained that was NOT the way it should be. I agreed, but I still didn't understand what that had to do with our relationship. She carefully explained that she wanted to reverse the roles in our relationship. That kind of shocked me even though I had already taught her how to be a good Dominant in a BDSM relationship.

The First Time

For the next few months, I am going to post a series of articles entitled “How It Feels.” This series is going to look at Female Led Relationships and Male Chastity from a man's point of view when his significant other is the one who wants to change things. Basically, it will be a look at how he feels, and what thoughts might go through his head when his partner decides to “give it a go.” Basically, it will be a look back on how things went for me. What I felt, and what other guys sometimes feel when things change. When the relationship evolves from the “normal” to a Female Led Relationship. And, of course, chastity.

Mistress Ivey always covered life from the woman's perspective. I plan to show this kind of relationship from a guy's point of view. The only difference is that “he” will not have to figure out how to approach “her” to get things started. I realize that that is one of the hardest things a guy has to do when he wants an FLR, but his wife has never considered it. I will cover that aspect later. There is an old post on my blog that is a letter from a guy to his woman telling her the benefits of an FLR. Actually, there is a link to it at the top of the page. It's called “To My Wife” and it pretty much covers that side of things.

My goal, with this series, is to show women (and men) how it feels from the male side of things. I think, once a woman knows how men feel about most things, she will realize that there is no reason for her to fear this kind of relationship, nor will she worry about the things Ivey proposed she do having a negative effect. They won't! Men, whether they know it or not, WANT this kind of relationship. I can say that with certainty because, I admit, I never thought I would enjoy being someone's “slave” or whatever you want to call it. But I found it much more exciting and rewarding, than anything I had experienced before. And I had been married twice before!

Hold onto your hats, folks! The truth is out there, and I am going to bring it straight to you...

nemo

The Answer...

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It's Sad...

To see what happens to a cock that no longer has anyone to control it, to tease it, to keep it locked up in chastity until it is time for it be released. Well, at least, that's how I feel. Since I have had no one to control me or my poor cock for the last five months, it seems a shame. I mean, here I am, probably the best example of how to be a submissive, male locked in chastity, and totally controlled by a woman, and I have no one...

Raise your hand if you agree with that statement. I happen to be the embodiment of that statement. Alone, after seventeen wonderful years with a loving partner who knew what it meant to control a man and his organ. 

How to Get Teased Without a Mistress

Guys... One of the hardest questions to find an answer to on the Internet is, “How can I get my wife to tease and deny me?” Good luck! Well, I have at least one answer for you...

If you have approached your wife or girlfriend about using tease and denial to make your life more miserable (meaning fun) and she is just not interested, here is some advice on how to proceed and get yourself teased in the process.

First of all, you need to decide what kind of teasing you want. Do you want her to go out of her way to physically tease you on a daily basis? Would you rather she was a bit aloof and acted like she was totally uninterested in your sexual gratification? Or would you simply want her to deny you an orgasm once in awhile?

First of all, if you expect her to go out of her way to physically tease you on a daily basis, you may be out of luck. You will first have to show her how much fun it can be. But I warn you, it won't be easy. You will have to beg and plead and try to get her to read all those stories that turn you on so much. Or... You could simply keep reading them and STOP masturbating to them. Sort of a do-it-yourself tease and denial.

Male Chastity Pt-12

Sample Games & Teases

Here are some sample teases to get you started. I can't do everything for you, but with just a little imagination, you should be able to keep your Chastity Boy on the edge most of the time.

Verbal Teases:

These may be done over the phone, through a text message, or even email. They could be whispered in his ear when you are out to dinner, or at a movie. The point is to get him turned on and thinking about you, and what he could be doing instead of whatever he is doing.

• I would love to lick your cock from your balls all the way to the tip very slowly.
• I am laying on the bed masturbating right now. Don't you wish you were here?
• I would love to suck your big, hard, cock right now. I can't wait until you get home...
• I would love to feel your hands squeezing my breasts as you fuck me from behind.
• Remember that story you read about the two woman and one guy?

Male Chastity Pt-11

Keeping it Fun!

As I said in my last post, male chastity should be FUN! Not just for you, but for your chaste male as well. While this may seem like a daunting task, it is really simple. The Internet is full of ideas for you. There are websites dedicated to chastity games. All you have to do, is play them.

Let's be honest here, if something you want to do, have to do, or hate to do, is suddenly turned into something fun, you will look forward to it. You will no longer dread having to do it. Right!? Well, keeping your chaste male, AND yourself, happy, you need to keep things fun.

Male Chastity Pt-10

The Perfect Male Chastity Relationship

Besides the fact that nothing is perfect, (well, except the Fibonacci curve, of course) every relationship will face it's own set of problems. But, for the purpose of this writing, we are going to assume every couple is capable of making their relationship perfect.

For any relationship to be deemed perfect, each half must compliment the other. So, as a reasonable couple engaged in a male chastity form of existence there must be two sides that work in harmony with each other. They compliment each other, so to speak. If your relationship is going to last, there must be a balance between the participants.

What we are talking about is the need for each of you, male in chastity, and female in charge, to be a willing participant in this relationship. As the female, and the one in charge, the most important thing you have to do is enjoy yourself. I know how that sounds. Of course you enjoy yourself, you're in charge!

Making it Tighter!

No, that's NOT me!

Your chastity cage, I mean. I know how it is, many of us (me included) feel that we don't have “enough” when it comes to filling a woman during intercourse. You know what I mean. Either our equipment is lacking in the size department, or we don't “put out” enough semen. If you are like I used to be, fairly small with a load to match, then you understand where I am coming from.

Yes, I admit, I was always a little self-conscious when it came to letting a woman, or other men, for that matter, see my equipment. For years I tried all the tricks to making it larger. You know, stroking it, pulling it, stretching it, and definitely trying every product on the market that touted that it would make me bigger. Naturally, none of them worked... Until now!

Male Chastity Pt-9

What Can You Expect to Get Out of it?

Of course, the obvious answer to that question is: it depends on what you are willing to put into it. You might think that that is a joke... But it isn't! As the Keyholder, you have the toughest job, until you get used to it. Once you have a number of things that you enjoy doing to your chaste man, a good set of weekly teases and, maybe a game or two that he likes to play, you can run on autopilot. Now that you have everything you need at your fingertips, and you are comfortable enough to use them, your job becomes a lot easier.

Male Chastity Pt. 8

How Should a Keyholder Approach it?

This is one place where the Internet seems to get it wrong. They seem to think that you, as the Keyholder should make all the rules, and be as mean and evil as you can possibly be. Go ahead and try that approach. I'll wait...

I didn't think it would take long for you realize that that is the WRONG approach. I will admit, there are a few men out there who would relish that type of a Keyholder. If that is what he really wants, then by all means, give it to him.

I will admit, many times the “Dream” of a guy who wants to try chastity, is quite often of a Keyholder ( a woman) that is mean and cruel and won't give him and inch, much less an orgasm... EVER! But faced with reality, most men will back off from that kind of relationship. It just won't work for them. I agree. It won't work for most men. And I don't think most wives or girlfriends, for that matter, could be that mean and cruel.

Male Chastity Pt-7

How Does All This Benefit Me?

I know I have been talking about the benefits for the chastised male, but this is supposed to be a partnership. After all, isn't that what marriage is all about? Being partners?

There are many benefits to being a Keyholder in a male chastity relationship. First of all, your partner is the one with the lousy hand in all of this. Oh? You don't think so? Yes, it's true that you will do most of the work when it comes to teasing him and keeping him as horny (aroused) as possible for as much of his time as possible. And, yes, there is a great deal of planning that goes with all that teasing.

However, as long as you are doing your part, you will have the perfect husband. Your husband (or chaste partner), will do just about anything to get what he wants. “And what is that?” you may ask. A chance to ejaculate (have an orgasm), of course. The longer he goes without ejaculating, the more desperate he will become. A desperate man will do just about anything to get what he wants. And you literally hold the key to that.

Male Chastity Pt-6

How to Tease Him

One of the most often asked questions. Ivey got it a lot and I have gotten it a few times. I will give you a few examples and you can use your imagination from there. The first thing is, you must understand exactly what teasing is all about.

The art of teasing a man sexually has been practiced since the dawn of man ( and women). Women have used it to get more meat from her cave man, the chance to kill an enemy, and yes, even the opportunity to get a new car. Anytime a woman uses her sex appeal in order to influence a man in any way, she is, technically, teasing him. She offers certain sexual favors if he will only do such and such for her. Don't tell me you haven't ever done that. I know better.

Male Chastity Pt-5

How to Control Your Chaste Man

If you thought getting him locked up in a chastity device was all you needed to do, you are sadly mistaken.

Many of the websites I have been to seem to think that once you have him locked up all safe and secure, you are done. WRONG! If you happen to be one of those who is actually mean and cruel, you can now move on to something else in your life. Let him suffer like the wimpy little rat he is. But... If you are a real, caring human being, you will want to keep your end of the bargain. What bargain? You ask. Surely you didn't get him so drunk that he passed out making it easy for you to lock his little dickie up. If not, that means you made some kind of agreement about teasing him at some point.

Male Chastity Pt-4

More of What Men Really Want

I am sorry for not including everything men want in my last post. but let's face it, men are greedy when it comes to sex! So there are a lot of things men want. Not to mention that each man is different and you should do your best to figure out what some of those things are. Also, his desires will, more than likely, change over time. What he finds humiliating today, may not be enough for him tomorrow.

I will probably receive a lot of grief for this one, but one of the things men really want from male chastity is humiliation. Come on now... The fact that he wanted to have his jewels locked up so that only one person would have control of when and how he ejaculates is pretty humiliating. So, don't even try to deny it guys.

Male Chastity Pt-3

What does he REALLY want?

Okay, we have established there are things your chastity boy wants, and why he can't tell you what they are, there are some things common to every guy wearing a chastity cage. First of all, he wants more sex! It may be because he feels you are not doing enough for him. Or he may think that he will get teased constantly. Either way, he wants more!

What your chastity boy wants is more sex, more teasing, more denial, and longer periods of being locked up. I know that sounds stupid, but we are men, and... Well, sometimes we just don't make sense.

When your guy asked, begged maybe, you to lock his cock in chastity, he wanted several things. 1) more frequent sexual contact, 2) less frequent orgasms, 3) to have one thing in his life out of his control. While it's true that many men (usually wealthier than me) would use a professional Domme. Even though she would not ever have sex with him, she took control of a small portion of his life. For a few minutes, he was allowed to let go, to NOT be charge of things. That may be all he is looking for.

Male Chastity Pt-2

Why men can't tell you what they really want...

Have you ever wanted something, like a bouquet of flowers, a present, or even a surprise night out? How do you go about telling someone that you want them to surprise you and, yet, it still be a surprise? Think about it for a moment. If you tell your hubby that you want him to surprise you with a bouquet of flowers and the very next night, low and behold, he brings home a beautiful bouquet. Be honest. Was it really the surprise you hoped it would be? Or was it more a let-down because you just told him what you wanted. The surprise was gone, wasn't it? And the fun right along with it.

Realistic Male Chastity

I have recently read a great deal about male chastity on other blogs. I wanted to see what was being touted as “The” way to do it. Mistress Ivey started this blog because she was tired of the way sexual “Mistresses” were portrayed on the Internet. She believed that there were many more women (perhaps couples) who would open up their fantasies and desires, if they were exposed to another way of doing things. It was she who brought the Female Lead Relationship out in to the open and made it acceptable to the average woman.

Now, I am looking at male chastity and finding very little honest and unbiased accounts of what it truly is and can be. Just because a man has the desire to serve a woman, and to allow her to take control of his life, including his orgasms, does NOT mean that he wants permanent chastity, or a wife who will treat him like dirt and never think about his pleasure. On the contrary.

Coming Soon!

Coming Soon!

I am planning a series covering the fallacies you find on the Internet concerning Male Chastity that will set the record straight. The truth about what makes a couple successful, and what makes relationships fail. Don't miss it!

nemo 

Masturbation

If you don't know how to masturbate raise your hands... Both of them.

Somehow I knew there would be no hands up. But that's NOT what this post is about. This post is about using masturbation as a form of tease and denial (T&D).

For a man, only another person (a woman?) can please him sexually more than he can please himself. Not so with a woman. We are lucking in that. Usually, a woman can please herself more than anyone else. So I think it is safe to say, if there is not a woman involved in your sex-life, then you are doing something wrong!

Tease & Denial Should Be FUN!

Obviously, tease and denial (T&D) is fun for the recipient. No matter how many times you do it, he (or she, for that matter) will always want more. But if it is not fun for the teaser, or if it becomes monotonous, the teaser (you) will eventually stop doing it. You may even resent doing it.

I have always said, “Imagination is the key to sexual pleasure.” If you don't have the imagination you need to keep things fresh for the both of you, you will begin to look at it as a chore instead of an enjoyable activity.

Sexual Control

It's all about sexual control. Control a man's sexual outlets and you control the man. If you control when, where, and how he gets to ejaculate, he will be putty in your hands. Punish him when he displeases you, and he will worship at your feet.

Now, of course, the word “punish” can be interpreted in many ways. Whether you choose to use corporal punishment, or withholding sexual pleasure, makes little (or no) difference. The important thing is that you maintain control.

Final Step

Sex should be fun! And now it is YOUR turn.

Your partner should be anxious to repeat the previous session. After all, it was all about HIS pleasure. And he DID enjoy it! If he has not, yet, agreed to allow you total control over your sex-lives, then hold out. Simply tell him that until he agrees to your request to be in charge, he is going to get nothing. As a reminder, ask him if he enjoyed what you did to him the last time. Does he want to experience that kind of thing again? If so, he needs to agree to put you in charge.

I doubt he will fight you on this, but if he does, hold out for awhile. If more than a couple of weeks goes by without any sexual encounters, you can simply repeat the last one with one minor change... Bind his hands. This is important. You can bind them to the headboard, to each other, or run a rope under that mattress and bind one hand to each end. Now, when you repeat the last session with his arms immobilized, he will not be able to finish himself off. Thus, he, and his ejaculation, are at your mercy.