Thursday, July 26, 2012

How to Control Your Man

I have done my research over the years and have been trying to find a way to sum it all up in a simple form. Well, here it is. If you want to control your husband, lover, male counterpart, submissive, or whatever, here is a guide that should be of some help. It is by no means a complete, in-depth discourse, but should be enough to get you started.

Also, if you, yourself, feel a bit timid, or guilty about doing or saying some of the things your partner wants (or needs) to hear, then you have to remember, you are doing it because you love him and he does it because he loves you. Don't push him harder than he can stand, but always push to find his limits. Once you find them, respect them, but keep on pushing them.

The following is a list of things that you should be doing. Not everything will apply in every case, and there may be things not on the list that work for you. Don't hesitate to leave a comment for all to read, or write me if what you have to say is more personal.

  1. You must absolutely take total control of his orgasms!
    1. You must get him to wear a chastity device of some kind.
    2. You should put it on him yourself and only you should hold the key.
    3. Let him out at your discretion only and only for teasing or release.

  1. Control your own feelings of guilt.
    1. He should never be permitted to have any kind of orgasm without your permission.
    2. If you feel he deserves an orgasm... Ruin it!
    3. Remember, you can ruin several orgasms a day, but he can only have one full one.
    4. Full orgasms should be for very special occasions (no more than 3 or 4 per year).

  1. You must get into his head!
    1. Learn his fantasies and what turns him on.
    2. Tease him with your words whenever possible.
    3. Find out what humiliates him.
    4. Use his humiliation whenever possible.

  1. You must keep him sexually aroused as much as possible.
    1. Talk sexy to him.
    2. Tell him you are going to make him do something humiliating.
    3. Fondle him, or let him fondle you.
    4. Send him text messages with orders to do something sexual.
    5. Make him give you orgasms frequently.

  1. Make him do something humiliating (see list below).
    1. Make him wear a butt-plug for a time.
    2. Make him be naked when you are not.
    3. Make him masturbate for you.
    4. Always, ALWAYS make him eat his own cum no matter where it is deposited.

  1. Punish him whenever he displeases you.
    1. Don't let him get away with anything!
    2. Spank, paddle, or whip him.
    3. Humiliate him in some way.
    4. Put Bengay or Icy-Hot on his cock, balls, or anus.
    5. Make him do anything he hates.

  1. No matter what you are doing, or where you are, find ways to tease him.
    1. Fondle him through his pants in public (or in private).
    2. Whisper sexy or humiliating things in his ear.
    3. Make him shop for lingerie with you.

Men are all different. Thus, different things turn them on and different things humiliate them. Here is a list of things that humiliate many men. This list is by no means complete, nor will every man be turned on by everything on the list. It is up to you to discover what works and what doesn't. Sometimes, only the threat of these things is enough to turn him on. Humiliation can be used as a punishment as well. Find out which ones and you can control his behavior through the threat of it.


  1. Name calling (stupid, worthless, etc.)
  2. Belittling him or his “equipment” (tiny dick, little willy, etc.)
  3. Forced cross-dressing
  4. Wearing women's clothing (maids outfit?) anywhere
  5. Shopping for lingerie (for you or for him)
  6. Wearing a butt-plug in public
  7. Masturbating in a public restroom
  8. Wearing women's panties or pantyhose under street clothes
  9. Masturbating for you or a group
  10. Eating his own (or other men's) cum
  11. Shave his genitals yourself, then make him keep them clean shaven
  12. Sexually servicing several women
  13. Telling others about your lifestyle
  14. Prostate or other type of milking
  15. Being naked around the house
  16. Anal penetration (dildo, strap-on, etc.)
  17. Sex with an inflatable doll
  18. Suck a realistic dildo
  19. Being naked outdoors
  20. Being photographed (or video recorded)
  21. Post photos or videos to the web
  22. Forced bi-sexuality (make him suck another's cock)
  23. Being cuckolded
  24. Drinking your urine
  25. Doing just about anything sexual to himself while you or others watch

The thing to remember is that you don't have to make him actually do these things. Just implying that you “might” may be enough of a turn on. It's up to you to discover what works with your man and what doesn't.

Mistress Ivey

Monday, July 16, 2012

What are You Denying?

I get quite a few complaints from men whose wives have locked them up in a chastity device (and some who haven't) concerning orgasm control. These men want to know exactly what constitutes “Orgasm Denial” and what is just plain sexual denial.

Ladies, ladies, ladies! If you are not teasing your partner at least once a day (hopefully a great deal more) then you will never achieve what you are looking for. Your man will eventually stop doing as he is told and will become disillusioned at the least, possibly even bitter about it.

Sexual denial is never going to improve your marriage, or your husband's behavior. If your goal is to mold him into the man you want him to be, then you have to tease him and tease him and tease him some more. That's all there is to it.

In my experience, you should be teasing your guy for at least 30 minutes a day. It doesn't matter whether you give him that all at once or break it down into several shorter teases, but you must tease him every day. You need to use him to please you, if nothing else. That alone will give him what he needs even if you do nothing else.

Personally, I recommend teasing him for five minutes or so several times a day. You must talk to him, erotically, that is. Get his cock hard. If he is in a chastity device and can't get hard, at least make his cock strain against its confines. If you can do this several times each day, then you are no longer just denying him sex.

Once or twice a week you should spend at least an hour getting him sexually aroused. Talk to him, stroke his body. Tease his nipples, balls and anus. Use some kind of instrument, a toothpick, a feather, a fine brush, to tease his body until he is fully aroused (mentally if not physically).

At least once a month, remove his chastity device (bind his hands so that he can't touch himself) and tease his cock until he is begging for that orgasm you have denied him. You can either let him have it, ruin it, or just plain deny it for another day, week, month, or whatever length of time you like. Make it fun for you. If you enjoy doing it, then you will be more likely to continue doing it instead of ignoring the fact that your partner needs sexual attention.

If you are one of those who doesn't want to use a chastity device, be prepared for him to masturbate. It's will happen. In spite of what he tells you. But if you can make it more interesting for him, say with a little humiliation? Then you may not need that chastity device. Try making him masturbate while you watch. Do it several times a week and you may get his unauthorized masturbation under control.

In short, make sure that you are denying him orgasms and not just denying sex. Sorry to have to tell you this, ladies, but if you simply deny him sex, he will get it elsewhere, even if it's only his own hand.

Mistress Ivey