Wednesday, May 24, 2017
By-the-way, I prefer to be associated with last weeks photo (see the post for May 17, 2017). I am NOT a fish!
Let me say this first, because of the way our FLR began, I am no good at telling you how to approach your wife about setting one up. Sorry, but I wouldn't know the first thing about getting a woman to take charge of my sex-life, much less anything else in our relationship. So, don't ask.
I can tell you this, however, if you want to set up an FLR, it is best to sit down and talk about your relationship openly and honestly. Maybe, if you find out what your spouse likes (or doesn't like) about your current arrangement, it will be easier to figure out how an FLR can help. Just my opinion, and you know what they are like.
If you want more sexual teasing and less actual intercourse, perhaps you can start with that. Explain how much more exciting it can be for you when you simply don't know if you are going to get to ejaculate or not. Leave it up to her to decide when, how and if you will get to do that. Let her know that want to please her more than you have in the past and that you are no longer concerned about your own pleasure. Let her know that you derive pleasure from giving her pleasure. And NOT just in bed, but anytime. That means you may have to start buying flowers or small gifts on your way home from work, or that you can send her little "love texts" during the day when you know she is having a rough time.
In other words, let her know that you are thinking of her. She should be your number one concern all the time! Not just at bedtime! Once you learn to put her first, in all things, the rest will come naturally. Let her know that it is okay for her to have eight or ten orgasms when you don't have any. Then show her that you mean it. Life will get better and better as time goes by and you keep proving it to her.
P.S. Stop looking at so much porn!
Wednesday, May 17, 2017
I have received many questions over the years that are best answered by my husband. He has been by my side through the good times and the bad and can answer some of these questions better than I, because of his perspective. So, I am turning today's blog over to my husband...
They call me nemo. Yes, like the famous Capt. Nemo of Jules Verne fame. When Ivey and I first set up our female led relationship, I chose that name because in ancient Latin it means “no one.” I thought, since I had nothing to say about how our relationship would work, beyond our initial agreement, it was a fitting name.
The question most men seem to ask is, “How did you approach your wife about setting up an FLR?” The answer to that question is simple. If you have read anything about her past, then you know that I started out as her Master. When she first asked me if I would teach her to be a dominant, I did just that. For me, the easiest way to teach her was to take the role of a submissive. Then, when she screwed up, (which she often did, at first) I would simply remind her of what I would have done had our roles been reversed.
After a few months of being her submissive, I suggested that she was ready to take on a real sub of her own. Together, we searched for a suitable replacement for me (as her submissive). We found one, and I stepped out of that role to help guide her when she needed it.
Later, when I realized how difficult it was for her to play the “switch” I asked her if she wanted to settle down with just me as her submissive and stop spending so much money for motels and travel to various BDSM events that we so often did, and just stay at home. She accepted my proposal and it has been that way ever since.
Even though I am not in charge anymore, there have always been things that she would rather do for herself, so I was not one of those guys who was placed in total submission and required to do everything for her. We share many responsibilities. I believe that is the reason for our success at home.
I get a lot of questions about chastity. Well, I own (or rather she owns) many different types of chastity devices. We did a great deal of experimentation in the beginning. Our favorites include the Holy Trainer for its comfort and the CB3000 because she also purchased the Points of Intrigue to go with it. (That is not my favorite part.) We also own a few different metal devices from various manufacturers.
How did we first get started with male chastity? Personally, I wanted to try it out. Curiosity was my motivating factor, I suppose. How did I approach my wife with the subject? Simple. One day, while bound to our bed and she was teasing my genitals, I said, “I would like to try wearing a chastity device. I think it would be fun.” And that was all I needed to say. If you ask me, during sexual activity is the best time to bring up anything you want that is different from what you have done. I suppose the same would be true for asking your wife about setting up a female led relationship.
These days, I don't even wear a chastity device even though I am only allowed to ejaculate once every two to three months. I use only my own self control between times. Mistress Ivey hates having to remove the device every time she wants to fondle or physically tease my genitals. Of course, it takes a lot of trust and self control to maintain this type of chastity. It may not work for everyone, but it works for us. Besides, with no device in the way, I get a lot more sexual attention!
If you have other questions for me, simply make a comment to this post and I will try to answer them all, as best I can. Thank you for your time.
Husband & slave to
Wednesday, May 10, 2017
There are numerous reason why a man might be interested, or even fascinated, by male chastity. If your partner has hinted around about it, come right out and asked for it, or mentioned it in a fantasy, it might be something you want to look into.
There are many different reasons why a man might want to have his penis locked up in a chastity device. Maybe he feels that he masturbates too often. Maybe he enjoys the thought that only one woman holds the key to his sexual pleasure. Maybe he is aware that men enjoy being turned on, frustrated even, and that male chastity is one way to experience a great deal more sexual desire.
Whatever the reason, even though it seems like more “work” for you, you might want to give it some serious thought. After all, most of the actual benefits derived from male chastity, benefit the Keyholder... YOU! You will be in control of when and how the two of you have sex. Ask yourself this one question, “Does he want sex (or sexual activity) more than you do?” If you answer, “Yes,” then you might be consider using a chastity device to lock up his penis so that you can use it whenever YOU want, instead of whenever HE wants.
There are many websites now that cover many different aspects of male chastity. I will spend the next few posts on the subject to help those who are interested in it, to learn just how beneficial it can be. As for how much “work” it will be for you, that is up to you. I will show you ways to make it easier on you. There are many ways to give him some kind of sexual excitement that will not require a great deal of time or effort on your part.
There are personal and relational benefits as well. He may be more attentive, romantic, helpful, and even happy, once you have him locked up. You may enjoy more of the kind of sexual activities that you desire as well. Maybe he has been lacking in attending to your needs. Are you getting the number of orgasms you would like? Is he spending enough time providing the oral sex you would like? What about simple back and/or body massages? Are you getting everything you you really want, or could your sex life be better? Think about it.
Wednesday, May 3, 2017
I often get asked why a woman would even want to put her man in chastity. My simple answer to that question is, “It makes your life easier.” How? Well, for one, he is constantly reminded that you are in charge of his sexual organs and activity. He is also kept in a higher state of arousal, constantly. Every time he has a sexual thought, his penis (or his chastity device) will remind him that he cannot do anything about it.
The mere fact that a man cannot have sex, masturbate, or even get a hard-on, will make him want sex more. He will want it constantly. That is, he will constantly be reminded that he can’t have it without you. But there are ways to give him what he wants without “giving him what he wants.”
When a man is sexually excited, he is happy. He may feel frustrated if he cannot do anything about it, but men enjoy being sexually frustrated, as odd as that sounds. So here are a few ideas you can use to sexually tease your man with minimal involvement yourself.
· Have him write you one of his favorite sexual fantasies. This will take some time and should keep him aroused for at least as long as it takes him to write it. Tell him to include lots of details. Tell him you will grade it and that how long he has left before his next release, may depend on how well his does.
· Get naked and lay on the bed. Have him get naked as well and give you a full body massage. It will turn him on, relax you, and, assuming you don’t allow him a release, it will elevate his sexual arousal for some time to come.
· Release him from chastity and have him stroke his penis for you. Don’t allow him to ejaculate, but make him stop whenever he gets close. You continue for as long as you like. Then replace his chastity device and send him on his way.
· Have him sit in a chair naked, or simply stand in front of you. Call one of your friends (or pretend to) and talk. Tell her about his chastity and how he is standing (or sitting) in front of you. Describe his genitals to her. Talk about some of the more embarrassing or humiliating things you have had him do for you. The more detail you give her, the more embarrassed and aroused he will be.
There are literally thousands of things you can have him do. Sex is not just about intercourse, or even ejaculation for him. Sex is all in the mind. Give him some really great sex without even touching his body. You will see just how easy it is to keep his mind where you want it, without much effort.