Wednesday, January 18, 2017

When NOT to Tease

For obvious reasons, I have spoken a great deal about teasing and denying your partner as a means of keeping him happy and wanting to please you. But I have said little about when NOT to tease your partner. It is, obviously, your best means of exerting your control over him. After all, chastity or not, he really can't tease himself. Not effectively, anyway.

Let's assume (there's that word again) that you tease your partner at every opportunity. That is, you take a moment, here and there, to fondle his manhood, either through his pants, or by reaching into them, as often as you can. You should do it at least several times a day. While you are fondling him, you should be whispering something in his ear that you know will turn him on, such as, “How would like it if I were to give you a full orgasm in a restaurant?” or some other, equally stimulating erotic fantasy?

In addition to the above mentioned little teases, you should spend at least twenty minutes a day doing everything you can to edge him. He should become accustomed to all this teasing in his everyday life so that you can easily control him when he displeases you.

And just how are you supposed to do that? Simply by NOT teasing him in one form or the other. If he suddenly doesn't get his twenty minutes, or his little teases, or both, he should be able to figure out that you are either no longer interested, or that he has displeased you in some way.

See? No other form of punishment may be necessary, for those of you who don't enjoy giving him a good spanking or paddling, now and then. When he isn't doing his best, life gets easier for you. See? No bondage, no BDSM, and no fuss!

Mistress Ivey

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

Control

I get complaints from guys all the time because they don't think their “Mistress” is doing something right. What that “something” is varies from person to person, but the complaint is basically the same. So here is my response...

Just because your Mistress, Goddess, Princess, or wife, doesn't do everything exactly as YOU think she should, does NOT make her wrong. For example, I received one letter from a man who loved everything his wife/Mistress was doing, the daily teasing, the long term denial, the punishments she gave him, were all perfect except for one minor thing: She would not tell him when his next full orgasm might be. He said it didn't matter to him if she changed the date, pushed it back because of something he did, or if unforeseen circumstances made it necessary to change the date. He just wanted to something to “look forward to” according to him.

Well, my response to him was the same as it would be to most anyone who has a complaint about his Mistress' way of doing things. You are NOT in control. She is! Therefore, she can do whatever she deems necessary or appropriate to keep you in line. To Keep things running smoothly the way SHE wants them to run. So if it is her desire to give you a “possible” date for your next ejaculation, great. Also great if she doesn't choose to do so.

Many of you have your own ideas about how things should be done. If you happen to be the one in charge, then things should get done YOUR way. If you are are the one is being controlled, turn over control totally. Let her do things HER way. It doesn't hurt to ask for something special, or that she do something a different way, but if she refuses, then drop it. Trust that she is doing things the way she wants to do them. Don't try to change things to suit your idea of submission. Instead, submit to her ideas of how things should be done. After all, that is what you asked for, isn't it?

Mistress Ivey

Wednesday, January 4, 2017

Femdom, Mistress, or Wife?

As a “Mistress” I have dealt with many woman from all walks of life. There have been professional business women, young and old house wives, and even the occasional single woman who just wants to learn how to stop her boyfriend from masturbating all the time. The one thing about being “in charge” is that you can still be yourself.

All too often I am asked what a woman needs to do to be a Mistress, a Femdom, or to maintain control over her loved one. The answer is not nearly as complicated as you might think. Be yourself, but be in charge.

I have always said that you don't have to wear sexy black leather corsets, or carry a riding crop around wherever you go. You don't have to wear knee-high leather boots or yell commands at every turn. You need to create YOUR style of control.

It doesn't matter whether you enjoy sounding like an evil witch, or a sweet princess. What is important is that you let it be known that you will not tolerate disobedience. In other words, you must take control and maintain discipline, but you don't have to dress or act in any certain way. Just be yourself.

If you don't like the idea of using a paddle on your partner's bottom every time he fails to please you, then don't. Maybe you would be more comfortable making him stand in a corner, or closet where you don't have to look at him and where he will not be able to see you.

Do only what you are comfortable doing. If BDSM and bondage are not your thing, fine. You don't have to change yourself for him. In fact, it is he who you should expect to change for you. You are the one in control, but that doesn't have to mean that you are going to beat him silly if he displeases you. Maybe a day without any sexual attention from you will be enough to make your point. Maybe it will take a week of not touching him. But whatever it takes, it is up to you to be in charge.

Maybe you have one of those guys who likes to top from bottom. He has his own ideas about how you should dress and what you should do when he misbehaves. But just because he begged you to take control of his orgasms, his sexual release, and his everyday life, doesn't mean you have to do it HIS way.

Be yourself. Do what is comfortable for you. If you have to sit him down and explain that if he wants you in control, then it is up to him to show you how badly he wants it. It is up to him to obey you like he said he would. Remember, YOU have the power to control him. Simply withholding any kind of sexual attention for a week or so will convince him that you are serious.

Remember, any sexual attention he gets comes from you and you alone. He wants to please you (or he should). Taking away his ability to do that can be a powerful incentive to obey you. Remember, you are in charge! NOT him! So find what works for you and make him conform to your desires and you will be an excellent Mistress.

Mistress Ivey

Sunday, January 1, 2017

Games You Play

First of all, I want to wish you all a very happy new year! You, my readers, are very important to me. You have stuck with me through good times and bad. You have contributed more than you know to many of my books. I just want to say, "Thank you!"

I know that many of you, both males and females, enjoy playing games. Sexually oriented games, that is. I have put a few examples in my books, but you, my readers, often have ideas that I have not thought of. So...

Email me your favorite game(s). Send them to: cbt.mstrss@gmail.com

I am looking for everything from making him drop his pants on demand to how you would play a game of strip-checkers, or even how you determine how many strokes he gets when you want him to masturbate for you (or you for her).

Do you go to sleep while holding his cock and expect him to fall asleep too? Without cumming? Do you make him wear your panties to bed, or to work? Does he have to roll boxcars (or snake-eyes) in order earn an orgasm? Whatever little games you play, let me hear about them.

Does your Lady make you take icy cold showers when you get an unauthorized erection? Do you have to do give her a certain number of orgasms before you are allowed to have one? Then write me and tell me all about it.

Yes, I want to hear from both men and women, dominant or submissive. I want to know what kinds of little games you find erotic. Are you a submissive female? Tell me what your Master does to make things fun. Are you dominant to your guy? Tell me what you make him do to earn an orgasm.

I want to hear all about those little sex games you and your partner play. Thanks!

Mistress Ivey