During the average week I get literally hundreds of emails from all over the world. I do my best to keep up with it all, and answer every one I get. However, in the interest of possibly reducing some of that email, I would like to address my number one complaint.
More than anything else, I get emails from men complaining that, even though their wives (lovers, girlfriends, partners, or what have you) don't tease them enough, or don't pay them enough attention. By this, they most often mean that they are not getting as many orgasms as they would like. Here is my advice to all those men and women in this situation.
First of all, ask yourself, “Who is in charge?” If the answer is, “She is,” then take it up with her. I cannot make your partner do anything she doesn't want to do, nor can I motivate her to do more. There are three possible reasons that she is not doing what you want her to do. The first, and most important, is that you wanted her to be in charge, and now that she is, you are not happy with the way she does things. So the first reason is simply that she is not you and has the right to do things the way she wants to do them.
The second reason she is not living up to your expectations might be that your expectations are too high. That is, your fantasies about how things will be, are not realistic. She has things to do besides teasing your little dickie all day.
The third and final reason might be that she simply doesn't know what you want. That is, you expect her to read your mind. What have you done to help her understand what you need and want? Hounding her about it will NOT work. She will only give up, thinking there is no way she can ever truly please you.
The answer to all these situations is the same. SHE is in charge. You wanted it that way. You told her that you would do anything to please her. Perhaps, you are not holding up your end of the bargain. The more you do for her, the more free time she will have. The more free time she has, the more of it she can spend with you.
Not getting enough orgasms? Really? Who determines when and how you get to cum? Her! If she doesn't want to allow you to have an orgasm, then live it. After all, this is what you wanted.
STOP pushing her for more. Stop hounding her about sex. Stop complaining! Tell her how much you appreciate what she does do. Praise her for the great job she has done, so far. Telling her what you want, telling her how to do things, and telling her she isn't doing enough, are NOT good ways to get what you want. Stop trying to top from the bottom. You gave her the reins, let her use them however she wants.
Gentlemen, in order to get more, you first must appreciate what you have.