Tuesday, March 27, 2012

Teaching Through Teasing

Over the last year and half I have described many games you can play to make your tease and denial relationship even better. Well, I have another game you can play, especially if you are feeling particularly wicked! The object of this game is to teach your guy to NEVER ask for an orgasm.

Before you begin this game you should have a goal in mind for your denied partner. A chastity device of some kind would be a big help in this game. Let's say, for argument sake, the longest your guy has gone without an orgasm is one month. Don't tell your partner anything about this game you are going to play. That's a secret. Your goal should be to make him wait longer for that orgasm than he has ever waited before and to learn not to ask for an orgasm, no matter what his options are.

Once you have a goal in mind, you are ready to begin. Go ahead and tease his cock using whatever method you like. Shortly before he is ready to cum, ask your partner to choose between two or three options. One option should be to give you pleasure (in his favorite way), or have an orgasm. Now that would seem like a rhetorical question, but he may surprise you. If he says he wants the orgasm, you decide if he deserves it or not. If you are trying to teach him not to ask for an orgasm, he has failed.

If he has not reached the goal you set for him, then then he gets no orgasm and will have to please you in your favorite way. If he chooses the 'please you' option, then don't let him cum before you stop and give him his reward for making a good choice.

If he chooses the orgasm and he has reached his goal, give him a ruined orgasm and tell him that you want him to wait a little longer. Then he can please you in whatever way you want. Another option is to punish him for asking for the orgasm and deny it anyway.

The point of this game is to teach him not to ask for any orgasms. After all, he should know that his purpose is to please you, not himself. Of course, there are many ways of teaching him this lesson without telling him what's going on. For example, if you think he deserves an orgasm, but has not learned his lesson, make him masturbate for you and ruin his own orgasm.

If you think about it, I am sure you can come up with many diabolical ways to deny him the full orgasm he really wants. Just remember the rules of the game. They are simple; Don't tell him what you are doing; Don't allow him a full orgasm until he has learned NOT to ask for them, even when given the option.

You can always make the options more difficult. Try offering him a paddling, or no teasing for a week, or even wearing women's under garments to work for a week. Anything other than an orgasm as the second option. Once he has learned his lesson (never to ask for an orgasm) you could offer him anything and he will not take the orgasm option.

It should also be obvious that you can teach your partner anything you want him to learn through denial. Just make sure he never gets that orgasm until he learns his lesson.

Mistress Ivey

Thursday, March 8, 2012

In The Beginning

I get so many letters from women asking me how to get started when their husband (or lover) has asked for some teasing and denial. Many men have fantasies about this, and many are simply afraid to bring up the subject. However, once a man has asked his wife (or GF) to take charge of this, it can be difficult for a woman with little or no experience. So here is what I did when it happened to me.

The first thing I did was to create a plan. I wanted to do it right, and I figured that in order to do it right I needed a plan. Please bare in mind that this plan will not be right for everyone. But, hopefully, it will give you a place to start.

The plan has three basic parts and required me to do some research before actually implementing it. But before I began I had to decide if I wanted to use a chastity device or not. So I did some research involving chastity devices and how effective they were. I talked with nemo about it to get his feelings on the subject. Once I decided that I wanted to use a device, I had to choose one. I eventually selected a CB-3000 (the old version) because it was fairly inexpensive and it give us both a feeling of where we wanted to go from there.

Once the chastity device arrived in the mail, I put my plan into motion.

Part One: Denial
I informed nemo that I was going to take complete charge of him and his ejaculations. He had just stepped out of the shower when I made my announcement. That means, I caught him while he was still naked and would feel the power I was wielding even more. After installing the CB-3k,  I told him that from that moment on he would only be allowed to cum when I gave my permission. I had decided to start with a week and then take it day by day after that. I had no idea how long he would actually be denied this first time, but I did plan on making sure he knew who was in charge.

While I had him standing naked in front of me, I laid out my rules for him. I gave him a list of chores that I expected him to do each week and some that needed to be done daily. I warned him that if he failed to complete any of his chores, he would be punished in some way. I told him the punishments would increase in severity the more often he failed.

I told him that if he was good, he would be rewarded with the opportunity to pleasure me and to receive some teasing for himself. Sometimes I would even remove his chastity device before or during these tease sessions.

Part Two: The Teasing
My research had given me many ideas for teasing a man. So I decided that I would need to tease him briefly several times a day. He had a job at the time, so I would call him at various times while he was at work and turn him on. I needed to know what turned him on the most in order to guarantee my success. That meant I needed to know what his deepest, darkest sexual fantasies were.

In order to find out what he fantasized about,I decided that I would make him tell his fantasies when I had him on the edge of cumming. So each time I removed his CB-3k, in order to tease his cock directly, I would get him on the edge of cumming and then stop. I would tell him that if he wanted more he would have to tell me one of his favorite sexual fantasies. Then while he talked, I would tease his cock, never allowing him to cum. Eventually, I knew enough of his fantasies to get him hard on the phone rather easily.

I also used my knowledge to turn him on when we were together as well. I would reach into his pants when he least expected it and whisper a part of one his fantasies in his ear. I would have him hard in no time, then I would just walk away, leaving him wanting more. If I did this often enough, I thought, he would not be able to think about much else other than me and how I might allow him to cum during our next session.

I also researched several ways of teasing him while his CB-3k was off without allowing him to cum. I also learned about ruined orgasms, but that's a subject for another post except to say that if I thought he was getting too close to cumming, I could always stop. Even if I stopped too late, his orgasm would be ruined and not give him the relief he longed for.

Part Three: Punishment

While you might think that denying nemo an orgasm for an extended period of time would be punishment enough, but it's not. Remember, your partner actually enjoys being denied (that's what he asked you for), so what kind of punishment is that? So I had to find some ways to punish him that would seem much more like a punishment than simply denying him an orgasm. Adding days to his denial wouldn't work, either. As I no idea exactly how long I intended to make him wait, it was impossible to add days to an unknown number of days.

Since I intended to remove his CB-3k three or four times a week, it became obvious that I could skip one of those sessions as long as he knew why he was not getting it. I could also not tease him during the day for one or two days. But what could I do when he continued to fail or didn't seem remorseful? I had to come up with something more... Impressive.

After the first couple of weeks I decided to add “points of intrigue” (little spikes that came with the device) to his CB-3k. These would cause him pain whenever his cock tried to get hard while in the CB. If he was good, I would remove them. But if he wasn't, I could leave them in and tease him as often as I liked. In addition to that, I came up with a few more immediate punishments if I needed them. Without going into detail, I'll just tell you that several forms of corporal punishment were used quite effectively.

In summation, I know that this was a pretty vague plan, but it is so easily modified for any situation, I think it works very well. If you have a good imagination, or you can do your own research, then you should be able to make this basic plan work for you.

Good luck and happy teasing!

Mistress Ivey