Denial and Prostate Cancer

There seems to be a lot of confusion over whether or not abstinence (orgasm denial) causes prostate cancer in men. The reason for this confusion is due to the fact that there has never been any conclusive data from any medical study on the subject.

Oh, there have been many studies done. Too many to list here, but the problem is simply a lack of empirical data either way. The one thing the entire medical community can agree on, concerning prostate cancer, is that we know more about its treatment than we do about its cause.

One of the main problems with any study of this nature rests with the honesty of its participants. Also, running a “control” group is NOT easy. After all, who is going to tell a bunch of grown men that are not permitted to ejaculate for the next twelve months (or longer) while another group will have to ejaculate several times a week? Who is going to keep the abstinent group honest?

What we do know is that the older you get, the better chance you have of developing prostate cancer. Your race may (or may not) also have an effect on that possibility. Ask any prostate researcher and he/she can tell you more things that don't cause prostate cancer than any that might cause it.

So, if you are worried about putting your guy into long-term chastity, you can always learn to milk his prostate or become very good at ruining his orgasms. Either of these methods would be an effective prostate cancer preventative, if it is, indeed, caused by abstinence.

Mistress Ivey

I am Back

My online experiment didn't work out well, to say the least. So I am back on my blog. I will be writing on various subjects, those that other people write me about. So if you have a question, or an interest in some specific area of your relationship, please comment or write a note at cbt.mstrss(at)gmail(dot) com and I will try to address it here.

To start with, I would like to cover one thing that women often seem to forget, male ejaculation is bad. Well, not totally, but if your hubby, partner, significant other, chastity boi, or what have you, seems a little grumpy, there are several possible reasons. 1) Maybe he needs some sexual attention. Make sure he gets plenty. 2) Maybe work isn't going well and he needs some sexual attention to get his mind off of it. Give it to him. 3) Or, just maybe, you allowed him to have a full orgasm.

As I said in my books, a full male ejaculation can cause many men to suffer a sort of “after effect” in which they display a shortness of temper, or an in general grumpy disposition for several days. To avoid this kind of thing happening to you, be sure you monitor and control his orgasms. Whether you place him in chastity or not, just make sure he isn't masturbating in the shower when you are not looking.

Next week we will cover the big question about prostate cancer.

Mistress Ivey

Venus For Men

I have recently become aware of a product that I feel is definitely worth mentioning. I am sure many, if not all of you, have heard of the “Sybian” by Abco Research Associates. I have been aware of the “Sybian” for years but was not aware they also produce a product just as good for men!

The “Venus For Men” is a male masturbation aid that far out performs any other male masturbation aid I have ever come across. It is unique in what it does and how it does what it does. So what does it do? It can give your man the feeling of actual sex with a woman (or even better, as some of it's user's claim). It can be used to to help those with erection difficulties and can even create an ejaculation without an erection (or so they claim).

I have not, to date, used one of these devices on my hubby, or anyone else for that matter, but I would love to try it out. According to some users, a man can experience prolonged sexual pleasure because of the simple adjustments that can be made to both stroke and speed of the unit. I have read that simply by using a slow stroke, a man can last for hours. Imagine what you could do in the way of edging! If you were to control the unit, instead of allowing him to do it, you could go out shopping, and when you return, he would still not have ejaculated.

Think if it ladies, you could edge him or tease him for hours without ever getting your hands messy! Wouldn't that be a fun and unique experience!? Your guy would no longer beg you to tease him, but rather, he would beg you to use the Venus For Men on him. If you are of a mind to, you could give him more than one orgasm in a day. How many? That would be up to you to find out. But what fun you would both have learning just what this machine can do for you both!

There is even a pump system available to “enlarge” him for awhile. And an attachment to massage or suck his (or your) nipples. It even works on just the head of his penis if you like. It looks to be a very interesting device and I can't wait to try it out.

Check it out for yourself at https://venusformen.com/ and see what I am talking about.

Mistress Ivey

A Reblog from Tumblr

keephimcaged:

Again this is one of those facts that amazes me. I never thought I’d do this, let alone enjoy it. But I do it all the time now!
Most regularly it’ll be after I’ve been edging him, and I’ll say ‘that’s enough now’ and just let go, and he’ll let out the hottest little whimper of need. And I’ll either say ‘cage back on’ or ‘you can stay out tonight’, either way, he almost always HAS to push himself up against me, he can’t physically stop himself. Either his still hard cock or his even harder cage, pushing into my bottom, desperate, wanting me so much.
Isn’t this the irony… the snuggles I want after sex I get most easily, when I DON’T let him cum! He wraps himself around me, wanting me, needing me, it’s so wonderful! If I’m not that sleepy, especially if I’ve left him uncaged, I’ll whisper, ‘What would you like to do to me right now?’ and I lie there as he tells me how much he wants to make love to me with his mouth, or he’ll get more aggressive, he’ll push his cock into me and tell me he wants to fill me with his seed, gently fucking me, obsessed with me.
This is the greatest kink ever… lol
And if I’ve had enough just a ‘that’s enough now darling, if you want to be allowed out tomorrow’ and I’m left in peace, knowing he’s fantasising about me, and I love it!

flr-caged-n-dominated

Feelings

No, I am not going to break out into song. You're welcome. However, I am going to talk about feelings. Everyone has them. But it amazes me how many people can't seem to express them. Especially when it counts the most... to their spouse. Admit it. You have feeling that you are either afraid to express, or afraid of what your spouse will think of you if you do express them.

Well, I am here to tell you that keeping things bottled up is NEVER a good thing. Have you ever wanted your husband to understand certain feelings that you have, maybe toward sex, but you just could not seem to express them in a way that would be non-threatening? Or maybe there was something that you wanted to do that you thought (or were taught) would be considered too “kinky” for him?

Well, I am here to tell you that your husband has some of those same feelings. In fact, he is so afraid to tell you because, well, it's just not “manly” to have those kinds of feelings. Men, you know what I am talking about. I have a quote from a woman I respect for her work in the area of female led relationships. Tell me, gentlemen, that this does not strike home.

“These feelings you have had for years. you want to be dominated, controlled, and told what to do and when. you feel like you have to have this. you want to serve a strong, caring, loving, consistent, firm, dominant person. You will obey, serve, and please. Not out of fear, but because it's what you crave to do, you live for it. Living by set rules and expectations is not only what you desire and crave, it just seems right.

you think these feelings are strange, you are afraid to tell anyone. you keep it to yourself. you think you are the only one like this. you also think people will believe you weak or unintelligent. Let Me tell you, you are not alone. More men have these feelings and will admit it than you know. It is very natural. Also you are probably driven, educated, strong. you don't want to lead. you want to give yourself over to the Mistress in your life.”

If this is you, and you have no one in your life to tell this to, then you need to check out “Ivey's Keys” for yourself. You might just be surprised by what you find there. And Ladies, if your husband has indicated that he has these feelings and you just don't know how to handle it, You should join him. Or maybe you want to learn more about how to handle those feelings you know that he has. Again, join us at “Iveys' Keys” and learn what you need to know to live a happier, more fulfilling life with him.

Mistress Ivey

An Addendum

Yes, we have moved! But we have upgraded the New Website as well.

We now accept BOTH male and Female submissives and Keyholders!

When we first began this project, it was just a concept to bring male subs  and female dominants

together. But with a little tweaking her and there, we were able to adapt everything to hand female subs and male dominants as well.

Now we truly have a website for just about everyone who is into D/s relationships but has not (yet) found the right counterpart to their particular desires. So if you are into D/s and want to put a little more spice into your life, or just need someone to be a yang to your yeng, we can help!

Everyone is invited! Join us and have fun even if you are deep into a healthy D/s relationship of your own. You can BOTH join and have a lifetime of fun together!

Mistress Ivey

We Are Moving!

We are moving this blog to another website. I know what an inconvenience that will be for many of you. I will try to get a feed going as soon as possible so that you won't miss anything, if you get my posts through a feed.

As for the New Website, it serves a dual purpose: 1) To contain my blog with a better interface and more to do; and 2) To allow me to run the other part of my site without having to keep switching back and forth.

So... “What is the other side of your new website?” you ask. It is a Member's Only website created by nemo. It is a website for submissives, wives, Keyholders, and Mistresses to have some fun. For men, we will provide a “Keyholding” service for those who don't have anyone else to control things like, orgasms, chastity, behavior, etc.

We will be providing a place for women to come and learn the ropes, ask questions, and get answers. They can even turn their submissive partners over to us so they can get a little R&R as it were. We will give you the chance to relax while we “steer the boat” for awhile.

We NEED Keyholders as well! If you are experienced, or just want to learn how to do it, we invite you to join us in the “Keyholder's Group” where you can learn some tricks, earn some cash, and have some fun while doing it.

This will be the last post on this blog site.

The new site is located athttp;//iveyspage.com (Ivey's Keys) At least come a check us out.

Mistress Ivey

What? Again?

My husband and I have been working on a new website. Really? I thought you were sick? Yes, well... The ideas are mine, he does all the work.

Many of you have not participated in the poll I posted last week. It's a little disappointing, but I can understand. After all, you have no information on which to base your vote. Well, let me change all that.

I have always had too many men wanting me to be their Mistress... Their Keyholder, as it were. My problem was, and still is, I don't really have time to keep up with all the basic requirements of handling a submissive. I am sure that many of you other Ladies feel the same way. I mean, you have to be ready at a moments notice to assign tasks, dole out punishments, and think of new things for your submissive to do, just to keep him happy. Not to mention trying to keep up with your own day to day activities.

Truth Or Dare?

Truth or Dare?

Anyone want to play? You know the game and have probably played it a time or two. But our Webmaster has just come up a version that should be fun for everyone. If you are one of those that frequents Dungeon Parties, or any other type of “Adult” get together, then you should check this game out.

Women... Is your hubby all locked up and you have been looking for a way to introduce another woman (Mistress) into the mix? Or maybe you have had thoughts of cuckolding him. Okay, the cuckolding thing was probably his idea, but here's a way to find out if it would actually be something he is okay with, or if it is just a fantasy of his.

Go to “The Dare Games” website and check it out. Just click on the “Truth? Or Dare?” in the menu on the right-hand side of the page. It will take you to an introduction to the game as it is played on our new website. It's a great game to play at a dungeon party, or any time you want to play a sexy game with three players or more.

Invite a couple of friends over and have a wonderful evening. Just like when you were kids. It can bring some life back to your marriage even if it has not seemed to be lacking. Many groups are beginning to add this kind of sexual game play with others who are open to it. It can turn out to be a regular thing.

Try it! Even if it's just two of you, you get hooked on it.

Mistress Ivey

Implements of Pain & Pleasure

*** Before I get started I just wanted to say that I am feeling better. not quite back to normal, but much better than before. If your Doctor tells you to rest... Do it!

My post:

I have talked about discipline and punishment over the years. Now I want to familiarize you with some of the tools (toys as they are called) used punish or just play with. Bare in mind, these are all items that can be used for both pleasure as well as inflicting pain. It all depends on what you use and how you use it.

There are many items designed to be used more for play (pleasure) that won't cause much pain, if any. This is generally because of the materials used in their manufacture. Other items are designed to inflict more pain. These can be used very effectively for punishment, but may also be used to create pleasure, depending on how they are used. For example, any flogger can be used to create pleasure simply by dragging it across the skin without hitting. You can also giggle the handle so that the ends of the tails 'dance' over the skin creating a very pleasurable sensation.

DON'T Iggnore Him!

I have learned a few things about being a “Good Mistress” since my illness took hold of me. It seems that there things you can do even when you are “under the weather” (so to speak) as I have been for many months now. With little to do and not being able to get out much, I have been re-reading some of my own books. Don't you just hate it when you were right, but then didn't heed your own advice!?

It doesn't take much energy to tease your partner. I'm not talking about spending an hour with him tied to bed, but rather, only a few minutes here and there. If release from chastity (or lack there of) seems to be a problem, It takes no energy at all to lock the bedroom door and have him masturbate while you give him directions (or tease him about his technique). In fact, since we have a nice clear shower door, I can even sit just outside it and direct him while he is showering. Talking to him takes so little energy I think I could do it my sleep. Oops! I think I have done that...

Apologies

I must apologize for not having posted the last two weeks. I thought I was covered but I wasn't. I have been ill (still am) but that's not an excuse.

This weeks topic,,, How to take care of your sick Dominant wife. The first thing you must remember is that, just because she is under the weather, doesn't mean you can slack off. After all, you wouldn't want her to slack off if you were ill, now would you?

At one time, you decided that serving her was what you wanted. There is no better time to do that than when she is ill. In fact, it's the best time to put everything you've got into your service to her. Believe me, it will NOT go unnoticed. Try to make her as comfortable as you can. Don't ask a lot questions (“can I get you anything” is not one of them). Don't expect her to tell you what to do all the time. Odds are, you know what to do. This is the time to do it without making her tell you.

Valentine's Day

I know, it's just a day created by the greeting card companies to sell cards, flowers and candy. But, hey, I'm a woman. So I have been doing some looking around for a few items to give my hubby. He had better be doing the same!

I don't send cards (I live with my Valentine). Why would I send him a card? But...That doesn't mean I can't buy him gifts. AND... It doesn't mean he won't have to buy me a few things, either. In fact, I have plans that include taking him shopping with me. After all, why should I settle for what he “thinks” I want when I can show him and stand right there while he buys it?

Gentlemen, and I know most of my readers are gentlemen, if you have been wanting to show your wife, girlfriend, or significant other, the benefits of taking control. So this is your big chance to do just that! Give her a day she will never forget. Pamper her from the moment she wakes up. How about breakfast in bed? You could follow that up with a full body massage including a nice long foot rub. She will love it. Spend the rest of your day showing her just how nice it would be to have a guy willing to do everything for her. Let her spend the day sitting in a chair, relaxing, watching TV, while you massage those lovely feet of hers… Again! If she is hungry, make her something to eat. If she is thirsty, fill her glass. Never mind the kids, this is Valentine’s Day. You have a reason to act like her slave. She deserves it!

Who knows? Maybe you can carry it over into the rest of the week. Before long, she won’t be able to live without knowing that you will be there to do all those little things she hates doing herself. Don’t blow it, guys. This is day comes but once a year. Make the most of it! And… Good luck!

Mistress Ivey

Attitude!

Okay, so you are still having trouble talking to your partner in bed (or wherever you are doing sexual things). The fact is, this is the one person with whom you should be able to talk. Heck, you talk about everything else. You even talked about doing this kind of sexual stuff with him. So what’s the problem?

The problem is, you are afraid of being judged, of failing to perform up to HIS expectations. Now isn’t it? Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself these questions: Do you want to make him happy? Do you want to enjoy having sex with your partner? Of course you do. But that’s exactly why you are having so much trouble. You put too much pressure on yourself. I am sure that you can get passed this, if you will just relax and forget about trying to please HIM. Instead, please yourself!

Talking During Sex (Pt-2)

So you want to learn how to talk during sex, huh? Well, it all begins with knowing your partner’s fantasies. Last time, I talked about the feelings of vulnerability and humiliation. I told you that you needed to talk about things that would either terrify or humiliate your partner in order to turn him on. But how do you know what those things are?

You have to do your homework! You have to learn to listen and to use what you learn against him. I can tell you things to say until I am blue in the face, and they may or may not work for you. But if you do your own research, find out what REALLY turns your partner on, you won’t need me to tell you anything. You will know what to do and what to say.

Talking During Sex (Pt-1)

Why is it that we women have such difficulty talking sexually to our husbands during sex? I know that many women have this problem. I saw a survey (somewhere) that where almost eighty percent of the respondents said they had trouble talking “dirty” to their spouses. I had this problem when I first got with my husband. I don’t know why I was afraid to talk dirty to him, but I was.

Back when I was his slave, and he did most of the “action” during sex (I was usually the one tied down and sometimes gagged) he did all the talking. He would tell me things of a sexual nature without batting an eye. He would hold up a knife, look me in the eye, and say something like, “We are just going to draw a little blood.” No, he never actually did draw blood, but he planted the idea of it in my head so clearly, that after he placed a blindfold over my eyes, and I felt the cold steel touch my skin, I was positive he had cut me. As I said, he never did actually cut me, but the thought of being totally at his mercy, knowing that he could cut me anywhere he wanted, thrilled me.

Differences Between Male & Female

No, I don’t mean anatomically, nor do I mean mentally. What I am referring to here is how the world treats males differently than females (just in case you hadn’t noticed).

A man runs naked across the basketball court of a Big 10 game during half-time. He is immediately arrested. Hauled off to the poky where he will no doubt be held on charges of indecent exposure, be stood in front of a judge who will, no doubt, slap him with a huge fine. His name, may or may not, ever be found on the front pages of any newspapers anywhere. His friends will pat him on the back and tell him what great thing he did while buying another beer at his favorite sports bar.

Slave -v- Sub

Well, it’s a whole new year! Whatever your dreams, I hope they all come true.

I have been in the BDSM community for many years. My husband even longer. I have heard debate after debate as to exactly what the difference is between a “slave” and a “submissive.” My understanding is that there have been these same debates for years and years before I was even born. So I want to clear a few things up.

First of all, I am sure there are those who will want to argue with me about it. Fine, post your comments. I DO read them all. Even though I don’t always reply to them, I do read them. They are automatically emailed to me. So I read each one carefully before deciding to which I want to respond.