Tuesday, January 12, 2016

Differences Between Male & Female

No, I don’t mean anatomically, nor do I mean mentally. What I am referring to here is how the world treats males differently than females (just in case you hadn’t noticed).

A man runs naked across the basketball court of a Big 10 game during half-time. He is immediately arrested. Hauled off to the poky where he will no doubt be held on charges of indecent exposure, be stood in front of a judge who will, no doubt, slap him with a huge fine. His name, may or may not, ever be found on the front pages of any newspapers anywhere. His friends will pat him on the back and tell him what great thing he did while buying another beer at his favorite sports bar.

However, a woman runs across the field during a time-out in at the Super-Bowl. Even though she is caught on camera, just like the man above, she may not even be arrested. She might be held by the stadium security until her husband (or someone) comes to “bail” her out. There will likely be some kind of fine, but possibly not. But… Her name and photo (or the video) will be on every news cast for the next three days. Almost every American will know who she is. Her girlfriends will laugh about it and, maybe, buy her lunch. But most people will think she is just some crazy lady who wanted to show off her body.

So what’s my point? If you are the Dominant for a female sub, you can have her do a whole lot more in the way of public humiliation (and get away with it) than if your sub were male. Example: A female sub could masturbate under the table of just about any restaurant or fast-food joint in the world and (just as in When Harry Met Sally) the person at the next table might say, “I’ll have what she’s having,” just like in the movie. But a man, doing the same thing in the same place, would not fare so well. Again, he would likely be arrested and end up with a “Sex-offender” record that would follow him around for the rest of his life.

So if you want your guy to masturbate in a public (or semi-public) place. At least allow him some form of modesty. A table cloth, a restroom stall, or even a broom closet will do. You don’t want him to be arrested. Maybe have him tied naked to a tree out in the middle of nowhere while a passenger train goes by, (that works for females as well), instead of standing in a bank parking lot at noon on Friday. Just be careful what you make him do. “She” can get away with a lot more without incurring long-term repercussions.

One more example: If a woman flashes a man sitting on a park bench she is a lot less likely to be arrested than a man flashing a woman on the same bench. Just saying. As the Dominant, it is your job to protect your sub. So use your head.

Mistress Ivey


  1. If you want to humiliate a male sub simple things work best.
    There is nothing better than having him wear a large pretty ribbon in his hair. It is not against the law, and he will be totally and completely humiliated. Kathy

    1. Say that is true for that sub. And then ask: Why? What is humiliating about a pretty ribbon in one's hair?
      The only answer I can come up with is that for some men, it is humiliating to take on aspects of the gender role of women. If that man saw women, and being womenly, as just as praiseworthy as men, and being manly (*), then there would be no humiliation. Which means there is a deep-seated misogyny at work. One that is easily absorbed while growing up, one that is subtle in that it never manifests in violence or obvious slurs, one that is just as common in women as it is in men.
      I'd argue that's worth changing. Wear that pretty ribbon, but not with an eye towards humiliation, but an eye towards letting go of the notion that men displaying womanly traits are somehow lesser.
      (*) womanly and manly as short hands for "behaving in a way conforming to common conceptions of gender roles." Yes that could unpack into an entire book, which I am not going to write here :).

    2. One Friday I came home and was told that it was to be a "training wkend". I was told to shower, then all my hair was shaved off fm neck down. Then I was told to "put these thigh-highs on"..( stockings). Then Her finger pointed down meant "kneel"; I rcvd.my slave collar and was told that I would serve all wkend dressed like that..The occasional-invited-friend ( of hers ) made it worse. Once I was performing "ottoman duties", the next friend paddled me...It was a long, humbling weekend..Probably what many new husbands need though.

  2. I have tried on lingerie in a crowded Victoria's Secret and a busy Frederick's with lingerie my wife told me to go try on. Of course, I then get to purchase it. I've been required to masturbate in the men's room of a mall, depositing my output into the panties I was wearing as proof. On several occasions I've been told to buy matching panties in her size (4) and mine (8) and to tell the clerk "His and Hers." When out of state we were in a hotel hosting a sorority convention. We were in an elevator with six or seven young women. I was the only man. My wife said, plainly but not loudly, "your behavior was unacceptable. I'll be spanking you as soon as we get in the room. Do you understand?" "Yes,ma'am," I mumbled. I've never been an elevator which got so quiet, so quickly.

  3. One of her rules is that I treat all women with deference and respect, regardless of age or appearance. At parties, she expects me to always be ready to give up my seat, pick up something that has been dropped, etc. My "goal" is to draw a compliment so that she can say that "He's very well trained." This gets a taken-aback look and a red face (from me).

    1. Treating "all women with deference...etc." was just part of belonging to a Lady. Even better than humiliation was to have dayworld women - who had no reason to have any idea who we were - say "oh, your wife is so lucky."

  4. Two years ago I went to a strip club with a friend. He was dating one of the strippers at the time. Beautiful girl, able to bend her body like a gymnast, kinky and very forward. She told us to stick around until closing time so the three of us could go to Denny's for breakfast. We got to the restaurant and I went to the bathroom while they sat at a booth in a back corner. I came back minutes later and they were sitting opposite each other, at the edge of a booth in the back corner of the restaurant. Odd. I thought she would be seated by his side since they were having a fling. Instead of asking to one to slide in, I asked if the waitress had come by yet. Clearly the waitress came by since menus were on the table, along with glasses of water. Neither answered the question and my friend acted like he didn't even hear me ask. He was grinning as he looked at the menu as she turned her attention to me and said, in an even tone, "I want to see your cock. Unzip your pants and show it to me". Whoa, that caught me off guard. I was embarrassed but it was hot to hear. My friend barely held back a chuckle, acting like he was clearing his throat and still more interested in the menu. I clearly heard what she said, but my only response was a lame "what?!?!" and an awkward laugh. She said "come closer". I didn't know exactly what she had in mind but I inched forward and she didn't budge to make room for me to sit. I'm a tall guy so she was looking up at me as she put her hand on my inner thigh, just above the knee and said again "show me your cock, Dan. Right here, right now". In awkward attempt to be funny and deflect the whole situation, I said "we can go to your place and I'll show you." I knew that saying this in front of my friend wouldn't be a big deal considering the way we joke. Obviously they were both joking with me, right? I was dish it right back at 'em. Again in an even tone, she said, "no, I want to see it now. If you want to come to my place, you have to show it to me here. Besides, you just saw me naked at the club. Unzip your pants and pull it out." She put me on the spot and my friend was acting like he was trying to decide if he should get white or wheat toast. I'm standing before this sexy girl, my crotch less than a foot from her face, at 3:30AM, at Denny's, and a big dilemma. She was serious. You can imagine the pressure. Here's this knockout, offering what I believed at the time would be the inclusion of me in a three-way, but I had to show my cock to her, in public, first. What made it worse was that I was shy and hadn't been laid in a long time. I blew it by saying "no way, scoot over". She said "suit yourself" as she shouted even closer to me and got up from her seat as she braced herself with on hand on the edge of the table, while the other hand (it never left my leg), ran up from my inner knee to the top of my inner thigh and gave a lingering squeeze without ever touching my cock. I was hard in seconds. She went around to the other side of the table and sat down next to my friend, looked at me and said "Chris won't have a problem showing me his after breakfast. Too bad, Dan". She winked at me, then my friend broke up the tension by laughing his ass off and changing the subject. Breakfast was great, except for my raging hardon.

    So that's my story. Later, I never asked my friend what that was all about and the topic never came up again. I'll never really know what her true intentions were, but there's a part of my that likes to think that she wanted to have sex with me, but first wanted me to show that I had the balls to play on her level. I'm not as shy anymore and wouldn't be nearly as embarrassed by a woman talking to me this way, but can't say that I'll ever expose myself in public.

    Mistress Ivey, on a side note, can you tell me the name of the model in the picture for this blog post?

  5. Do you think this is healthy for men and society in general? This is the first time I ever heard of this kind of thing.

    1. Whatever gets you through the night, I figure. Do you think it is healthy for anyone to repress their sexuality because of "society"?

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  7. "What I am referring to here is how the world treats males differently than females..."

    - Great truth, Mistress Ivey