Are you truly submissive, or are you just kinky? That's the question you men should ask yourselves. You women should ask yourselves if you are truly in an FLR or are you just a dominant for his kink?
Many men, women too, mistake leadership in an FLR for dominance in kink. If you are doing kinky things for your partner because that's what he wants, but you are not getting what you want from the relationship, then you are just playing dominant to his kink. If he were truly submissive, then he would be fulfilling all your hopes and dreams, desires, and kinks, without expecting anything in return. That much is fact.
An FLR is not a sexual relationship. It is a lead and follow relationship. That is, as the leader of the relationship, you, as a woman, should be getting anything and everything you want. Only then, should you feel the need to reward your submissive with sexual favors that he wants, whether they be kinky or not.
Think carefully about what I am saying here. If you, as a man, want to be teased for hours on end, then denied an orgasm for months at a time, then you must be willing to do anything to get that. Yes, I said “ANYTHING!” A true submissive will be rewarded for serving unselfishly. That means, if you expect no reward for your service to your partner and you serve her without complaint, then you deserve to be rewarded. That reward may, or may not, be sexual in nature, but it will be fulfilling.
So serve your wife (Mistress) without seeking reward, you shall be rewarded. It may sound contradictory, but it isn't when you think about it. So ask yourself, “Am I being truly submissive, or am I being selfish?” The answer may surprise you. And you may not like it. Only YOU can change the reason for your service.
Inspired by "Queenie" of ConquerHim.com