Tuesday, February 2, 2016


Okay, so you are still having trouble talking to your partner in bed (or wherever you are doing sexual things). The fact is, this is the one person with whom you should be able to talk. Heck, you talk about everything else. You even talked about doing this kind of sexual stuff with him. So what’s the problem?

The problem is, you are afraid of being judged, of failing to perform up to HIS expectations. Now isn’t it? Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself these questions: Do you want to make him happy? Do you want to enjoy having sex with your partner? Of course you do. But that’s exactly why you are having so much trouble. You put too much pressure on yourself. I am sure that you can get passed this, if you will just relax and forget about trying to please HIM. Instead, please yourself!

Get it out of your mind that you have to please him. If you can find it within yourself to enjoy the things you are doing to him, you will have no more trouble doing them. I have been trying to convince women for years that, even though it might seem like it is all about what he wants, it isn’t. It’s about what makes you happy. Both of you.

It’s all about attitude. Your attitude! If all you do is try to please your partner, then you will, most likely, fail… Miserably! But, if you can learn to have fun with teasing him, you can’t fail. I guess that the hardest part to come to grips with is that he WANTS you to tease him, relentlessly, and then deny him an orgasm. That’ right… He WANTS you to deny him the release you have always, ALWAYS given him.

Since the first time you had sex, maybe in the back his Daddy’s car, you have thought that “getting him off” was the ultimate way to please any man. I am here to tell you, that’s a bunch of crap! Trust me on this. He enjoys being aroused much more than he ever enjoyed squirting his cum anywhere! If you can get that through your head, you will be able to have more fun. If you are having fun, talking to him, teasing him with your words, will come easy.

Mistress Ivey


  1. I agree. I am the submissive one who wants to wear the cage. I just have to be patient. The talking is difficult for both sides. For myself, I try to be casual when asking or describing what i like. If she were to tease me relentlessly, and denying me orgasms, that would be the most exciting brain tease that I could imagine. It would be a feeling of forever ongoing lust....anticipation...hope.... I hope to reach this level of trust with my wife someday. Thanks for your blog. jbodeen

  2. Silly girl here...
    I find it difficult to talk too, so we have started sending each other emails. Sometimes it takes me a couple hours to compose one and get my thoughts together.