Thursday, December 4, 2014

Judging by the email I receive on a regular basis, I assume that most of my readers are male. Just to be sure, I am asking you (whoever you are) to Please leave a comment concerning the variety in your sex life. Is it enough? Do you need more? Your participation is much appreciated.

My point is, I feel like I am preaching to the choir. However, this applies equally to both men and women even if they are not in a Female Led relationship (FLR). My subject for today is, Variety! After all, variety is the spice of life...

Let's assume that you can choose anything you like for dinner, but whatever you choose will be what you get everyday for the rest of your life. Just how long do you think it would take for you to get tired of eating the same old thing day after day? If you are like most people, it wouldn't take very long.

So why do you think your guy (husband, subbie, chastity boy, or whatever you call him) wants the same old thing sexually everyday? No matter what you are doing to tease him, no matter how much you make him please you, if you are not varying it often, then you are risking him getting bored with it (yourself included).

It doesn't matter what we are talking about, the fantasies you tell him, the sexual activity you make him preform for (or on) you, how you tease him, what you feed him, or even the praise you give him, if you are not including variety in all you do, then you are risking everything you have worked for going right down the drain.

By now, you have learned that the care and feeding of your partner is a great deal of work. I am the first to admit that it can be difficult. But you must include as much variety as you can in your daily routines. But if your marriage has improved since you started tease and denial with your partner, you don't want to lose what you have gained.

I could write list upon list of ways to vary your everyday activities, but I am going to leave it up to you to do the research. After all, who knows your partner better than you do? So here's what you need to do...

Take the time to research your partner's fantasies. Search the web for stories that he (or you) will like. Think about how you can change up those daily teases and even come up with new ways of denying his orgasm. Practice a little variety in those little teases you do several times a day to keep him interested, aroused, and thinking of you.

Make a list of everything you can remember doing. Make separate lists for daily teasing, fantasies, your own pleasure, and those special events you have done. Then try to add a few new things to each list. Now keep those lists handy and refer to them often. Don't repeat any one thing too often. Add to those lists any time you think of something new to try.

If you mix everything up enough, you may be surprised at the over all results. All this may very well renew your own pleasure and desire to engage in sexual activity and the fun you have teasing his cock. Variety truly is the spice of life, especially when it comes to your sex life!

Mistress Ivey

1 comment:

  1. Hi Mistress Ivey, As asked by you, here is my comment... my wife and i have been married for 19 years. i have always had a kinky side with most of the fetishes that you discuss in your posts... my wife is less kinky but works hard to please my other side. She likes to be cuddled, caressed, made love to softly, gently and passionately. I am always willing to do anything she asks, sexually. i also do my share of things around the house.i have a job/business, take care of manual chores and am involved with raising our children. When it comes to pleasing me (me being the sub) she does it, but i get the feeling that she can't wait for it to be over, i feel that it is a chore for her. after she has had her orgasm,(i always insist that she has her orgasm) she insists that i have one as quick as possible. even though i would be willing to help her achieve more orgasms. i have tried opening up at the beginning of our relationship.(She found some nylons hanging around, yeah i'm a cross dresser. i thought that this would be a good time to open up. after her initial response, i felt like a freak. How could something that made me feel so good, make me feel so bad. We work it out by me having my secret side. So the way i get to enjoy my secret side is through fantasies. I fantasize that she knows all about my fetishes while i act them out. i have been wearing a cage for the last month and i fantasize that she locks it up in the morning and unlocks it at night. She teases me about the panties and hose that i wear(in my fantasies) i could go on....maybe i'll send you a story that you can publish. summing up, after i read your first two books, maybe i'll ask her to read them :) thanks for your blog. jbo