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To me, the simplest answer is, use a lighter touch. That is, if your fingers seem to set him off too easily, try angora, a soft brush, or even silk panties. Try anything that will reduce the amount of actual stimulation (i.e. friction) and increase the amount of mental stimulation. That is, tease his mind more than his penis.
I know there are men out there who can actually achieve an orgasm without even being touched, but they are few and far between. So unless your partner is one of these, I suggest that you tease him by touching his penis less. Instead, try touching his nipples, his balls, even his bottom or his anus. There are guys who will get extremely excited when you touch their feet. Experiment. Find out what works and what doesn't work with your guy. It's FUN!
Now, it's not all up to you. If your guy is one of those who shoots off too fast, he needs to work on the problem from his perspective as well. He needs to figure out how to hold back, if even just a little. Once he finds a method that will help him hold back a little, he should concentrate on maximizing his abilities in that area. For example, it may be that if he can learn to keep his cock expanded, that is, at its most erect. He may be able to hold off for a few seconds to a minute or more once he has practiced it for awhile.
To understand what I mean, have him try to make his cock as hard as he can. There are certain muscles he needs to utilize to do this. Once he figures out which muscles control it, he can practice exercising those muscles until he can continuously squeeze them for an extended period of time. At least long enough to tell you that you need to back off for a minute so that he can relax.
Some men have told me that if they can manage to keep certain muscles from clinching (tightening) they can hold off an orgasm for quite awhile. However, it is difficult learning which muscles those are and keeping them relaxed during a tease session is something that will take lots of practice.
There is one other way to extend a tease session for a quick-shooter. Allow the first orgasm to happen. Of course, it should be ruined whenever possible, but allowing it to happen will simply get it out of the way and the teasing can then continue. If the orgasm happens to be a full orgasm, then I find you have no other recourse than to engage in a some post orgasmic torment. Grab that cock with one hand and rub the head with the palm of the other for as long as you can. I say as long as you can simply because if your guy is not bound he will stop you. But at this point, that's all you can do. Treat it like a punishment for not warning you in time for you to ruin the orgasm, or prevent it altogether.
The final method I have to offer to those of you with preemies (premature ejaculators), is don't touch his cock until (and if) you intend for him to cum. That is, simply tease his mind. Tell him fantasies, make him watch videos of other women teasing their men, or anything else you can do without actually touching his cock. Don't allow him to touch it either. After all, your goal in teasing him is to keep him hard for as long as you can (or want to) without allowing him any kind of release.
So, in summation, there are ways of handling this problem (or even working around it) in order to accomplish your goal. Stick to it, be inventive, and you will find a way. Please write me and let know what you do to handle your preemie. I could use a few more ideas myself.