I get a
large number of women telling me that they worry that they are not
doing enough, or the right things, to keep their partner satisfied.
First of all, and I have said this until I am blue in the face... It
is NOT about his pleasure, it is about yours!
Many
women fear that they are not doing enough, or that he will get bored
with the things they are doing. I can understand these feelings. I
have been there myself. However, I came to the realization that I was
creating my own fear. I had a fear of failure, of not doing it right,
or not doing enough to keep him happy. It is not about him!
To put it
simply, you should not be doing things FOR him, but TO him. You
should be doing things FOR YOU! Don't think in terms of whether or
not you are pleasing him, but rather, is he pleasing you? You are (or
should be) the focus of all he does. It is your job to make him focus
on those things. If he is not happy doing that, then he may not be
cut out to be a submissive.
If that
is the case, it is up to you to mold him into the man you want him to
be. If he is bored, shame on you. You are not giving him enough to do
to keep him aroused. You are, probably, not using his fantasies to
your advantage. You should learn to do that. If you are doing it,
then do it more often. You can always have him do a webtease. It not
only keeps him busy but, usually, allows him an orgasm. Maybe you
should make up (or modify) your own webtease that does NOT end with
his satisfaction, but rather your satisfaction.
Your
partner should be coming to you and asking what he can do for you. If
he isn't, then he is not aroused enough. If he complains about not
getting enough (sexually) then find more ways to arouse him without
having to satisfy him.
Nine
times out of ten, if things are not going right, it is because you
are creating your own problem. If you keep in mind that it is not
what you do for him, but rather what you do to him for yourself, you
will get along much better.
Mistress
Ivey
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