Drinking His Own Cum

I've written several blogs about this subject, but I have had questions from readers who claim their partner is reluctant to drink their own cum after an orgasm. Well, Ladies, this is completely normal. It all goes back to those evil physiological and mental changes that occur when a man has a full (normal) ejaculation.

Believe me, this is the reality of how men work. Many men secretly want to drink their own cum. Some will admit it, especially if they are very aroused. It does not mean that they harbor the secret desire to experience homosexual activities. If they refuse to do it after having a full orgasm, it doesn't mean that they were lying about their desires. It only means that they are normal when it comes to after-orgasm desires.

If your man is one of those who lose the desire to taste their own ejaculate, then there are some things you can do about it. First of all, take a look at the poll my slave (nemo) put on his blog. At this point in time, the poll is still running, but as of this moment, the outcome is obvious: Men want to be “forced” to obey. Armed with this knowledge, you may be able to get him to comply with your order to drink his cum. Be aware, you may still be met with resistance. But, in most cases, persistence may just get you what you want.

If he is still too resistant for your taste, here is a method that is sure to work. Don't let him have a normal orgasm. Instead, ruin two or three orgasms in a row (it shouldn't take long) and then tell him to drink the result of this milking. Since he has not actually experienced a normal orgasm, his sexual arousal should still be in effect and he will be more willing to comply. I use a small medicine cup, the type you get free with many liquid, over the counter, medications, to collect the results of this type of milking. Then it is easy (and less messy) to get him to drink it.

The milking (through ruined orgasms) method works very well simply because his desire for sexual release (and attention) are still very high. He will be more willing to do what you want than when you allow him a full orgasm.

Mistress Ivey

To Cuckold or Not to Cuckold

For many, that may be the question. But for me, there is no question. I know that my husband (and slave) sometimes has fantasies about these things. I also know that from his past experiences (read wives) he could not emotionally withstand it, no matter how strong his fantasies on the matter.

If you have delved as deeply as I have suggested you do into your partner's fantasies, then you should know which of these fantasies you might want to turn into reality for him, and which you should leave as fantasy. But we all have that “wicked” streak that wants to give him everything he fantasizes about. The real questions is, what damage might be done if we do?

Though nemo often fantasizes about being cuckolded, I know that he would have serious jealousy issues with it should I ever actually do it. So here is how I plan to over come these issues.

First of all, I know that if I were to actually cuckold him, it might just ruin our relationship. Therefore, I must find another way of making his fantasy, at least seem, to come true. I would schedule a night (or even a weekend) out in a hotel, somewhere. Las Vegas would be an excellent choice. One evening, I would bind him to the bed or even a chair while I go out. I would, of course tell him that I am going out to find a man to fuck me and that when I get get back, he can lick me clean.

This would, of course, cause him to have much anxiety. He might even get angry. But at some point during my one to two hour absence, he would fantasize about what I am doing. He would convince himself that I am only fulfilling another of his many fantasies, and that the man I choose would mean absolutely nothing to me. The fact is, I would choose no one. I would merely spend the time away gambling, shopping, or even just sight-seeing.

When I finally return to our room, I would continue the fantasy, acting as if I had just had great sex with a really sexy guy I found in the bar. I would undress, and make him give me two or three (or more) orgasms orally. I am sure it would not take long for him to realize that my vaginal cavity contained no semen. Only when I have been fully satisfied, would I explain what I had actually done.

It is very important that in doing this kind of thing, you would need to sit down and have a serious discussion about what happened. You have to be very clear that you (or I in this example) did NOT have sex with anyone other than him. Discuss his feelings about what you did, how he felt about it, what were his feelings while he was alone and waiting for your return?

I guess my point here is that there are ways in which you can simulate giving him many of the fantasies he loves without either of you having to do anything you really don't want to do. If you can use your imagination, you should be able to come up with other ways of making his fantasies come true (at least in part).

The emotional well being of my husband (slave, sub, partner, etc.) is extremely important. There is no better way to ruin a relationship than to inflict emotional damage, whether intended or not. So please, be careful what you do. Remember, in placing control of the sexual aspect (and possibly other aspects) of his life in your hands, he has entrusted you with a very valuable gift. Don't abuse it!

Mistress Ivey

Another Lesson in Teasing

My slave, nemo, recently posted three photos of women with very different body styles. Along with each photo was a statement of how each would treat a male sub. Along with the post a poll was posted asking men to choose which woman they would prefer as a key holder. The results were not at all surprising. (Click here to view it.)

It is obvious that what a chaste man wants has nothing to do with a woman's body style, or her overall beauty, but rather how she intends to treat him. More than 50% (more than double the next highest choice) of the men chose Woman #1 because of what she promised to do to them. Let's face it girls, the more you tease your man (sub, slave, chastity-boy) the more he will appreciate you. So... Here are the basics of what you should be doing in each and every tease session you give him, whether or not you deny his orgasm, the build up to that point is the same.

First of all, you should spend a little time getting to know the cock you intend to tease. (Name it if you like.) Take some time to study it. I mean get up close and personal with this thing you intend to use to bring such joy and torment to your man. Look it over very closely. Examine the head (glans) of his penis. Notice how it seems to form a little helmet. On the underside, where the corona (the ridge that extends around the penis) begins and ends (and where the foreskin is attached (if he has one). This is, by far, the most sensitive spot on his entire body. Rub this spot for few minutes and you can make him ejaculate.

Better Milking

I have read a great deal about prostate milking and I have tried to apply what I have learned. Well, I have a couple of tips for those you who would like to (or do) practice prostate milking. If you are currently milking your partner through prostate massage, but you are not actually getting much (quantity wise) from him, I have a couple of tricks for you.

If you already get plenty of cum from your partner when you massage his prostate, it may be that you are actually using one or both of the tricks I am going to tell about without even knowing it. You see, massaging the prostate (as a doctor would) does not normally produce more that a few drops of liquid. That's because the prostate does not contain all the stuff you find in a normal ejaculation. If your partner has had a vasectomy, he will produce a smaller amount of ejaculate anyway because there are no spermies in it. But there are two other places that contribute to the quantity of fluid in a normal ejaculation.

Of course, you already know about the prostate. It supplies a small amount and the older your partner is, the longer it takes for him to produce more prostate fluid. However, the seminal vesicles (located just behind the prostate) produce a larger amount of fluid than the prostate itself. This fluid seems to act as a sperm plug designed to help block another man's sperm from getting to the egg.

If you have long fingers and can reach just beyond the prostate, you can massage these vesicles which will produce more fluid than the prostate alone. If your have short (or normal length) fingers, you may have difficulty reaching the vesicles. In that case, try using a slim vibrator or even a P-spot toy such as an Aneros style prostate massage aid to help you reach them. (Here is the one I use.)

Still, there is an even better way. If you spend some time getting your partner aroused, ready to cum, then switch to a prostate massage, you can get as much fluid as a regular ejaculation would produce, but without the thrill of a full orgasm. When a man gets excited enough, his body prepares for an ejaculation by sending everything “up front” so to speak. If you stop arousing him, or at least stop manipulating his cock, before he gets to the point of orgasm, you have everything right where you want it. Try switching to a prostate massage at this point, and you will get all the combined fluids. It's like the ultimate ruined orgasm. A full load, with none of the fun (for him).

Sometimes it can help to physically milk his cock once the prostate massage does it's work. That is, once you begin getting fluid while massaging his prostate, use your hand to stroke from the base of his cock to the tip (much like you would milk a cow). DO NOT stroke in both directions, as this can cause a normal orgasm. By going in only one direction, you prevent a normal ejaculation while milking the urethra of everything in it.

Now, if all you have been getting is a tiny amount and you make him swallow it, think how surprised he will be tonight when you give a good deal more to swallow!

Mistress Ivey

Anal Techniques

One of the many things I like to do to my hubby/slave is to insert a plug in his anus before taking him out to run some errands. I know there are a few of you like to do the same. I get such a thrill knowing how uncomfortable and selfconscious he gets whenever I do this. However, many of the letters I get from readers tell me they have difficulty either inserting butt-plugs (or dildos for that matter). So maybe I can make things a little easier with this post.

First of all, an anus is NOT a vagina. It does NOT generate its own lubrication. Therefore, when preparing to insert anything into it, you MUST lubricate it yourself. I have heard it said many times, that when lubricating an anus, when you think you have put on enough lubricant, double it. I don't know if really true or not, but I do this: you need LOTS of lubrication! You not only need to lubricate inside and outside the hole, but you need to put lubrication on whatever it is you are planning to push in there.

If your partner is not used to anal sex or having anything shoved in his ass, then you need to start small and work your way up to the larger items. Many online toy stores sell sets of anal plugs often called anal training sets. I strongly recommend that you start small and gradually move to larger items as your partner gets used to them. Starting small just makes sense.

You should also NOT try to push the entire item in suddenly. Take it slow. You want to ease it in, not ram it in. Now in the case of a strap-on dildo that is fairly smooth and straight, you can begin a slow in and out motion, eventually ending up with you ramming it in. But that's only after a slow, gentle initial entrance. Slow is good.

I have a tip on making it easier to insert whatever item you are trying to insert in the anus as well. Often times, what makes insertion difficult is the sub's inability to relax. Let's face it, it he keeps clenching, there's no way you're ever going to get anything in without a great deal of pain. However, if you make him place his toes together and his heels apart, then bend him over a table or counter, then you will have no problem inserting a properly sized item such as a butt-plug or small dildo. Why? Because in this position it is not possible to clench the anus muscles. That's why doctors use that position for rectal exams.

So in conclusion, simply remember to lubricate well, start small, go slow and make him “assume the position” before you full him up.

Mistress Ivey

Contracts

I get a lot of questions concerning things like: “How do I know what I can and can't do to my sub?” and; “How can I tell my Mistress what I like and don't like without topping from the bottom?” These are very legitimate questions and they deserve straight forward answers. The problem is, the answers are are not so simple. Everyone is different and their desires, likes, dislikes, tolerances, and limits are all different. But there is an easy way to get the guidance you need without any topping from the bottom or taking the fun out of the whole experience.

What you need to guide you safely through your experience is a contract. Why? Because a contract, though not legally binding, will help you establish rules, protocols, and a way to keep things from getting out of control. A contract can be an excellent guide for the Mistress (or KH, or whatever you are called) as well as for the sub, hubby, chaste, or teasee.

To Chastise or Not to Chastise

That is so often the question facing couples who engage in a female led relationship (FLR). But the answer is much simpler than it sounds. I created this blog for those women who have little (or no) experience with sexually controlling their man. Even though a chastity device can be a great way to accomplish that, it may not be desirable, or even necessary.

Male chastity has become a very popular 'kink' these days. You can now purchase a chastity device at your local sex store, not to mention every sex toy store on line. But just because it is popular is no reason to jump on the band wagon. There are as many reasons to use a chastity device as there reasons not to.

Perhaps your partner feels too uncomfortable. Maybe the device you have chosen does not really fit as well as either of you would like. Of course, you could have one custom made, but even then, you may have problems. Let's face it, male chastity (in its popular form) is a fairly recent addition to the kink scene.