Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Giving Thanks

Sitting on my bed this morning, as I often do, trying to decide whether to write a blog post or another chapter in my latest book, I wonder what my life would have been like if I had not met the man I now call husband.

My childhood was spent being beaten with belts, drop cords, and wire coat-hangers. I gave birth to my first child while his father was in prison and I lived on the streets. I gave him up for adoption, because I wanted a better life for him than I felt I could give him.

I took up with another man. Another child was born. The beatings continued.

Several years later, after moving in with that man, who would not marry me, but who had fathered my second child, the beatings changed. They were not eliminated, merely changed to fists. I thought this was not only my lot in life, but something I deserved. I didn't know why, but I must deserve it.

A third child was born. The beatings continued and even included my second son. I met a man online who had a kind heart and loving manor about him. He guided me toward a website for battered woman. There, I learned what it did to the children of those women. I wanted to break the cycle, but how?

This kind man, whom I had met online, showed me a way out. A way to get myself and my children free from the tyranny of the man with whom I lived. The man who controlled everything I did, everything I thought.

When the moment arrived, the moment I had made up my mind to leave, I could find nowhere to go. This man on the Internet, bought me bus tickets to his home. My baby of only 22 months jumped into the arms of this man the moment we stepped off the bus. He had never gone to any other person without screaming and fighting to get back to me. But something told me, this man was different. This man would never hurt me or my children. I would never have to live in fear again.

I am telling you this for a reason. I know there are some out there who have either been in my position, or know someone who is. I urge you! Do not allow it to continue. No one needs to live in fear or be beaten by anyone. Help yourself, or anyone you know who is living in an abusive relationship. If nothing else, get them to a women's shelter! It only took one man to save my life and the lives of my children. You can be that man for someone else.

Oh, after sixteen years of marriage, I am still with that man. He has NEVER hit me or my children, nor has he abused us in any way. I consider myself lucking. But it wasn't luck at all. It was kindness. The kindness of others that can save you (or someone you know) as well.

Give someone a reason to give thanks.

Mistress Ivey


  1. ...You wrote this well too!

  2. Wishing you and that man Happy Thanksgiving.

  3. What a great thing to be thankful for. You are so right about being kind.

  4. RIP, Ms. Ivey.
    Your life had a difficult start and a too early end, but I hope you've found the happiness you were looking for and now your peace in God.