Monday, November 24, 2014


I have spent a great deal of time writing about all different aspects of tease and denial of your guy's cock. I have given you many reasons to try it. What I have not talked about in this blog, is a VERY important thing... Your attitude!

You can always tease a man's cock successfully, just about any time you want. You can even do it when you are angry with him. But if you really want him to enjoy it, you need to have the right attitude. If you don't, it doesn't matter how you tease him, how often you tease him, or even where you tease him, he will not enjoy it as much as he should.

So, what is the right attitude? Simply put, you must enjoy what you are doing. It sounds simple, but in order to convey your pleasure (your attitude) you must make your partner understand just how much you enjoy teasing him. That means that you are going to have to talk with him (or at him) in a sexual way. That's where all those other things I have taught you come in.

You can talk to him about a fantasy that he has, or simply about how much you like making him squirm. It really doesn't matter as long as you keep his attention on sex. You should do your best to occupy his mind with thoughts of sexual activity. Whether it's about what you are doing to him at the moment, or something you think he would be humiliated doing in the future. Talk about how good it would feel to him to put his cock inside you. Talk about how you love making him beg to cum. Talk about how much you would love to make a video of him being teased by another woman.

The subject matter can be varied as much as your imagination allows, as long as you enjoy what you are doing and he knows it. If you have a good time, so will he, even when you deny his orgasm. But if you go into any sexual encounter with a bad attitude, you will not only not enjoy what you are doing, but neither will your partner.

Remember, in this type of relationship, sex is totally under your control. So why would you ever have a bad attitude? If you want him to please you, make him do it. If you want to edge him ten or twenty times without allowing him an orgasm, do it. If you want him to masturbate for you because you are just too tired to tease him yourself, do it. Just be sure that he always knows that whatever you (or he) are doing, you are enjoying yourself. After all, if he were to simply masturbate to porn on the internet, he will imagine that the woman on the screen is enjoying it.

Let's be honest about this. What makes the women in the the photos and videos on the internet so erotic? They seem to enjoy sex. It's the same thing that makes a hooker good at what she does. She makes her John happy by acting as if she enjoys what she is doing as much as he does. It's no big secret. It's human nature.

Basically, if you have a good attitude toward your sexual activity, he will enjoy it that much more. So make it a point never to engage in sex when you just can't have a good attitude and you will find that you both enjoy it all much, much more!

Mistress Ivey

Thursday, November 20, 2014


When it comes to the philosophy of a Female Led Relationship, one must surely realize that we are generally talking about a marriage, as opposed to a work relationship.
So what brings me to this point? I read a book by another author, who shall remain nameless, today. Some folks would look at her work compared to mine and think we are living in two different worlds. The truth is, we are not. In fact, we agree on more things than you might think. The difference, as I see it, is that we are not talking about the same thing.
If you were discussing the rotational effects of the moon on the Earth with a friend, and someone else started saying that, according to so-and-so, you were wrong. Wouldn't you be curious what “so-and-so” said about the subject? But what if you tell your friend that “so-and-s0” wasn't talking about the moon, but rather the Sun? After all, it is a whole different subject.
Okay, in my writing, both here and in my books, I talk about women being in charge of their men, their families, in a female led relationship. But this other author (who I am not naming) does not talk about that kind relationship. Instead, she talks about a non-consensual type of relationship which is a totally different animal. It is my philosophy that there must be harmony in a marriage. And that means “give and take” on both sides.
When someone compares my methods with those of other authors, I appreciate it, if they didn't try to compare apples and oranges. For example, in a non-consensual relationship, the slave (or sub) has given up all rights to anything other than obedience. In a female led marriage, he has not. In fact, he is expected to be rewarded for good behavior, teased to help keep him in line, and given an orgasm once in awhile, especially if he is in chastity.
If you want to have a non-consensual slave to take care of your every need, by all means, go out and find one. But if you want your husband or lover to obey you, be prepared to hand out rewards for good behavior.
If you are going to talk about me, please understand the philosophy, and get it right.
Mistress Ivey

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Monday, November 17, 2014

B & B

I hear so many women tell me that they love keeping their partner in chastity, but don't go in for all that bondage stuff. When I ask them if they at least tie his hands when they remove his chastity device for teasing, most tell me they don't. When I ask if they blindfold him during tease sessions, again the answer is “no”. Shame on you Ladies!

There is a reason that I advocate the use of blindfolds and bondage when teasing your guy. Whether you remove his chastity device or not, your objective is (or at least should be) to get him as aroused as you possibly can. Isn't it? If you didn't answer “Yes” to that, you may as well skip this post. In fact, you may as well forget about tease and denial altogether. I mean, if you are going to do it, do it right.

A blindfold serves as an aid to increasing your partner's arousal because it forces him to use his imagination. His fantasies live in his imagination. Think about it. A blindfold can also eliminate the need for you to put on some kind of fantasy enhancing attire (sexy outfit) in order to tease him. If he can't see you, he will imagine you. In other words, you can be dressed in an old pair of jeans and T-shirt, but he will imagine the leather teddy, high-heeled boots, and whatever else he would like you to wear. You can even feed his imagination by describing to him what you want him to see.

As for the bondage part, again, you need to feed his imagination. By simply tying his hands so that he is unable to use them, he will feel more vulnerable. More vulnerable equals more aroused. Wait... Isn't that the point of all this? It doesn't matter that you are lousy at tying knots. It doesn't matter that if he really wanted to he could get loose. All that matters is that feeling of vulnerability, of having no control (because you have all the control), that will increase his arousal. You can bind his wrists behind his back, to the arms of a chair, to the headboard of your bed (or any bed), you can even tie them to the top of a door. It doesn't matter how you bind his hands as long as you do it.

I hope you get my point. Two simple items, a blindfold and piece of rope, can make your job so much easier. Why work at teasing your partner when there are so many things you can do to get him to new heights of arousal without making more work for you. Don't believe me? Try tying his hands to a chair while he is naked, then sit down and start reading a book (to yourself). Every now and then, ask him if he would like you to touch him. Or ask him to describe what he would like you to be wearing when you touch him. You'll see I'm right.

Have fun with teasing... It's supposed to be fun, NOT a chore!

Mistress Ivey

Thursday, November 13, 2014

On The Edge Pt-2

In the video above, you will see how this woman uses several techniques of stroking. The main one she uses is the “Up-Only” stroke. Notice how she starts at the base of his cock and lets her hand slide up (barely even touching him) and then returns to the bottom without sliding down. This is an interesting technique because, I have discovered, many men can't get what they need to ejaculate... The “Down” stroke!

I have found, over the years, that by giving a guy only up-strokes, he seems to be able to hold the edge longer than if he gets a down-stroke along with it. If you think about it, it's like he is only “pulling out” and never “pushing in.” He needs to feel that push to help him over the edge. Since we don't want him going over the edge, this is a great stroke to use. You can pause at any time for however long you think you need to before continuing.

Another method of creating ruined orgasms is what I call the “Ball Tug” method. I don't have a video example for you, but there are some out there. What you do is take his balls in your hand and firmly tug them in a downward direction, never touching his cock at all. Though this method you can produce a full orgasm, it has been my experience that if you either let go at the right time, or squeeze his balls tightly at the last moment, his orgasm will be ruined. Of course, the object here is to stop BEFORE he gets that close.

It really doesn't matter what method you use as long as you stop and allow him a moment to rest before he reaches orgasm. The nice part is, no matter how early you stop, you have successfully teased him and did not push him over the edge. The really fun part of edging is the frustration you are causing your partner. Believe me, he will love it even if he doesn't really get that close to the edge. This is true tease and denial.

Mistress Ivey

Monday, November 10, 2014

On The Edge Pt-1

I have written about edging a little before, but I don't think I dedicated a whole post to that. So, for those of you who have been wanting more information specific to edging, here you go...

First of all, edging is nothing more than bringing your partner close to orgasm and stopping short of allowing him to actually ejaculate. How close you get him, and how many times you do it, will vary, but the methods are many and simple. It's like trying to ruin an orgasm and stopping too soon. That's edging!

It really doesn't matter exactly how close your partner is to ejaculation when you pause, or stop stimulating him, for a moment. The point is to NOT allow him to slip over the edge into an orgasm. Exactly how long you can stimulate him depends on several factors. The first is, how sensitive to stimulation he is. The second would be exactly what you are doing to stimulate him. And the third factor would be how much stimulation you are giving him. But the key to good edging is stopping all stimulation BEFORE it's too late.

Once you start to stimulate him, you can stop and allow him to rest for a few seconds to a minute or even more. As long as he does not ejaculate, you may then resume your stimulation of his cock. Now let's take a look at some of the most popular methods of stimulation (as if we need to).

The most commonly used method is to lubricate his cock (or your hand) really well with your favorite sex lube. Now, simply stroke his cock in whatever manner you prefer. Remember that you MUST stop before he ejaculates! I find it the most fun to use a slow, upward stroke. If you only stroke from the base to the tip of his cock, he will last longer (and so will your fun). I like to stop every few strokes, between five and ten strokes. If you are stroking both up and down, you might want to stop after only five or six strokes.

Short pauses will cause his desire and, therefore his proximity to orgasm, to increase. If you suspect that he is getting close to an orgasm, pause for a longer period, or do fewer or less stimulating strokes. You can, of course, continue to stimulate other parts of his body. Just not his cock or you will push him over the edge.

Another method of teasing his cock for edging is by touching it with only one or, possibly, two fingers at a time. This can be very frustrating. That's a good thing. Though, you might want to do some full stroking with your whole hand to get him warmed up. Use a very light touch and he will certainly last longer. I know that many of you, for whatever reason, don't want to spend a great deal of time doing this, but if you really get into his frustration and learn to enjoy it (not to mention the control you have over him at this point), you can have so much fun with edging.

Mistress Ivey

Thursday, November 6, 2014

Stifled Orgasms (Pt 2)

This is one subject I have not spent a great deal of time talking about. I guess that's because they are so easy to accomplish. But I have recently been asked what good a stifled orgasm is if the recipient still gets all “grumpy” afterwards. I have said that stifled orgasms are more like full orgasms than ruined orgasms. I stick by my assessment.

With a ruined orgasm, there is no drop, either physical or emotional, in the sexual arousal of the recipient. That is to say, he still wants sex and he can easily cum again. After all, none of the hormones or endorphins that accompany a full orgasm are released. However, they are released when an orgasm is stifled. That means, there will be a drop in sexual desire. The poor guy will go through all the same symptoms he would have had he been allowed to have a full orgasm. I have been told that the after effects don't usually last as long. At least in some men.

I am not a big fan of stifled orgasms except for their possible use as a punishment. Yes, a stifled orgasm can be a punishment. When the body goes through the normal ejaculation cycle, there is a great deal of pressure behind the ejaculation. When you stifle his orgasm, you are holding back his normal ejaculation, and all that pressure produced forces the semen into whatever area is available. Normally, it will back up into the bladder. While it is not in the least bit harmful, it can cause a certain amount of pain. Often twice. Once when the body is attempting to expel his ejaculate, and again when you release your grip on whatever part of his penis you used to stifle the orgasm. Of course, the pain associated with your release of his penis is not as intense as the initial backup, it is still a little bit painful. Or, I should say, can be. This doesn't happen to everyone, nor does it happen every time. It all depends on how long you maintain your grip.

Either way, the initial backup does, quite often, cause a certain amount of pain, and this is why I use it as a punishment. Personally, I love ruining an orgasm more than just about anything else. The expression on his face as he tries to produce a full orgasm when the stimulation is gone is priceless! The fact that he is still aroused and doesn't want to stop is key to keeping him in a “ready to serve” state.

Just for the record, if you intend on giving your man a stifled orgasm, its effectiveness is directly proportional to the length of time you hold it back. That is, the longer you maintain your grip, preventing any ejaculate from escaping, the more effective it is. If you release him too soon, because the pressure still remains, his semen may shoot out one time and dribble the rest. But if you hold him long enough, it will all dribble out. So it depends on you as to how long you want to hold him back. Sometimes it is fun to watch that first “blast” of semen come shooting out, knowing that he is not getting any enjoyment from it. But other times, you just want to watch his face when you finally release his penis and his cum just dribbles out.

So, yes, a stifled orgasm can be fun, just be careful of the after effects. Remember, he will experience a drop in arousal and desire for sexual activity if you stifle his orgasm. I think it is well worth the trouble to learn how to ruin his orgasms. Besides, it's fun practicing!

Mistress Ivey