Thursday, October 23, 2014

Get Into It

After years of talking with folks, researching, and writing, I still hear the same old complaints. Men complain that their wives don't give them enough sex (teasing, etc.) and the woman complain that their guy thinks it's all about sex. Well, they are both right (in a manner of speaking).

While I am a firm believer that, for men, sex is one of the most important things in life. I also believe that they will always want more than they get. It's a fact of life. It's the way they were designed. I talked about this in all of my books. Men are, by design, sexually oriented beings. They will, if given the chance, beg, plead, hound, and cajole you to death to get more sex. That's why a woman must learn how to control all that.

Women, on the other hand, don't normally want sex nearly as often as men. Not, that is, until they discover how much fun they can have controlling a man with it. Before I discovered my “inner Mistress,” I hated the fact that all men ever think about (it seemed) was sex. But once I learned how to use that to my own advantage, I couldn't get enough myself. Why? Because I discovered just how much fun it can be.

Ladies, if you are still at that point where you get tired of being hounded everyday for more and more sexual activity, then you have not yet figured out how to have fun with it. Think about it... Don't you just hate trying to find ways of telling your partner that you just don't want to do it right now? Don't you just wish you could do or say something that would make him stop begging all the time?

Try taking control. You don't have to give in to his desires. Instead of you having to take the time to get him all turned on (as if he weren't already) and then let him poke you for thirty seconds to relieve his desires, try something different. The next time he starts his routine “hint dropping” that he needs sex, take control. Tell him that he can have all the sex he wants if he will do exactly what you tell him to do.

Once he agrees, you tell him to strip and masturbate for you. If you don't want to watch, don't. Watch TV or knit something while he does all the work. If you really want to have fun, stop him before he cums and tell him that he tried hard enough and that you will give him another chance later (or tomorrow). It's called tease and denial. The better you get at it, the more fun you can have with in.

So, Ladies, get with the program. Tease the hell out of your partner and he will repay you ten times over with love and attention. It's a win-win situation.

Mistress Ivey

Sunday, October 19, 2014

Special Announcement

I need one special slave

I am in search of one special slave. This slave will NOT have to purchase tasks as all my other long-distance slaves do. He (or she) will be expected to obey my every command without question.

If you think you can measure up to my expectations, then you should send me an email with the Subject reading "One Slave". In the body of the email, tell me why you think I should choose you to be my special slave. What makes you unique? What makes you worthy?

Also include a brief story about what you think a typical day as my personal slave would be like. Yes, this is a fictional story. Do your best. I will select the applicant from the entries I receive in the next few weeks. So get your application in.

Send your email to:

Good Luck!

Mistress Ivey

Friday, October 17, 2014

Is Coercion Necessary?

What I mean by that is, does the average woman who wants to take control of her man need to coerce him? I guess that depends on the man. There have always been men who enjoyed being submissive to women. Professional Dominatrices have been around a long time. I have heard about men going to these women as far back as the Fifties, but I am sure it goes much further back than that. Mark Anthony for example. Here is a solder, a leader of men who fell so madly in love with Cleopatra that he would have done anything for her.
It is my opinion, that if most (not all) wives were to bring up the subject in the proper manner, their husbands would jump at the opportunity to be submissive. I do know a few women, married to “Alpha” males who had to practically force their husbands into chastity for one reason or another. Most of them are living quite happily since making the change. And so are their husbands.
But, no. I don't think most women would need to coerce a man to become submissive and live a happy, healthy lifestyle in an female led (driven?) relationship. Even though I do teach women how to “take charge” and how to use corporal punishment and/or chastity as a means of controlling their husbands, in most of these cases it has been the husband who first brought the idea to the relationship.
The main reason why I come off sounding like someone who thinks all men should be paddled or shackled in chastity, is because, even those men who want this lifestyle, have difficulty letting go of the reins. They want their wives to dominate them, to take charge, but they can't help trying to tell them how to do everything. They can't help it. They were brought up in a world where men were expected to be in control of the family unit. Letting go and turning everything over to his wife, is not that easy for him.
I guess what I am trying to say is, if your guy wants this kind of life and you are willing to “give it a try,” then be prepared for him to “top from the bottom” as they say. He will still try to tell you that you shouldn't buy a red car because the police are more likely to stop you for speeding than they are if you are driving a green car. Whether that's true or not, you have to remind him that he doesn't make those decisions anymore. He wanted you to do that. If he can't seem to remember that, then you may need a paddle to remind him. That's all I am saying.
Reward good behavior... Punish bad behavior.

Mistress Ivey

Tuesday, October 14, 2014

Be Mean To Me

A common theme (or desire) among men who want to live in a Female Led Relationship is the desire for a woman to be “mean” to them. The question is, what is “mean?”

To most men, being mean to them has very different definitions. If you are in an FLR you need to know what your partner's definition is, whether you are a man or a woman. After all, don't you both want to be on the same page, so to speak?

To one man, “being mean” might mean ruining his orgasms, while another man's idea of “being mean” could be long periods in chastity. The fact is, it is a very personal thing and if you, as the one in charge, don't fully understand what your partner thinks is “being mean,” then you have no way of knowing if you are doing those things he really (perhaps secretly) wants you to do.

I have put a pole up for men to indicate what “being mean” means to them. Hopefully, the result will make us all wonder if we are doing the right things. It may be cause to sit down and discuss it thoroughly with our respective partners so that we can evaluate what we are doing and if we should, perhaps, change our approach somewhat.

Naturally, the only way to gain the knowledge needed is to communicate. Your partner may have difficulty talking about this. Perhaps he doesn't want to sound like he is dictating to you, or telling you what to do for him. If your partner has difficulty talking with you about this subject try ordering him to put his deepest desires in writing (perhaps an email or a journal entry) so that you can read it in privacy. He should also understand that there will be no repercussions for anything he writes or says during your discussion.

Take the time to learn all you can. It can only help your relationship.

Mistress Ivey

Saturday, October 11, 2014

Teasing a Cock (Pt-2)

Recently I wrote a post about teasing your guy's cock with or without his chastity cage in place. This time I will cover some fun things you can do while his cage is off.
First of all, I always recommend that at least his hands be bound whenever his cage is removed. This to insure that he doesn't touch himself or try to stop you from doing what you want to do. A blindfold is also a good idea, just so he can't watch you, so he won't know what you are planning.
Now that you have him blind and secured to the bed, a chair, or a support post in your dungeon (basement?), gather all the items you will need. The reason for not setting everything up prior to the blindfold is so he won't know what is coming and his anticipation will build as you move around gathering items you need. Yes, I am very conscious of things like that.
Now, let's get started... In addition to all the things I mentioned in my last post on the subject, you can do any or all of the following:
  • Edge him as many times as you like. Simply stimulate him for awhile and then stop before he gets too close to orgasm.
  • Put some clothespins or other type of clips on his balls or even the underside of his cock.
  • Tie a string around his cock and balls. Make it as long as you want and you can get as creative as you want in how you tie it all up. Don't forget to tease his cock using any method mentioned in my first blog on the subject.
  • Poke his cock and balls with a sharp instrument.
  • Wrap duct tape around his cock and balls. The fun is in removing it.
  • Shave his entire pubic area. There is nothing so beautiful (or humiliating) as a clean shaven cock and balls.
  • Suck it (briefly).
  • Sit on it and slide back and forth.
  • Ride it. That's always fun.
  • Stroke it very gently using lots of lubrication and a rubber glove.
  • Put Icy-Hot (or another mentholated cream) on his cock and/or anus and blow on it.
  • Finally, and most importantly, don't let him cum. Or better yet, ruin his orgasm.
I hope this list will give you some ideas of your own. Please, tell us about them by leaving a comment.
Mistress Ivey

Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Teasing a Cock (Pt-1)

OMG! Where do I begin? There are so many ways to tease a cock that it boggles the mind. If the guy is in chastity, you have to decide whether or not to remove his chastity device. Here are a few ideas that will work if you want to practice a little tease and denial on your guy.
First of all, you should decide whether you want to remove his chastity device or not. Assuming the device fits tight enough, he should experience a certain amount of pain any time he gets aroused. So the real question is, do you want him to be in pain, or do you only want to give him pleasure? If you choose to remove the chastity device, remember that you must bind his hands so that he cannot touch himself or interfere with anything you want to do. Binding his hands is a good idea even if you don't remove his chastity device.
Alright, let's begin with a few cock teasing methods that can be done with or without the chastity device in place. Since most chastity devices leave the balls exposed, and often have small openings in the cage itself, you will be able to tease his genitals with a modicum of success. Don't forget his feet, neck, nipples and anus (if accessible). These are often very sensitive parts of the body and will certainly bring about a certain amount of arousal whether caged or not.
I always recommend the use of a blindfold of some sort. That way you don't have to dress the part to get him all worked up. You can wear your favorite flannel Pjs or a pair of jeans and your best ratty T-shirt. Remember, you don't have to look like those women on the Internet, just make him think you do.
  • As I mentioned in my post entitled “Hose Him” you can always use a fresh stocking. To do this, you simply drag the stocking across various parts of his body, including of course, his penis and balls.
  • Poke him gently with a toothpick or kabob skewer. You obtain wooden skewers at most grocery stores pretty cheaply. Again, don't just concentrate on his genitals. There are many other parts of his body that will respond positively to this type of activity.
  • Ice cubes work wonderfully! Rub them all over his body until they melt away, or put them in a small plastic bag and save the wet mess. If you plan well, you can place a large towel (or two) under your partner before doing this and you won't get your bed sheets wet (assuming you are doing this on the bed). Of course you tie him to a straight-back chair or even one of those metal folding chairs if you like.
  • You can drip candle wax on various parts of his body. You should only use special candles made for this purpose or use “utility”candles you find in most convenience or grocery stores. Please don't use regular or scented candles! They burn much hotter than plain paraffin candles. Always hold the candle at least 18 inches above his body unless he tells you that he can handle it closer.
  • You can use a feather of any kind. However, ostrich feathers are very good for this and you can obtain them from many craft shops or on-line.
These are just a few ideas to get you started. I'll write another blog on the subject at a later date to give you even more ideas. Of course, a light touch of your fingers is always a great way to tease his cock, or any other part of his body. And the best things is, they are always available.
Mistress Ivey