Thursday, April 24, 2014

The Big Day!

We did it! Sometime tomorrow (Friday, April 25th, 2014) this blog will reach the 2,000,000 mark (watch the counter in the right column). That doesn't mean that two-million of you have viewed my website, it means that you have viewed two-million pages over the past two and one half years. I consider this quite an achievement. I could never have done it without YOUR support!

Thank you, all of you, for giving me the love and support I needed to continue writing this blog, not to mention my books. If it weren't for my readers, I would not have been able to continue my writing. Every author needs to know that what he or she writes is appreciated. You have shown your appreciation for me and my writing through your comments, questions and purchases of my books.

So... Thank you once again.

Mistress Ivey

Wednesday, April 16, 2014

Research

I am constantly doing research. I think it's important if I am going to give you good information. My research is not “scientific” as so many people tell me, but rather it is practical research. By that, I mean, it is real world research. Letters I receive, comments made on this (and other) blogs, questions I am asked, all are a part of my research. As I said, it may not be “scientific,” but it is practical.

Right now I am doing some research about the part that humiliation plays in a male chastity relationship. What I am finding out is no surprise, to me anyway. In the right column I have posted a poll for men. Please look it over and answer the question. No one will know who you are, not even me, but the information will be invaluable for my next book.
 
Thank you for your help.
 
Mistress Ivey




Monday, April 7, 2014

Using His Fantasies

Quick! What's your partner's favorite fantasy? Don't know? Unsure? Well you should know!

If your partner is male, odds are his fantasies change. They evolve. Everyday your partner has a chance to fantasize, he will add something new to his fantasies. That means you have to stay on top of things. Here are a few tips on how and why you want to do that...

  1. You want to use his fantasies to enhance his daily state of arousal. Why? Because the more aroused he is, the better he will serve and obey you.
  2. Have him tell you a fantasy while you are teasing him. He doesn't have to go into minute details, but the more detail the better.
  3. Try dressing the part once in awhile. You don't have to do it every day, but each time you do it, he will get very aroused and he will want to serve you even more.
  4. Tell him one of his fantasies using yourself as the main Dominant. It doesn't have to be exactly what he would say, it just has to incorporate many of the same visuals.
  5. Tell him ANYTHING that would be arousing, humiliating, or down right embarrassing to him. Even if it something neither of you would ever do.

Fantasy is the fastest way to get into his head. Getting into his head is the fasted way to get him aroused. For example, neither of you may actually want to bring another person into your sexual encounters, but telling him a fantasy that includes such things can make him extremely aroused. That is your main objective. Isn't it? Tell him you are thinking of adding another woman to help you tease his cock or use a strap-on on him. Tell him you are thinking of inviting some guy from work (or his friend) to join you so that you can use them both in a bi-sexual way.

It really doesn't matter what kinds of things you add to your story, and you don't have to give details while relating this fantasy. All you have to do is plant the seeds and his imagination will do the rest. Have fun with it. Oh, and when he asks you later if you would really do those things, just tell him that you might, if you decide you really want to. After all, it is your decision. That will keep his imagination working overtime.

Mistress Ivey

Tuesday, April 1, 2014

Again With The P.O.T

Here again I find myself repeating what I have said before. At least in part. I have to admit, it's about time I posted something new on Post Orgasm Torture (or Torment if you prefer).

For those of you who have never read the original post, let me explain exactly what P.O.T. is. Post Orgasm Torture is the art of giving your guy more pleasure than he can stand at any one time. When a man has an orgasm, the tip (head) of this penis gets super sensitive for a short while. By stimulating, that is, rubbing the palm of your hand rapidly over this area, you will cause him extreme pleasure. But... it's much like extreme tickling.
Some people love being tickled until they can't stand it, others don't. Well, continuing to rub the tip of his penis will (in most cases) give him more pleasure than he can stand. Warning: he may get quite violent in his attempt to stop you! So I highly recommend securing his hands as best you can before you do this.
Some men will complain that P.O.T. is painful. It may seem that way to them because the receptors in the brain that sense pleasure also sense pain. They can be fooled into misinterpreting the signal they are getting. This is the reason that, in BDSM circles, pleasure is given before pain. That way, the receptors are fooled into thinking the pain is actually pleasurable.
There are other means of giving P.O.T., but rubbing with your palm is the easiest since your partner will be squirming quite a lot. I suggest holding the shaft of his penis with one hand while rubbing the tip with the other. You MUST do this immediately after orgasm or it won't work. And, be aware, that it only lasts for a short time. Continuing after the pleasure goes away will only serve to make penis head sore. Make sure you have plenty of lubrication (his own ejaculate serves this purpose well) so that you are not rubbing dry skin.
One final warning... He may get violent in his attempts to stop you from doing this. I can't impress this upon you any more. This is what makes it so much fun for you. The first time you try it, you will see what I mean. I hope, after that, you will make sure he is securely bound so that he cannot harm himself or you.



Mistress Ivey


Thursday, March 20, 2014

Physical & Psychological Teasing

I use the term “Teasing” your partner a great deal. I use the term interchangeably to mean any type of teasing. Basically, there are two types of teasing: 1) The physical teasing most people think of in which you fondle, stroke, or whatever you do, to get his penis hard and/or close to orgasm; And: 2) Psychological teasing in which you use your words to excite or even humiliate your partner in order to arouse him sexually.

Whether you use physical or psychological teasing makes no difference if the result is the same... A sexually aroused man who will do anything for the “promise” of an orgasm. There are times when you are alone, or in semi-private surroundings, and you want to touch and fondle him in order to get and/or keep him aroused. And then there are times when you cannot do that. That is when you need to use psychological teasing. It helps considerably to know his many fantasies. Why? Because that's what psychological teasing is all about.

Have him write down a few fantasies for you, or at least have him direct you to his favorite stories on-line to give you an idea of what his fantasies are. Fantasies, and sexual desires, change over time. So don't read his fantasies once and think you are done. You should have him write (or direct you to) his fantasies at least once a month.

Now that you know what turns him on, use it. If you have read any of the captioned photos you can find on-line, then you have ammunition to use in your psychological teasing. For example, he put you in charge. He wanted you to have complete control. So, telling him that you may not allow him to cum any time this year is just a means to scare him a bit. It's like riding a roller coaster, yes, it's scary, but isn't that why we ride them? Well chastity is the same thing. He wants you to scare him a bit now and then. Or humiliate him. So use your imagination and tease him in any way you can. You will both reap the benefits!

Mistress Ivey

Sunday, March 9, 2014

What is a Stifled Orgasm?

This is one subject I have not spent a great deal of time talking about. I guess that's because they are so easy to accomplish. But I have recently been asked what good a stifled orgasm is if the recipient still gets all “grumpy” afterwards. I have said that stifled orgasms are more like full orgasms than ruined orgasms. I stick by my assessment.

With a ruined orgasm, there is no drop, either physical or emotional, in the sexual arousal of the recipient. That is to say, he still wants sex and he can easily cum again. After all, none of the hormones or endorphins that accompany a full orgasm are released. However, they are released when an orgasm is stifled. That means, there will be a drop in sexual desire. The poor guy will go through all the same symptoms he would have had had he been allowed to have a full orgasm.

I am not a big fan of stifled orgasms except for their possible use as a punishment. Yes, a stifled orgasm can be a punishment. When the body goes through the normal ejaculation cycle, there is a great deal of pressure behind the ejaculation. When you stifle his orgasm, you are holding back his normal ejaculation, and all that pressure produced forces the semen into whatever area is available. Normally, it will back up into the bladder. While it is not in the least harmful, it does cause a certain amount of pain. Often twice. Once when the body is attempting to expel his ejaculate, and again when you release your grip on whatever part of his penis you used to stifle the orgasm. Of course, the pain associated with your release of his penis is not as intense as the initial backup, it is still a little bit painful. Or, I should say, can be. This doesn't happen to everyone, nor does it happen every time. It all depends on how long you maintain your grip.

Either way, the initial backup does, quite often, cause a certain amount of pain, and this is why I use it as a punishment. Personally, I love ruining an orgasm more than just about anything else. The expression on his face as he tries to produce a full orgasm when the stimulation is gone is priceless! The fact that he is still aroused and doesn't want to stop is key to keeping him in a “ready to serve” state.

Just for the record, if you intend on giving your man a stifled orgasm, its effectiveness is directly proportional to the length of time you hold it back. That is, the longer you maintain your grip, preventing any ejaculate from escaping, the more effective it is. If you release him too soon, because the pressure still remains, his semen may shoot out one time and dribble the rest. But if you hold him long enough, it will all dribble out. So it depends on you as to how long you want to hold him back. Sometimes it is fun to watch that first “blast” of semen come shooting out, knowing that he is not getting any enjoyment from it. But other times, you just want to watch his face when you finally release his penis and his cum just dribbles out.

So, yes, a stifled orgasm can be fun, just be careful of the after effects. Remember, he will experience a drop in arousal and desire for sexual activity if you stifle his orgasm. I think it is well worth the trouble to learn how to ruin his orgasms. Besides, it's fun practicing!

Mistress Ivey

Thursday, February 20, 2014

What's It All About... Alfie?

One of the things I keep hearing from men and women alike is just wrong. The question is, who is this stuff all about? One philosophy says, “It's all about the woman what she wants.” Another philosophy says, “No, it's really all about what the man wants.” But quite frankly, they are BOTH WRONG!!!

Whether you are into male chastity, a female led relationship, tease and denial, or something else altogether, the correct answer to that question is, “It's about revitalizing your sexual relationship in order to rejuvenate your over all relationship in order to live a happier, healthier life together.” Key word being “Together.”

Men tell me that all they want is to make their partner happier and to serve them. But let's be honest, more sex is one of the main goals for a man. I don't know of one man who doesn't wish for that when they enter into male chastity, an FLR , or simply a tease and denial type of relationship. It may or may not be a conscious thing, but it is definitely important.

For women, once they are convinced by their partner to enter into one of these types of relationships, it is about pleasing him. Doing what he wants and not so much about themselves. I have often told women to forget about what he wants, and do what you want. Of course, I am speaking sexually here. If the female in the relationship will actually do more sexually, even if only doing things she wants to do, the relationship will get better.

So to sum it all up, Ladies, instead of worrying about what your guy wants you to do to him, start by doing more of what you like. Whether that consists of receiving more oral, watching him perform for you, or doing things to him that you enjoy, makes no difference. Once you are enjoying sex more (because you are doing what you like) then go and do some research and find out what other things you can do (or try) that might be fun for you. I have said it before and I will say it again, if it's fun for you, then he will be happier because you will enjoy engaging in sexual activity more often.

Definition: “Sexual activity” does not mean sexual intercourse. Well, not strictly. Anything you do of a sexual nature, is considered sexual activity.

So don't knock yourself out trying to please him. Please yourself and everything will work out fine. Don't try to be the “Mistress” he has always dreamed about, chances are, you'll never live up to that image. Instead, be yourself. If he wants you to be “meaner” (translate as “more strict”) then you can do that. But you should develop your own style of behavior. If you don't want to wear a leather teddy and thigh-high boots, then don't. It's up to you. YOU are in control. Just be yourself!

Mistress Ivey