Tuesday, March 3, 2015

New Life

I had an interesting question posed to me recently. What can you do when the relationship is getting (for lack of a better word) stale? In spite of the fact that you are both doing all those things that you originally agreed to do for each other, one (or both) of you are getting a bit bored. It happens in any relationship, FLR or not.

When something like this happens to me, I turn to the Internet for ideas. First I talk with my partner about it and suggest he do the same. We both, though independently, look for something we have not tried before. Now, you might think that I am going to tell you that we (or you should) talk about the things you discover that interest you. Nope! What we do is try some of those things out without discussing them (assuming it can be done that way) and then talk about how we both felt afterwords.

If my husband comes up with something that requires me to do something different, of course, he can't do it without discussing it first. What he does then is to relate a fantasy about the particular activity. If I am the one who found something new, I will normally try it out just to surprise him.

Every one is different, so you will have to work things out your own way, but my first suggestion for when things start to get a bit stale is to turn to fantasy. Read stories, write stories, broaden your mind with what you can find out there.

All too often we get stuck (even on the Internet) with what we have, and we don't look for anything new and different. That is, we find things that have worked for us in the past, and never go back to Bing or Google to see what there might be that's new.

Like I said, do some research. Read other people's fantasies. See if you can't get something going in your own head, then present it to your partner and see if you are both interested. Who knows what lies around the next bend? All you can do is look for it. Reading always inspires me. It gets my brain to work a little overtime. Perhaps it will do the same for you.

Maybe you will find a way to pump new life into your daily grind...

Mistress Ivey

Tuesday, February 24, 2015

#1 Complaint (Pt-3)

Okay, I have spoken to the men. Now it's time you women paid attention. Your job, as the head of the house, is NOT to do your husband's bidding! It is to keep things running smoothly and to make sure your partner is doing his part. How do you do that? I have two words for you: Reward, and Discipline!
If you do not reward your partner for his good behavior, he will begin to get lax in his duties. If you don't punish him when he fails to please you, or do what you want, then YOU are to blame when things fall apart.
Yes, if your partner does everything you ask, but you begin to expect this without any kind of reward, then you are fooling yourself. He will become lax in his duties and will not be as attentive and loving as you would like. So, take a few minutes, every day, to praise him for what he does for you. Give him a little “physical” encouragement. That's what he wants and understands.
When your husband (boyfriend, girlfriend, lover, or what have you) is doing what you expect and want him to do, then you should reward him with some kind of physical or auditory pleasure. Reach into his pants and fondle him for a minute. Whisper something sexual to turn him on, or allow him to fondle your breasts for a minute. Do SOMETHING to reward him. If he has been good all week, tie him to the bed and tease his cock for twenty or thirty minutes. Or anything else you can think of that you know he will enjoy.
Now what if he didn't wash the car this morning like you asked? Just as rewarding good behavior is important, so is discipline! If he fails to please you, complains about the way you run things, or even about not getting enough sex, PUNISH HIM!
You can use many different kinds of punishments or disciplines. Having him make the bed ten or fifteen times in a row, is a great discipline if he fails to do it,or does it poorly. Bending him over your knee and using a hairbrush to make him cry is an excellent way to stop his complaining. Don't be afraid to use any kind of punishment that works.
After all, wouldn't you expect to punish your children for misbehavior? Then why don't you treat your partner the same way? Sure, the punishments may be more harsh for your partner than for your kids, but the outcome will be the same; A well behaved husband.
Mistress Ivey

Tuesday, February 17, 2015

#1 Complaint (Pt-2)

When you are not the one in charge, how do you change things? How do get more of what you want without complaining?
First of all, you have to give up trying to force your partner to do what YOU want. It will NEVER work! When you were in charge, you didn't like being told that you were not doing things right. Now did you? So why on Earth would think that would work with her?
What you should be doing is giving her lots of praise every time she does something you enjoy. Thank her for EVERYTHING she does. If she makes you wash the dishes by hand, even though you have a dishwasher, thank her. If she denies you the opportunity to have an orgasm, thank her. Show her just how much you really appreciate everything she does for you, and you will get a lot more back from her.
Stop complaining about what she does not do, and thank her for what she DOES do. As the old adage says, “you will catch more flies with honey, than with vinegar.” When was the last time you thanked her for locking you in chastity so that you can't masturbate? Think about it. The more you praise her, the more you do FOR her, the more she will want to do for you.
If you want her to try something new, something you have never done before, you need to let her know. But if you make it sound like a complaint, or like she “has” to do it, the less likely you are to get the result you want. So be subtle! Write her a fantasy. Send her a letter with your fantasy in it.
Do something romantic. When was the last time you bought her flowers? Took her out to dinner? Or to a movie? What have you done for her, lately? Perhaps, before you complain about anything, you should examine your side of the relationship. Make sure you are doing ALL you can to please her, to make her happy.
After all, a happy wife makes for a happy family!
Mistress Ivey

Tuesday, February 10, 2015

#1 Complaint (Pt-1)

During the average week I get literally hundreds of emails from all over the world. I do my best to keep up with it all, and answer every one I get. However, in the interest of possibly reducing some of that email, I would like to address my number one complaint.
More than anything else, I get emails from men complaining that, even though their wives (lovers, girlfriends, partners, or what have you) don't tease them enough, or don't pay them enough attention. By this, they most often mean that they are not getting as many orgasms as they would like. Here is my advice to all those men and women in this situation.
First of all, ask yourself, “Who is in charge?” If the answer is, “She is,” then take it up with her. I cannot make your partner do anything she doesn't want to do, nor can I motivate her to do more. There are three possible reasons that she is not doing what you want her to do. The first, and most important, is that you wanted her to be in charge, and now that she is, you are not happy with the way she does things. So the first reason is simply that she is not you and has the right to do things the way she wants to do them.
The second reason she is not living up to your expectations might be that your expectations are too high. That is, your fantasies about how things will be, are not realistic. She has things to do besides teasing your little dickie all day.
The third and final reason might be that she simply doesn't know what you want. That is, you expect her to read your mind. What have you done to help her understand what you need and want? Hounding her about it will NOT work. She will only give up, thinking there is no way she can ever truly please you.
The answer to all these situations is the same. SHE is in charge. You wanted it that way. You told her that you would do anything to please her. Perhaps, you are not holding up your end of the bargain. The more you do for her, the more free time she will have. The more free time she has, the more of it she can spend with you.
Not getting enough orgasms? Really? Who determines when and how you get to cum? Her! If she doesn't want to allow you to have an orgasm, then live it. After all, this is what you wanted.
STOP pushing her for more. Stop hounding her about sex. Stop complaining! Tell her how much you appreciate what she does do. Praise her for the great job she has done, so far. Telling her what you want, telling her how to do things, and telling her she isn't doing enough, are NOT good ways to get what you want. Stop trying to top from the bottom. You gave her the reins, let her use them however she wants.
Gentlemen, in order to get more, you first must appreciate what you have.
Mistress Ivey

Saturday, February 7, 2015

New Fantasy Series

My new book series is coming along wonderfully. Thanks to all of you who have already sent in your stories and to those who are stilling planning to.
Yes, I need MORE stories! I have enough to fill two books right now, and they will be out before the end of the month, if all goes well. But I am hoping for many more stories, from my readers. I know there are more of you out there who probably think you can't write well enough, or you can't think of anything to write.
Well, don't worry. I am the only one who will see the first draft. I will review your story, edit it, then pay you for it, and, finally, publish it in one of my upcoming volumes. I won't publish your name if don't want. I will use any pen name you like.
Don't fantasize? If you live a female dominated lifestyle, then you have stories to tell. Things you do every day, or even once, can be turned into a story. Just write it all down and send it to me.
I have to admit, I love the stories I received so far. So don't delay. If you would like to see your fantasy or story in print, or just want to share an experience with other folks just like you, this is your chance! Don't miss it.
I will get back to my usual posts next week...
Mistress Ivey

Sunday, January 25, 2015

Fantasy Submissions

I want to thank all those who have (or will) submit fantasies for my upcoming book series. It is beginning to look like the first volume will be out by March (I hope). So far, I have received a good many stories, or fantasies if you will, from my readers. I need many more if we are to make this series successful.
I have received many questions about the subject matter. In answer to those questions, all I can say is, if it relates to Female Dominance (Femdom), then I will be happy to review it. So keep those stories coming and I will keep working on them. It doesn't matter whether you think you are a good writer or not. After all, I will be editing them. I will need as many stories as you can write.
Come on Ladies! I know that many of you can write. I have read your blogs! And I am sure there are many of you who may have stories of funny things that have happened, or erotic things that you have done with your subby. So far, I have received only one submission from a women. We need to give the world a better idea of what we are all about.
Again, thanks to all of you who have submitted fantasies already.
Mistress Ivey

Monday, January 5, 2015

Femdom Fantasy Books

I have repeatedly said that men (and women) have fantasies. Their fantasies are usually quite different, but that's not what this post is about.
I am putting out a call to anyone (male or female) who is willing to share their fantasies, stories, or real-life experiences with me and possibly my readers. I am putting together a book of Femdom (female dominance) stories and fantasies. I need ideas and good stories. I intend to cover all aspects of female dominance and male submission. So, even if you don't think you can write, give it a try. If I like it, I can polish it up and maybe publish it in my new book.
I know many of you love to read stories and fantasize about them. I am also sure that many of you have the time to write out a few of your own stories and fantasies. So take a chance. What have you got to lose? If I decide to publish your story, I will pay you for it! So go ahead, submit your stories and fantasies. Just make sure it is your own! DO NOT plagiarize anything. If I even suspect that you have used someone else's work, I will simply throw it in the trash.
Send your stories to me either as an email or an attachment. I can read just about any word processor document (except for Lotus). So don't worry about that.
Send them to:


Here are just a few of the subjects I am looking for:
  • Serving/servicing your partner
  • Cuckolding and/or Bisexuality
  • CBT
  • Spanking/paddling
  • Chastity
  • Humiliation of all types
  • Cross Dressing
  • Bondage and/or BDSM
  • Punishment & Discipline
  • Strap-on play
  • Prostate Milking
  • And of course, Tease & Denial
  • Anything else you can think of...

Mistress Ivey