I have received numerous letters asking me for more information about ruined and stifled orgasms and how to make your guy last longer during teasing, so here is what I know. I hope it helps.
First of all, the major difference between a ruined orgasm and a stifled orgasm is the force behind it. A stifled orgasm is actually a full orgasm in which the ejaculate has been prevented from exiting the penis until the force behind it has stopped. That is, by manually preventing your guy's cum from shooting out at full force, you are not preventing the orgasm, only the part he likes best and the aftermath! By “aftermath” I mean that period of time it takes him to fully recoup his good behavior.
Normally, after a full orgasm, it may take your guy up to a week (or more) to fully regain his self control where his behavior is concerned. That is, he may be a little grumpy or not so sexually excited that he will do anything to please you. In the case of a stifled orgasm, recuperation (in some men) may be as short as a few hours or as long as a couple of days. The average (as far as I can tell) seems to be between one and two days. I can't explain exactly why this is, but just be aware of it and you can cope with it.
A ruined orgasm on the the other hand is an orgasm that has been all but prevented. Sometimes ruined orgasms are called “abandoned” orgasms. This is a very good name for them because that's exactly how you cause them. Simply stop all physical stimulation at the last possible moment and, even though he will expel some ejaculate, there will be absolutely no force behind it. It's kind of fun to watch!
If you are not precisely sure when to stop stimulating your guy's cock in order to ruin his orgasm. Practice! If you stop too soon, he will not produce any semen after you stop. If this happens... Yay! You have edged him. Simply go back to stimulating him and try again. If, on the other hand, you stop too late and he cums with some force (at least for the first shot) take heart. It can be difficult finding the exact right instant to stop all stimulation in order to produce a ruined orgasm properly. Just keep practicing.
Your guy cums too soon when you are trying to tease him during a lengthy session? Okay, there are a couple methods to help extend his staying power. The first thing you must do is reduce the stimulation (duh). One way is to soften it. That is, let's say you are using a sable brush to stroke his cock and get him all ready for what comes next. If he cums too easily from this, try using an ostrich feather instead. It is even softer and will give him less stimulation from the very same actions.
Another method of reducing the effects are to place a condom over his cock. This has the added benefit of catching any ejaculate that might be produced, whether wanted or not. You can also cut the end off the condom to give you access to the tip (head) of his cock without giving the shaft as much stimulation as he would get without the condom. Finally, as a last resort, you can use a very small amount of numbing cream to reduce the sensitive areas of his cock. There are several on the market as well as things like Orajel® and such.
Just remember, practice makes perfect, and there's nothing quite as much fun as practicing to ruin an orgasm!