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That's
right. Male chastity is not just for men, nor is it just for women
who want to control their men. Male chastity is for couples! Both the
submissive male and his partner stand to gain from incorporating male
chastity into the relationship. The relationship as a whole stands a
great deal to gain as well.
If you are
the female whose partner has been talking to her about incorporating
male chastity into your relationship, but you have reservations, let
me put you at ease. First of all, you should relax. I know you may
have concerns, issues, and yes. Even a certain amount of fear. Taking
total control of your family (Female Led Relationship) can be a
daunting task. But that's not what I am talking about here.
All I am
talking about is taking control of one small aspect of your
relationship. The sex. By utilizing a chastity device of some kind,
you are taking the first step toward controlling your partner. He may
or may not be keen on the idea. If he is the one who approached you
about male chastity, then half your job is done. On the other hand,
if this is your idea, you may have to incorporate a little tease and
denial to get what you want. Never fear, it will work.
Anyway, the
first step is for you both to agree to give male chastity a try. Sit
down at your kitchen table to discuss it. Why the kitchen table?
Simply because it is a place where you can both feel comfortable and
relaxed. It's neutral ground, so to speak. Talk about the
possibilities. The benefits to both of you (we will cover those in an
upcoming post). Get used to the idea. Don't try to push anything on
your partner. Let him or her think about it, maybe do some research
on their own. Give it a few days to sink in and then sit down and
talk again.
The hardest
part is being open and honest with your partner. But this is
paramount. If you are not totally honest about your feelings, then
you are doomed to fail. Don't be afraid to talk openly. Remember,
this is the person who has seen you naked many, many times. This is
the person who knows your strengths, your weaknesses, and your
vulnerabilities. If you can't be open and honest with him or her,
then what chance does your relationship have, anyway?
If you can
both agree to give male chastity a chance, then be realistic about
it. Start out slow and easy. Don't plan on more than a month or even
a week for a trial period. Decide in advance when and how many
orgasms will be permitted for the male during this trial period. Even
who can decide when they will be permitted. Remember, this is just a
trial period. If you don't like it, don't get any enjoyment from it,
don't see how it can improve your relationship, then you can always
quit.
Mistress
Ivey
Dear Ivey,
ReplyDeleteHave read your blog and enjoyed it for some time but first time commenting. I very much agree that chastity is for the couple and the relationship and more and more couples seem to be discovering it.But you and most women who recommend it emphasize using some kind of a " cock cage" that more or less takes away choice from the male. Isn't the real test of obedience and commitment to chastity and the relationship learning self control about masturbating rather than doing it mechanically. I speak with some experience as we used two different devices and they worked but as soon as I was out of them I reverted. Finally we went to the " honor system" with a series of punishments and rewards to motivate me. Today we have accomplished orgasm control in which I can't come ( either with intercourse or masturbation) without her permission. But it took time and that time would have been wasted if I had spent it locked up rather than learning self control. Thanks for your blog and the fresh ideas you introduce
Philip _ . .
You make a very good point, Philip, but this series of articles is about chastity, not restraint. Besides, some people find using a chastity device to be enjoyable. Yes, it removes the need for restraint, but at the same time, it can be much more fun (not to mention humiliating) for the male to be "forced" into chastity and lose all control over that which he once took for granted.
DeleteMI
Dear Ivey,
DeleteThank you for your thoughtful response. I know we are in the minority in rejecting mechanical devices. I have read part 2 of this article and if it ever becomes a problem again we will definitely look at the Holy Trainer which you recommend so highly. If it had been available it might have worked for us but I do take great satisfaction from achieving chastity by self discipline.
Phillip
Mistress Ivey, Your recommendations are excellent and should be followed by couples just starting out. Love, respect, trust, and good communications is at the heart of a developing relationship. Mistress Barbara and i say Amen.
ReplyDeleteMy wife simply stated that everything here is her property incl. me. She asked me, " Exactly what right do you have to tell me what I can do with my property?" Good point. Then She followed by saying, " Sounds like you're questioning whether I'm competent enough to decide when you deserve sexual release..is that what you're doing." I trembled at that since, in our marriage, questioning Her authority/Female Supremacy is automatically punishable by a week of Daily Discipline. I relented and apologized immediately and assured Her that I would be HONORED to have Her as my Keyholder.--servant billy
ReplyDeleteI hope that worked for you.
DeleteI've gotten used to it. If I get a good weekly evaluation on Friday I'm allowed out for the weekend.
DeleteMistress Ivey, do you have any recommendations on chastity devices? Especially for beginners.
ReplyDeleteOn the same note, I think a section on recommended devices/toys would be a great addition to your blog.