Femdom, Mistress, or Wife?

As a “Mistress” I have dealt with many woman from all walks of life. There have been professional business women, young and old house wives, and even the occasional single woman who just wants to learn how to stop her boyfriend from masturbating all the time. The one thing about being “in charge” is that you can still be yourself.

All too often I am asked what a woman needs to do to be a Mistress, a Femdom, or to maintain control over her loved one. The answer is not nearly as complicated as you might think. Be yourself, but be in charge.

I have always said that you don't have to wear sexy black leather corsets, or carry a riding crop around wherever you go. You don't have to wear knee-high leather boots or yell commands at every turn. You need to create YOUR style of control.

It doesn't matter whether you enjoy sounding like an evil witch, or a sweet princess. What is important is that you let it be known that you will not tolerate disobedience. In other words, you must take control and maintain discipline, but you don't have to dress or act in any certain way. Just be yourself.

If you don't like the idea of using a paddle on your partner's bottom every time he fails to please you, then don't. Maybe you would be more comfortable making him stand in a corner, or closet where you don't have to look at him and where he will not be able to see you.

Do only what you are comfortable doing. If BDSM and bondage are not your thing, fine. You don't have to change yourself for him. In fact, it is he who you should expect to change for you. You are the one in control, but that doesn't have to mean that you are going to beat him silly if he displeases you. Maybe a day without any sexual attention from you will be enough to make your point. Maybe it will take a week of not touching him. But whatever it takes, it is up to you to be in charge.

Maybe you have one of those guys who likes to top from bottom. He has his own ideas about how you should dress and what you should do when he misbehaves. But just because he begged you to take control of his orgasms, his sexual release, and his everyday life, doesn't mean you have to do it HIS way.

Be yourself. Do what is comfortable for you. If you have to sit him down and explain that if he wants you in control, then it is up to him to show you how badly he wants it. It is up to him to obey you like he said he would. Remember, YOU have the power to control him. Simply withholding any kind of sexual attention for a week or so will convince him that you are serious.

Remember, any sexual attention he gets comes from you and you alone. He wants to please you (or he should). Taking away his ability to do that can be a powerful incentive to obey you. Remember, you are in charge! NOT him! So find what works for you and make him conform to your desires and you will be an excellent Mistress.

Mistress Ivey