FemDom-v-FLR

Please, do not confuse a Female Led Relationship with a FemDom relationship. These are actually two different things. Although, they may have a some aspects that cross-over, or are similar in nature, they are very different animals.

A typical FemDom relationship is more about the sexual aspects where the female totally dominates the male in and by sexual means. There may be may, or may not, be any actual love between the two partners. Usually, the male is treated as if he has no rights at all, or that what he wants, likes, dislikes, don't matter at all. In fact, he may be in it for the mistreatment and not for the love.

FemDom is a term originally coined by the BDSM (Bondage, Discipline, Sadomasochism, Masochism) community to refer to a female Dominant. So it only makes sense that a FemDom relationship would be more about the BDSM than about the emotional connection of the people involved.

A Female Led Relationship, on the other hand, is based on love. A man and a woman can love each other even though the female half is the more dominant partner, or at least, the one who assumes the lead role. In other words, you can have a FLR without any type of bondage or physical punishment involved. And, just because there may be some form of bondage, and.or physical discipline, does not mean that is not a FLR.

I would estimate that seventy to eighty percent of all FLR couples do engage in some form of bondage or physical discipline, though usually not very much. That is to say, she might bind his hands or bind him to a bed or chair for some sexual play. She might use a hairbrush or a paddle to correct a disciplinary problem. However, that does not mean they are not in a kind and loving relationship.

By the same token, a couple might be in a FemDom relationship even though they are married and totally committed to each other. They are not mutually exclusive, nor are they mutually inclusive. It's more a matter of over all attitude and behavior.

Am I a FemDom? Sometimes, when I am at a BDSM party playing with another person. But I am the leader of the FLR my husband and I live in. And it is a loving relationship.

Mistress Ivey