Tuesday, September 29, 2015

Approaching Your Wife

This is probably the hardest question I ever get from men who want to turn their relationship into a Female Led Relationship (FLR). Why? Because every woman is different. There is no simple answer to that question. So here is my recommendation...

The first thing you must do is to make your desires known. If you can't sit down with her and tell her that you want her to be in charge of your life, sex life, or just try some tease and denial, then you will never get what you want from her. It's that simple.

You should know that even if she jumps at the chance to become your Mistress, to take complete control of you and all you do, she will NOT do exactly what you dreamed she would do. She is her own woman. She will have to learn how be dominant, at least toward you. You cannot tell her how to do anything! The more you do that, the less chance you have of being successful.

Instead of trying to make her into what you want, try serving her to the best of your ability first. Treat her the way you expect to treat her when she agrees to become your Mistress, Goddess, or Dominant. Show her what life could be like. Do as many household chores as you can without waiting for her to ask you. Do it before she can do it. If she asks you where you would like to go for dinner, tell her you are fine with whatever restaurant she would like to go to.

In other words, don't push it on her. Demonstrate it to her. When she starts asking questions about what you are doing, then is when you can tell her what you want. NOT what you want her to do, but what kind of relationship you would like to have. Don't shove a book or website (not even mine) under her nose and say, “This is what I want.” Wait until she asks where to get information about it before you tell her anything. Let her do some research on her own before you let her know that she has been looking in the wrong places. (Let's face it, most of the internet sites are bullsh!t.) But you definitely don't want to push her.

In the end, you will have much better luck by showing her what you want to do for her, than by telling her what you want her to do for you!

Mistress Ivey


  1. I can only dream my wife would take some control - intentionally. I defer to her on almost all decisions but it doesn't seem to raise any questions.

  2. Very true words Mistress Ivey. I'm submissive by action and do more than my share of house work and I'm happy to do it. Sex is always the way she wants it and many times my pleasure is in pleasing her. She has taken the lead without reading any sites and she knows I love being spanked (not during but after) and giving me bottom a good tanning makes her happy. The first time on my own after we had sex I gave her oral sex cleaning her up which gave her another climax and since that time she loves giving me my cum. No I don't top from the bottom I do what I feel she would enjoy and that makes her happy.

    1. What your wife may need is a course in being a strong, independent woman (assuming she isn't already). Perhaps you could point her to ConquerHim.com or to this website. It might be just the push she needs.