Tuesday, June 2, 2015

Chastity is for Couples (Pt 5)

The Reward & Punishment System.
As I said in my last post, you can expect to have your authority tested, in one way or another. It's not so much a challenge to your authority as it is a test of your resolve. Be prepared. Don't back down.

The best way to maintain discipline (in my opinion) is through a good reward program. This doesn't need to be anything formal (or even written down), but you should keep track so that you can keep a check on yourself, as well as your guy. Yes, you need to keep track of the rewards you give him. Why? Because it is too easy to slip into a complacency in which you don't do your part. That is, you don't give him the rewards he deserves. So get yourself a note book, or one of those journals you can use like a diary. Write down EVERY thing he does for you and the reward you gave him for it.

So what is a good reward system? Fondling him through his clothing can be a reward. Letting him please you sexually can be a reward. But the best rewards of all are those times when you take the time to tease him sexually even if he will not get to have an orgasm. If you truly want your relationship to prosper and flourish, you need a good reward system in place. The more attention (yes, sexual attention) you give your guy, the better the system will work.

Every man's goal, not just a chaste man, is to receive sexual gratification. By locking him in chastity, you have removed every other kind of sexual gratification he could get BEFORE you locked him up. Now, the only thing he gets is what you chose to give him. That is why I have always said, “You can't tease him too much.” He will enjoy it even if all you do is hug him, squeeze his balls or bottom, kiss his cheek and tell him that he is doing a great job.

However, you really should plan on at least one long (sixty minutes or more) tease session a week. You could tease him two or three times a week for thirty minutes each, and that would be even better. The more time you spend each week with him laying naked on the bed while you “play” with his body, the more he will appreciate it, and you. But it's really all those short little teases you give him on a daily basis that keep him coming back for more. That means he will be better behaved. The minute he thinks you are taking all his hard work for granted, he will begin to doubt your ability to lead. Don't let that happen!

Now, about those tests... Whenever he slips up, fails to do as you require, or even smarts off, it is time to implement the other half of the Reward/Punishment system. Punishment can range from a simple scolding, to a severe paddling, or anything in between. You can make him stand in the corner, balance a book on his head, or even wear a pair of clothespins on his nipples for ten minutes. It doesn't matter what the punishment is as long as the severity fits the crime.

One of the best punishments I know of is adding time until his next orgasm. The key to this type of punishment is not placing his orgasm so far in the future that a few days one way or the other won't matter. If you try to keep his orgasm within thirty days from today, you will be doing well. One way of doing that is to set a date in the near future, say... Two weeks away. Mark it on the calendar with a an “O” so that he can see it and he can count the days. Now each time he does something to displease you, you can cross it off and move it the appropriate number of days. (See the photo above.)

As you can see, as long as you can keep moving the expected release date, he will have something to shoot for, but he may never actually reach that day. It is a form of teasing as well as a form of punishment. Of course, you can give him an orgasm any time you want. Maybe he deserves a reward for going above and beyond what you expected and has earned a big reward. No one says you can't give him one anytime you like. But the system above allows you to create an ever increasing time between orgasms without him even realizing what is happening.

Yes, you can make up reasons for moving the release date, if you like. For example, “Thursday is not a good day for me, let's move it to the weekend.” Or, “Your birthday is coming up in a couple of weeks, why don't we just hold off until then?” Perfectly good reasons to move his release date down the line without moving it too far. I know one woman who actually made her husband wait an entire year using this method of reward and punishment. She simply kept moving the date a few days at a time. Her husband was always less than two weeks away from his release date and never got upset when it got moved. She kept him happy by giving him lots of sexual attention (or taking some for herself) and he just never realized how long it had been since his last orgasm because he was focused on the next one.

There you have it. Life is good. If your man is in chastity, life can be great! All you have to do is take charge and tease the hell out of him, and have fun doing it!

Mistress Ivey


  1. I keep referring my wife to your posts. You are such an inspiration and so hot, and your husband is just the luckiest man ever! We are drafting our FLR agreement and since she has a tough time with original thinking on this kind of thing, I am helping maybe more than I should. But when she sees all the advantages she gains by emulating you, I think she will embrace FLR and the teasing lifestyle completely, and then I will be a lucky man too as I fully release control to her. She already has magic in her fingers, it's just a matter of incorporating her control over other matters as well. Wish me luck!

  2. One of Your best posts ever.

  3. Edging (hand job) makes the world go round for me. Spanking and edging at the same time makes me a very, very grateful boy. My wife noticed after an early morning session of this, my behavior and efforts to serve her greatly improved for that day. I get that now every few days, sometimes after work or before I leave in the morning. I think she likes merging discipline with my sexual attention. I really surrender hard every time she does it and I feel lighter and ready to give all I have afterwards.