Tuesday, June 9, 2015

No Chastity Device?

Okay, for one reason or another, you have decided not to keep your partner in chastity. That is, you are not going to make him wear a chastity device. Maybe you tried it and it chaffed him severely, or maybe you don't like having to remove and replace it each time you want to use his equipment, or maybe, you just want to torment him more that. How do handle your relationship when you don't put your guy in chastity?

In order to do it, you must keep a vigilant eye on him in order to be sure he isn't cheating. This is a difficult thing to do. After all, there will always be times when you simply can't watch him and he may be tempted to cheat. Frankly, this doesn't always work out so well. You could try teasing him by making him masturbate several times a day. The idea is to keep him satisfied so that he won't be tempted to take things into his own hands.

There are several ways you work this, if this is the method you choose. For example, you can call (or text) him in the middle of the day (even when he is at work), and have him go to the nearest restroom and masturbate. Naturally, you need to have him send you photographic proof that he did as you ordered him to do.

In addition, you might have him masturbate for you at home once (or even twice) each night. This will serve to keep his desire to masturbate low. You don't have to even watch him do it. Simply tell him to go the bedroom or bathroom and do it. Have him bring you proof that he has complied with your order, and that is that. Personally, I have drink that proof as soon as I saw it, but that's just me.

The best method I have found is supervised masturbation. By having him masturbate ONLY under your supervision, can work to keep him from cheating. First of all, he has something to look forward to, i.e. masturbating under your watchful eye. Men who enjoy being humiliated (there are a LOT of them), will remain chaste in order to suffer the humiliation of being “forced” to masturbate. You can spend the time talking to him about your day, or what he is doing, you can kibitz him, you can talk on the phone to your mother or girlfriend if you like. You can watch him, you can ignore him, you can tell him to hurry up, or to stroke it a certain way. As long as you are in the room with him, everything will be fine.

If using the supervised method, you can still tease and deny them because you will allow them to masturbate for you later. I recommend doing it at least once a day. There is no rule that says you can't do it yourself. That is, you can always make him (let him?) cum anytime you feel like it. You can stroke him, suck him, or even fuck him, that's how you want him to cum. Just be sure that you remind him that he is NOT to cum without your permission.

Mistress Ivey


  1. Hi Ivey,
    I am confused. I understand supervised masturbation as embarrassment or a punishment before being spanked. But isn't the purpose of chastity to reduce or eliminate male masturbation so a wife can use his cock whenever she wants or tease if she wants as well as teach him self control.Many of us have a masturbation problem already which is why our wives turn to chastity. Making him masturbate outside of a punishment situation seems to defeat the purpose of chastity. Sorry for being so thick.

    1. There are as many reasons for practicing male chastity as there are couples. With us, a means to a nonsexual end.

  2. Supervised masturbation doesn't have to be an embarrassment -- I find it intimate. But it is the way to go. Once you've experienced it, flying solo is a distant second, so waiting for it becomes self-reinforcing.

    1. Exactly! The supervised part is key...including possibly being forced to lick your "product" off Her feet. ( You should be kissing Her feet daily anyway.) Yes, with permission. Everything ONLY with Her permission. In fact sometimes I'm frozen in place because I want/need a command from Her.

  3. Mistress Ivey, one of the reason I love your blog so much I suppose is because it is such a practicable approach to FLM/FLR. You always seem to provide varied and realistic varieties for your readers to consider.

    On the topic of chastity (even enforced chastity), I think it's always important to understand that it isn't necessarily defined by whether or not the male sub wears a device on their penis. Certainly a device is one way to enforce chastity, but enforced chastity is also living under strict rules as it relates to access to my/our own penis. When Mistress K. and I first started our FLM, we thought that a device was "required", you know, if we were going to do it right. After a while, Mistress realized that if the only that was keeping her trust in me was a padlock that restricted access for me, at the end of the day the necessary trust that was required in our loving FLM wasn't actually there. As such Mistress K. promptly removed it one day and simply reminded me that there were rules, and that I was expected to abide by those rules and if I didn't, she would know and it would be the reason why we would no longer live a FLM.

    Those rules by the way are simple ... I am absolutely never allowed to even touch my penis for any reason other than to go to the bathroom, to keep it shaved smooth and clean, and for whatever other non-sexual, yet necessary thing might come up. Masturbation was only ever allowed when and if Mistress K. instructed me to do it, and it was mostly under her direct supervision. Also, masturbation was never to be considered synonymous with orgasm or ejaculation. Ever! This is our version of enforced chastity. In our marriage, if I were to masturbate without permission, or worse, masturbate to orgasm without permission, it would be akin to me cheating on my Mistress Wife. I am amazingly able to dutifully refrain from masturbating without permission for that very reason.

    All that being said, I am frequently required to masturbate in her presence for a variety of reasons, but mostly because she simply enjoys having her husband near her, masturbating while she is doing other, normal things in her life. I am never allowed to cum when I masturbate and only once did I take myself too far past the edge and ended up having a ruined orgasm (of course I stopped stroking). Nonetheless, and the reason did not matter, I had an unauthorized ejaculation and I was punished for that as harshly as I have been punished.

    Thank you again for your wonderful blog.

  4. As long as the time between orgasms is not too long, any man should have the self-control and loyalty to not masturbate and wait for his wife to allow him an orgasm. My wife will tease and deny me for a week and allow me a weekend orgasm, sometimes as sexual intercourse, sometimes just a handjob by her or me. I wait because she expects it; no chastity cage is needed. Meanwhile, she gets all the chores done by me that she wants, and sexual service to her that she expects 2 or 3 times a week, I obey all her orders, she makes all final decisions, has me wait on her, and spanks me if needed, but at least once a month for a reminder of her full authority. In return, she gives me daily affection and love and teases me for at least 10 minutes, at least 2 or 3 times a week. I am expected to not nag her about sexual frequency, and in return, she makes sure we do things regularly. Keeping it simple works great for us. I adore her.

  5. My wife and I have agreed that I will not masturbate without her permission. I am usually allowed to orgasm once every two weeks or so. To enforce her rule, she unexpectedly has me drop my shorts and she will fondle my penis. She can tell immediately by my response if I have self-pleasured. Also I am bad at lying and have to admit that I broke her rule. On those occasions, I am given a punishment spanking that reinforces my commitment to her rule of remaining chaste.