Tuesday, March 10, 2015

What Are You Denying?

I get quite a few complaints from men whose wives have locked them up in a chastity device (and some who haven't) concerning orgasm control. These men want to know exactly what constitutes “Orgasm Denial” and what is just plain sexual denial.

Ladies, ladies, ladies! If you are not teasing your partner at least once a day (hopefully a great deal more) then you will never achieve what you are looking for. Your man will eventually stop doing as he is told and will become disillusioned at the least, possibly even bitter about it.

Sexual denial is never going to improve your marriage, or your husband's behavior. If your goal is to mold him into the man you want him to be, then you have to tease him and tease him and tease him some more. That's all there is to it.

In my experience, you should be teasing your guy for at least 30 minutes a day. It doesn't matter whether you give him that all at once or break it down into several shorter teases, but you must tease him every day. You need to use him to please you, if nothing else. That alone will give him what he needs even if you do nothing else.

Personally, I recommend teasing him for five minutes or so several times a day. You must talk to him, erotically, that is. Get his cock hard. If he is in a chastity device and can't get hard, at least make his cock strain against its confines. If you can do this several times each day, then you are no longer just denying him sex.

Once or twice a week you should spend at least an hour getting him sexually aroused. Talk to him, stroke his body. Tease his nipples, balls and anus. Use some kind of instrument, a toothpick, a feather, a fine brush, to tease his body until he is fully aroused (mentally if not physically).

At least once a month, remove his chastity device (bind his hands so that he can't touch himself) and tease his cock until he is begging for that orgasm you have denied him. You can either let him have it, ruin it, or just plain deny it for another day, week, month, or whatever length of time you like. Make it fun for you. If you enjoy doing it, then you will be more likely to continue doing it instead of ignoring the fact that your partner needs sexual attention.

If you are one of those who doesn't want to use a chastity device, be prepared for him to masturbate. It will happen, in spite of what he tells you. But if you can make it more interesting for him, say with a little humiliation? Then you may not need that chastity device. Try making him masturbate while you watch. Do it several times a week and you may get his unauthorized masturbation under control.

In short, make sure that you are denying him orgasms and not just denying sex. Sorry to have to tell you this, ladies, but if you simply deny him sex, he will get it elsewhere, even if it's only by his own hand.

Mistress Ivey


  1. Mistress Ivey, this is wonderful. Truer words were never spoken. As a submissive husband I can attest to the differences between orgasm denial and sexual denial. Ron White, a comedian, has line that says it very well ... "I'm a good dog, but if you don't pet me once in a while, it's hard to keep me under the porch".

    I consider myself a very lucky man in that my Mistress Wife knows and is aware of the difference between orgasm denial and sex denial. Not that you need an endorsement from me, but you are absolutely correct in this post!

  2. I am kept locked most of the time by my wife, in a CB 6000. But every morning , my wife unlocks it, removes the sleeve over my cock, and rubs me thru the panties I am wearing. Then I must ice my cock down, and she lubes the sleeve and locks me again. Several times a day she will pull down my pants and rub my tight balls again thru the panties. Nothing like the pleasure I get from this, and she knows it.

    She will also give me visual,stimulation. Last Sunday, I prepared dinner for guests and it came out great. She said that I would be getting a nice reward tomorrow (Monday). When she came home from her golf game, she told me to,sit on the bed. She then removed her top and bra, leaving on only the very short golf skirt. She knows that I love to see her topless in a skirt or tight jeans. I asked if I may have permission to kiss her tits, she said no, no touching is allowed. She moved right next to me, her tits inches from my mouth and again said, no touching unless you want a severe punishment for disobeying. So I looked at them and imagined sucking her nipples, and did not touch. She said good hubby, now you can wait for me to call you to wash my back in e shower. I was so aroused, I dripped pre cum for the rest of the day. I may add that she only allows me an orgasm every 4 months, the last being January 1 of this year. So I have to wait until the end of April at the earliest. She often makes me wait longer for poor housework, bad behavior or attitude, or simply because she can.

  3. I agree with you completely. My girlfriend is trying the chastity stuff on me but she doesn't pay attention to the tease and denial. I wonder how I could introduce her this topic...

    1. Show her this blog. Or you could send her some Captioned photos to give her the ideas you want her to have.

    2. I have some problems with texts because She doesn't like reading. But I will do my best, Mistress Ivey. Thanks.