When you are not the one in charge, how do you change things? How do get more of what you want without complaining?
First of all, you have to give up trying to force your partner to do what YOU want. It will NEVER work! When you were in charge, you didn't like being told that you were not doing things right. Now did you? So why on Earth would think that would work with her?
What you should be doing is giving her lots of praise every time she does something you enjoy. Thank her for EVERYTHING she does. If she makes you wash the dishes by hand, even though you have a dishwasher, thank her. If she denies you the opportunity to have an orgasm, thank her. Show her just how much you really appreciate everything she does for you, and you will get a lot more back from her.
Stop complaining about what she does not do, and thank her for what she DOES do. As the old adage says, “you will catch more flies with honey, than with vinegar.” When was the last time you thanked her for locking you in chastity so that you can't masturbate? Think about it. The more you praise her, the more you do FOR her, the more she will want to do for you.
If you want her to try something new, something you have never done before, you need to let her know. But if you make it sound like a complaint, or like she “has” to do it, the less likely you are to get the result you want. So be subtle! Write her a fantasy. Send her a letter with your fantasy in it.
Do something romantic. When was the last time you bought her flowers? Took her out to dinner? Or to a movie? What have you done for her, lately? Perhaps, before you complain about anything, you should examine your side of the relationship. Make sure you are doing ALL you can to please her, to make her happy.
After all, a happy wife makes for a happy family!