SPH Continued

As I mentioned in my last post on this subject, you MUST first make sure your partner knows that you love him no matter what. The size of his penis is NOT really important to you. Failure to make him understand that could be devastating to his ego. We want to humiliate him, NOT destroy him!

If this is something that you want to continue, then you should find yourself a good, large, strap-on dildo. Silicone is the best material because it can be boiled as well as placed in your dishwasher to keep it clean. It is relatively soft and very flexible.

You can use the strap-on to show your partner what a large cock looks like and then make him suck it so that he sees just how much a huge cock takes to suck. Tell him you are training him to become your cock-sucking little bitch and that you will eventually have him sucking off your lovers when you cuckold him. Of course, whether you actually cuckold him or not is up to you. Or you can tell him that you are planning to have some of your girlfriends bring their husbands over for some Femdom fun and that he needs to know how to suck cock in case you decide to make him do it.

Using his fantasies in this manner will not only stimulate his imagination, it will humiliate him as well. Again, you may never actually follow through with your threat, but he won't know that. He will always be wondering when you might make him put a real cock in his mouth, or his ass for that matter.

Use your imagination to find ways to humiliate him. Always talk to his as if he doesn't really measure up. These are things that keep him in the right mindset. You can even make him refer to his own cock as tiny, insignificant, worthless or some other demeaning words when talking about it.

The more people you actually involve in his humiliation, just telling someone (even a perfect stranger) about his tiny cock, the more humiliated he will be. Better yet, make him tell them how tiny and useless it is.

I hope these two posts on small penis humiliation have help those of you who are interested.

Mistress Ivey

SPH

If your husband has a small penis, chances are, at least at one point in your life, that didn't matter to you. This is important only because what I am about to tell you could be taken as a devastating blow to his ego (and possibly to your relationship)or it could be his fantasy come true.

If you truly love your husband, but he happens to have a small penis, or you just want to humiliate him even though it may be average sized, you must first make sure he understands that you love him. Make him understand that the size of penis is really something that does not matter to you. Make him understand that you love him just the way he is, no matter what size his penis may be.

Once you have established that, warn him that you may make remarks about the size of his penis and that those remarks are not meant to hurt him, only to remind him of his place. They are meant to humiliate him and make him realize that he is totally YOURS!

Now, how you use his small penis from that point on is up to you. You can tell him that he should understand that his tiny little winker could never possibly satisfy a real woman. Tell him that you may, someday, demonstrate how a “real man's” penis is used to satisfy her.

If you are not planning to cuckold him, then you need to find other ways of humiliating him. Try this... Get yourself a life-like cock style dildo. Make it as big as you think you can handle. Use it in front of him, or have him use it on you himself. Remind him that it takes a cock that big to really satisfy you and ask if he now understands why his little pee-pee must remain in chastity.

Another way of demonstrating the difference between a tiny cocklet like his and a real man's cock is to get a small dildo to go along with the huge one you bought. Put him on his knees and carefully insert the big dildo in his ass. (Don't forget to use plenty of lubrication and take it slow.) Once you have it in him, slowly fuck him with it by pushing it in and out for a few minutes (the longer the better).

Once his is used to having this huge cock in his ass, remove it and replace it with the small one. Ask him if he can feel the difference. Of course he can. Tell him that when he fucks you with his tiny little dicklet it does nothing for you. What you need is a huge cock like the first one he had in his ass. Can you see the humiliation in his eyes?

Of course, you can always have him masturbate for you and make fun of his while he does it. Tell him that you just don't see how he gets any pleasure from such a small dicky, and don't forget to point out that his balls are like marbles or the size of a little boy's balls. All of these things will serve to humiliate him.

If you have advanced enough to have confided in a friend (or maybe you belong to some BDSM group) you can invite another woman to join you in teasing and humiliating him. I'll give you some ideas on that in my next post.

Mistress Ivey

P.S. Just so you know, SPH stand for “Small Penis Husband,” or “Small Penis Humiliation.”

More of What Men Want

In my last post I gave you a few ideas of the kinds of things men want as submissive, chastity (for lack of a better word) slaves. My husband (and life partner) has posted an interesting list of things that men often dream, or fantasize, about. If you are not familiar with the kinds of things that your husband (partner) dreams about, then perhaps you should take a look at this list. (You will find it here: http://teasedenialandcbt.blogspot.com/2014/08/activities-for-submissive-men.html )

It is a list of activities for submissive men, but in reality (at least for me) it is a nice list of things I can use when I want to tease him. No, I don't make him do everything on the list, but I talk about making him do those things when he is bound so that I can tease his cock. All I do is say things like, “Maybe I will have your cock pierced,” or, “I have been thinking about loaning you out to (whoever) because she has been asking if she could use you for a night.” Then I go on to add little details about what I have suggested.

It's a very easy way to get him and keep him aroused even though I am fondling him. Sometimes the pain from the clothespins can distract him enough to lose a little of his “hardness” so to speak. But with my words ringing in his ears, he couldn't get soft if he wanted to.

So take a look at the list on nemo's blog and see if you can't use them to stir your imagination as well as your partner's. You may be surprised how well these things work when you just want to spend five minutes with your hand in his pants to help motivate him during the day.

Mistress Ivey

What Men Want

I am amazed at how many women, whose husbands (or boyfriends, or what ever) approach them with idea of being locked in chastity, or simply want a female led relationship, and don't get the concept.

It's very simple, Ladies. In essence, these men all want the same thing, with certain limitations. Those limitations will vary from man to man, but the concept is the same. They want a woman to take charge of their lives. Well, more specifically, their sex-lives.

It doesn't matter if he wants a simple FLR in which you make all the decisions and he simply does what he is told, or if he wants you to take total charge of his mind and body. What he REALLY wants, is a better sex life. How you give that to him, is up to you. But before you panic, you need to understand one simple concept: Tease and Denial.

It's like the proverbial mule and the carrot. You dangle a carrot (an orgasm) in front of him, but never let him have it. Once you do, you no longer have control. Of course, there are times when it's okay to allow your partner an orgasm. Why? Because like the mule, who gets hungry again, your man will eventually want another orgasm. In the mean time, you will have to deal with all the stubbornness.

In order to get, and keep, your man happy, you must give him what he wants without giving him what he wants. That might seem to make no sense, but let me explain. Your man wants two things: More sexual attention, and an orgasm. You must give him all the sexual attention you can muster without granting him an orgasm. See? It is simple.

The truth is, he doesn't want that orgasm. He wants YOU to deny it. He can't deny it for himself. There is no fun in that. So he needs YOU to deny it for him. He needs you to make him think he is getting close to getting it, but never quite reaches that goal. Maybe you ruin it. Maybe you stifle it. Or, maybe you only edge him. The choice, Ladies, is up to you.

I would advise starting out slowly. Most men who are eager to be placed in chastity don't really know their own limits when it comes to “long-term” chastity. I would recommend starting off with a few days, then extend it to a week, then two, then try for longer. If your guy gets all “whiny” or complains too much, give him lots of support. Tell him how proud you are that he has lasted as long as he has and try to convince him that he can hold out a little longer. Sometimes, that's all he needs. Just to know that you are on his side, even though you are not going to grant him that orgasm... Just yet.

He will do almost anything you want him to do. Remember those limitations I mentioned? This is where they come in. Some men don't want to do certain things. We call these things his limits. That's why you make a contract, or agreement. His limits are the most important part of that contract. Without them, you are liable to hurt him in some way, be it physically, mentally, or emotionally.

For example, some men enjoy being publicly humiliated while others don't. Some may enjoy a limited amount of humiliation, such as, being belittled because of the size of his penis in a private setting, but he doesn't want you saying anything about it to anyone else. Maybe that doesn't bother him as long as you limit it to a select few, or even one, person. While another man may enjoy you telling his boss or his bosses wife about his small penis. Some would even enjoy it if you were to make him take it out and show them how small it is.

My point is, you must respect his limits. But how can you do that if he has never told you what they are? If in doubt, ask him. Making a list of things that he likes might take up more paper than you have, but a list of things he doesn't want done to him... That will be a much shorter list. As time goes by, you may find more things he doesn't like, but if you take it slow, the damage will be minimized.

Now the hard part. Teasing him sexually. Come on Ladies, are trying to tell me that you don't know how to turn on the one person know you almost as well as you know yourself? Please. Don't insult my intelligence. Are you trying to tell me that, if you were single and saw a guy across the room in a bar, you wouldn't know how to get him interested in you? Of course you do. That's teasing.

In fact, anything you do that is sexually exciting to your partner (or even yourself if he knows it) can be used to tease him. Masturbating in front of him, but not allowing him to participate is teasing. Telling him that you would love to tie him to the bed and tickle him for hours, is teasing. Actually doing that may be torture to him, but it's still teasing. Grabbing his butt when he is walking passed you at home. That's a form of teasing. Basically, you can do anything of a sexual nature to tease your man. Don't believe me? Try it sometime. You might just be surprised what will turn him on.

Of course, I do recommend that you spend at least an hour, two or more times a week, physically teasing him by fondling him, rubbing ice on his body, using toothpicks or wooden kabob skewers, or just playing with his penis without bringing him to orgasm. If you can manage to do it in some other room of the house besides the bedroom, so much the better. Have you tried the garage? You really should. It can be a lot of fun.

I also recommend, binding him to the bed or a chair from time to time. Blindfolds are wonderful accessories for your playtime as well. If you have read any of my books on the subject, then you know that I always recommend that you use your own imagination. If you can use his imagination, that's even better. If you want to use his imagination, you better get to know a few of his fantasies.

There you have it. Tease and denial in a nutshell. Everything you need to know, but were afraid to ask. Don't be afraid of disappointing your man. If he is not happy with some form of teasing that you use, you will know it. He won't get angry and yell at you. In fact, odds are, he won't even mention it unless you ask. So ask often, just to make sure you are on the right track.

Mistress Ivey

Avoiding the Monotony Monster

Are you guilty of creating monotony in your sex-life? As the one in charge of what happens (within your relationship) it's important to keep things interesting. After all, you could have sex two or three times every day, but if you are not including some variety, then you are doomed to boredom.

If you are the one in charge of your sex-life, then it is up to you make sure that you both avoid boredom. Monotony is the enemy of happiness. You should have a list of sexual activities that you have done before and/or would like to do again. If your list contains fewer than ten items, then you need to do some serious thinking. Your list should have as many things as you can think of on it.

Sit down and think about it. Try to remember all the different things you have done in the past. Write down the ones you enjoyed. Be sure to include those things that were spontaneous, or unexpected. If they can be recreated, write them down. You might want to look over a list of things your partner fantasizes about. What? You don't have a list of his fantasies? Shame on you! If you're not playing into his fantasies, how do you expect to maintain control over his desires?

Once you have a nice long list (and the longer the better) you should refer to it often in order to keep things interesting, exciting even. By using such a list, you can avoid the monotony monster and both of you should be much happier with your life. Not just your sex-life, but your life in general. Let's face it, men are sexually oriented. They can't help it, they are made that way. We women, on the other hand, are not so sexually oriented. We have to work at it.

If you really want to be in total control of your guy, and you are willing to put in the work to make your overall life, even your marriage, better, then you should be willing to spend a little time and effort doing just that. You don't have to have sex every day if you make it memorable enough. At the same time you could use the exact same tease and denial routine every day while telling your partner a different fantasy to achieve your goal and avoid monotony.

Using a list of things you have done that were successful (fun, memorable, exciting) and a list of your partner's fantasies, you can make every sexual encounter memorable. A memorable sexual encounter will actually last longer (in your partner's memory) which means he won't feel like he needs more as quickly. In other words, you can extend the time between teases and he will not feel that you are ignoring him. Nor will he feel bored so quickly.

Once you have these lists, you may need to do some research online. Find some things you have not done and try them. Maybe you need to purchase a new toy or two. Maybe you need to improve your ability to talk during sex. Remember, relating one of your partner's fantasies during sex can greatly enhance both his experience and your own. I guess what I am trying to say is, just because you have a list of ten or even twenty things, you should always be looking for something new. The best part about doing research is that you can make him do it for you. Have him find new things that interest him. Things that you can use as fantasies, and things that you can actually do with/to him.

Never stop varying your routine and you will never have to worry about the monotony monster again.

Good luck, Ladies.

Mistress Ivey

Put your best ideas in a comment for me! Men are welcome to comment as well.

I'm Back!

The vacation was busy, we had some good times and some bad, but we came through it just fine. We also came to a decision concerning the new website. As it turns out, the other site seems to be too much work even for the two of us, so I decided to keep this blog and continue to post everything here. I thank you for you patience and understanding.

I will soon be back to making regular posts and I will re-post some of the better posts that I still have copies of.

I promise to post about all your favorite subjects, from anal sex to serious Tease and Denial and orgasm control!

Please keep checking this site for up-dates, and future posts.

Mistress Ivey