Wednesday, May 17, 2017

From My Husband

I have received many questions over the years that are best answered by my husband. He has been by my side through the good times and the bad and can answer some of these questions better than I, because of his perspective. So, I am turning today's blog over to my husband...

They call me nemo. Yes, like the famous Capt. Nemo of Jules Verne fame. When Ivey and I first set up our female led relationship, I chose that name because in ancient Latin it means “no one.” I thought, since I had nothing to say about how our relationship would work, beyond our initial agreement, it was a fitting name.

The question most men seem to ask is, “How did you approach your wife about setting up an FLR?” The answer to that question is simple. If you have read anything about her past, then you know that I started out as her Master. When she first asked me if I would teach her to be a dominant, I did just that. For me, the easiest way to teach her was to take the role of a submissive. Then, when she screwed up, (which she often did, at first) I would simply remind her of what I would have done had our roles been reversed.

After a few months of being her submissive, I suggested that she was ready to take on a real sub of her own. Together, we searched for a suitable replacement for me (as her submissive). We found one, and I stepped out of that role to help guide her when she needed it.

Later, when I realized how difficult it was for her to play the “switch” I asked her if she wanted to settle down with just me as her submissive and stop spending so much money for motels and travel to various BDSM events that we so often did, and just stay at home. She accepted my proposal and it has been that way ever since.

Even though I am not in charge anymore, there have always been things that she would rather do for herself, so I was not one of those guys who was placed in total submission and required to do everything for her. We share many responsibilities. I believe that is the reason for our success at home.

I get a lot of questions about chastity. Well, I own (or rather she owns) many different types of chastity devices. We did a great deal of experimentation in the beginning. Our favorites include the Holy Trainer for its comfort and the CB3000 because she also purchased the Points of Intrigue to go with it. (That is not my favorite part.) We also own a few different metal devices from various manufacturers.

How did we first get started with male chastity? Personally, I wanted to try it out. Curiosity was my motivating factor, I suppose. How did I approach my wife with the subject? Simple. One day, while bound to our bed and she was teasing my genitals, I said, “I would like to try wearing a chastity device. I think it would be fun.” And that was all I needed to say. If you ask me, during sexual activity is the best time to bring up anything you want that is different from what you have done. I suppose the same would be true for asking your wife about setting up a female led relationship.

These days, I don't even wear a chastity device even though I am only allowed to ejaculate once every two to three months. I use only my own self control between times. Mistress Ivey hates having to remove the device every time she wants to fondle or physically tease my genitals. Of course, it takes a lot of trust and self control to maintain this type of chastity. It may not work for everyone, but it works for us. Besides, with no device in the way, I get a lot more sexual attention!

If you have other questions for me, simply make a comment to this post and I will try to answer them all, as best I can. Thank you for your time.

Husband & slave to
Mistress Ivey


  1. Thank You nicely done love how you picked the name.
    hope the two of You continue to enjoy and grow.
    Love the blog

  2. Thank you for your insight. Quite helpful. We're not fully there, yet, but working toward it. As I'm learning is pretty common, I'm in panties and have almost no "male" undies. I've been to a female doctor in my rather quotidian panties, no comment. Are you similarly attired? Thanks.

  3. Thanks for your blog post Nemo. As someone at the start of a FLR can you give me some help/guidance on how you manage control of your orgasms during intercourse? as the passion in our relationship is increasing due to the FLR i'm now feeling more like a teenager than a middle aged man!!

  4. Denial period of my husband is similar two to three months. He was a porn and masturbation addict. We tried it without the chastity belt a few years ago, he masturbated on the second day. We tried recently, he masturbated on the same day in the shower...

  5. Just discussing attempting use of a man’s chastity device while being intimate was how my wife and I got into consensual tease and denial play. We had discussed it before, but my wife was more receptive at that time but still thought it was a bit strange. But time passes and my wife enjoys the benefits. I get an orgasm about every two months and an occasional surprise. I get plenty of time out of my cb, monitored of course. I’m told not to leave the house without it. The cb3000 is actually pretty comfortable and secure. I’ve never been able to wrangle out of it. It’s looking like we may try just frequent milkings for me in 2018, but (mercifully) not past that. It’s a harmless and erotic kink if done sanely. I guess I will need to wear my cb more often then because I do not have the kind of willpower you obviously do. When I got married years ago I’d never believe that today I’d be locked in a cb and my wife would have all the keys.