Using Fantasies

In all my books, and in many previous posts, I have talked about the importance of fantasies in a Female Led Relationship. I have talked about how they relate to his arousal. How to use them to increase his enjoyment. How to increase your partner’s frustration and arousal with them. What I have not really addressed is exactly how you can relate or nurture a fantasy while teasing your partner. What do you say? Do you have to recite a fantasy as though reading him a story?

The answer to those questions is really more simple than you think. You don’t have to tell him an entire fantasy. You don’t have to read or recite any fantasies for him. What you have to do is plant the seeds, nurture them, and watch them grow.

So how does one implant a fantasy in one’s partner? Simply by feeding a little bit of it to his imagination and letting him (or it) do all the work. If you tell your partner that you are going to do something “special” for his birthday. Maybe even allow him an orgasm. He will wonder exactly what you have in mind for him. However, he will be left on his own to come up with a fantasy to fill that void. That is a very bad thing!

“Why is it a bad thing to let his imagination run wild?” You may very well ask that question. The answer is simple… You will never be able to live up to the fantasy he came up with. First of all, leaving him to his own devices, his own imagination without guidance, means that he is free to think whatever he wants.

Suppose you did that very bad thing. You may be planning a special tease session, using his favorite tease methods, and you intend for it to last about thirty to forty-five minutes. But because you left it all up in the air, he may come up with a scenario in which you make him stand in front of you, stark naked, and masturbate at your direction. His fantasy may take hours to actually complete. Now when you proceed to tie him down on his birthday, he will not be getting what he has been dreaming (fantasizing) about for the last month. He will feel let down.

However, if you plant your own fantasy in his head, you will insure that he is on the right track. It would be advantageous of you to add a little to the fantasy from time to time. Suppose you start his fantasy out by saying, “I am planning on giving you a special tease session that will end with you having a terrific orgasm.” And you leave it at that. You have started out in the right direction, but you must add to it before he lets it get away from him (or you).

Say, there is a week until his birthday. On the day after you initiated his fantasy, you now tell him that you plan to use a certain toy that you know he likes. Tell him how you will use it. Make sure that you don’t give him too much information, though. You might say something like, “I am going to use the big vibrator on you. But I am going to do it very lightly. So lightly that it will drive you insane.”

Now, you have planted the right seed. It will grow in the right direction. He will imagine you doing exactly what you said you would, but he can’t imagine anything else. It will keep him aroused all week long. Of course, from time to time, you can add little hints like, “You love it when I drag that big vibrator slowly across your anus, don’t you?” in order to keep him focused on that particular fantasy.

Now, while you are actually teasing him, that is, when he is bound to the bed, a chair, or the dining room table, you want to use fantasies in a completely different way. This time you want his imagination to run wild, so you don’t have to tell him an entire fantasy yourself. Besides, when you do that, you are telling him YOUR fantasy, not one of his. So here is how you do that…

Now that you have him at your mercy and you are teasing him in some way, whether you are stroking his cock or running an ice cube up and down his body, doesn’t matter. You simply need to implant the seed and let him take it from there. For example, you might say, “Imagine that you are in a castle bound to a big wooden table. There are lots of scary implements hanging on the walls. I am not there. Someone else is tormenting your body, not me. Tell me, what do you think she might do to you?”

Now you have set up the fantasy, let him take it wherever he wants it to go. Maybe adjust your teasing to fit his fantasy. If he seems to get stuck for what to say, prompt him. “The woman in this fantasy has just picked up a large, very sharp, knife.” Then you can let him tell you what she does with the knife while you use an ice cube to make it feel as if he is being cut just as the fantasy says. (Now do you see why I insist that a blindfold is so important?)

Maybe, during your next tease session, you can simply ask him to tell you about any one of his own fantasies. Remember, don’t judge him! Fantasies are just that… Fantasies. But you can find out more about the kinds of things that you might be able to use in the future, either as methods of teasing, or to implant a fantasy of your own.

Happy fantasizing!

Mistress Ivey