True Power

Almost every woman knows that when her partner has a hard cock and has been brought to the edge of ejaculation, he is at his weakest. But few women seem to fully understand the true power they hold in their hands at that very moment.

You may not be in the mood for a full fledged female led relationship, or even simple chastity. You may not want to be a keyholder, but whether you like it or not, you are one. At that moment, just before he ejaculates, you hold the keys to his continued happiness. Should you continue, and finish him off? Or, perhaps, you could hold him off for just a few moments while you extract a small reward from him, before allowing him to ejaculate.

The choice is yours, and yours alone! Suppose you have been wanting a piece of jewelry. This would be the perfect time to ask him for it. Maybe you have been wanting him to take you out to a nice dinner somewhere. Again, this is the perfect time to secure what you want. Once you allow him to ejaculate, it's too late to ask him for what you want. He has no more incentive to grant your wishes.

So, armed with this information, you can see how you hold true power over him. Deny him his ejaculation until you have secured what you want. We all know that if you want multiple orgasms, you are going to have to get them BEFORE he ejaculates, or you may have to use that trusty vibrator on yourself.

So, whether you want more orgasms, a new car, or a nice diamond bracelet, get it before you allow him to have his orgasm and you will feel the true power you hold over him. The more you deny him, the more he will do for you. It's that simple.

Mistress Ivey

Things Men Love to Hate

This is a list of things that man hate to do, but love to be “forced” to do them by their Mistress. Sometimes only fantasy is enough, but there may come a time when the fantasy is not enough. It all depends on your guy. Simply talking to your partner can often reveal things that you never thought of before. Communication is the key to pushing his fantasies in the direction you want them to go.

Remember, you don’t have to tell him a complete fantasy, simply suggest an activity that will arouse him and he will take it from there. Try one of these, for example. If the fantasy goes well, you may want to try it out for real. Again, it all depends on what things really turn him on and what he (or you) would prefer to keep as fantasies.

·       Masturbate for Mistress

o   In order to do this properly, the Mistress should actually direct the masturbator by telling him when to speed up, slow down, go faster, don’t cum, and things such as that.

o   Though this is very humiliating to do without direction, it is also very difficult to do unless the masturbator loves performing in front of an audience.

·       Drink Ejaculate

o   Remember, it’s all in how you make it happen. If he likes the taste, and many men do, then making him drink it isn’t so bad. But if he doesn’t, then it becomes something that he only enjoys because Mistress is making him do it.

o   Putting it in his coffee, freezing it for later, collecting a larger quantity in the refrigerator, are all ways of making it more humiliating.

·       Pegging

o   Some men love to be pegged. But if you put the right fantasy with it, it can become something he loved to hate. For example, tell him you are going to invite a friend over to do it for real.

o   Add a second woman to make it more humiliating.

·       Sucking Cock

o   Whether or not the Mistress actually wants her guy to suck another man’s cock is irrelevant. It is the fantasy that gets many men turned on. The threat that Mistress might just make it happen.

o   Making him practice with a dildo or two from time to time can add to his enjoyment of the fantasy.

·       Cross-Dressing

o   This is another area that some men may be afraid to confess enjoying. They may have never done it, but that may be because no one ever “forced” them to do it.

o   Cross-dressing in public make a great fantasy for men who enjoy doing it in private. Or maybe, the fantasy of performing sexual acts with other men while cross-dressing appeals to him.

If you put your mind to it, and talk with your partner about as many different things as you can think of, you may come up with a few of your own.

Mistress Ivey

Using Fantasies

In all my books, and in many previous posts, I have talked about the importance of fantasies in a Female Led Relationship. I have talked about how they relate to his arousal. How to use them to increase his enjoyment. How to increase your partner’s frustration and arousal with them. What I have not really addressed is exactly how you can relate or nurture a fantasy while teasing your partner. What do you say? Do you have to recite a fantasy as though reading him a story?

The answer to those questions is really more simple than you think. You don’t have to tell him an entire fantasy. You don’t have to read or recite any fantasies for him. What you have to do is plant the seeds, nurture them, and watch them grow.

So how does one implant a fantasy in one’s partner? Simply by feeding a little bit of it to his imagination and letting him (or it) do all the work. If you tell your partner that you are going to do something “special” for his birthday. Maybe even allow him an orgasm. He will wonder exactly what you have in mind for him. However, he will be left on his own to come up with a fantasy to fill that void. That is a very bad thing!

“Why is it a bad thing to let his imagination run wild?” You may very well ask that question. The answer is simple… You will never be able to live up to the fantasy he came up with. First of all, leaving him to his own devices, his own imagination without guidance, means that he is free to think whatever he wants.

Suppose you did that very bad thing. You may be planning a special tease session, using his favorite tease methods, and you intend for it to last about thirty to forty-five minutes. But because you left it all up in the air, he may come up with a scenario in which you make him stand in front of you, stark naked, and masturbate at your direction. His fantasy may take hours to actually complete. Now when you proceed to tie him down on his birthday, he will not be getting what he has been dreaming (fantasizing) about for the last month. He will feel let down.

However, if you plant your own fantasy in his head, you will insure that he is on the right track. It would be advantageous of you to add a little to the fantasy from time to time. Suppose you start his fantasy out by saying, “I am planning on giving you a special tease session that will end with you having a terrific orgasm.” And you leave it at that. You have started out in the right direction, but you must add to it before he lets it get away from him (or you).

Say, there is a week until his birthday. On the day after you initiated his fantasy, you now tell him that you plan to use a certain toy that you know he likes. Tell him how you will use it. Make sure that you don’t give him too much information, though. You might say something like, “I am going to use the big vibrator on you. But I am going to do it very lightly. So lightly that it will drive you insane.”

Now, you have planted the right seed. It will grow in the right direction. He will imagine you doing exactly what you said you would, but he can’t imagine anything else. It will keep him aroused all week long. Of course, from time to time, you can add little hints like, “You love it when I drag that big vibrator slowly across your anus, don’t you?” in order to keep him focused on that particular fantasy.

Now, while you are actually teasing him, that is, when he is bound to the bed, a chair, or the dining room table, you want to use fantasies in a completely different way. This time you want his imagination to run wild, so you don’t have to tell him an entire fantasy yourself. Besides, when you do that, you are telling him YOUR fantasy, not one of his. So here is how you do that…

Now that you have him at your mercy and you are teasing him in some way, whether you are stroking his cock or running an ice cube up and down his body, doesn’t matter. You simply need to implant the seed and let him take it from there. For example, you might say, “Imagine that you are in a castle bound to a big wooden table. There are lots of scary implements hanging on the walls. I am not there. Someone else is tormenting your body, not me. Tell me, what do you think she might do to you?”

Now you have set up the fantasy, let him take it wherever he wants it to go. Maybe adjust your teasing to fit his fantasy. If he seems to get stuck for what to say, prompt him. “The woman in this fantasy has just picked up a large, very sharp, knife.” Then you can let him tell you what she does with the knife while you use an ice cube to make it feel as if he is being cut just as the fantasy says. (Now do you see why I insist that a blindfold is so important?)

Maybe, during your next tease session, you can simply ask him to tell you about any one of his own fantasies. Remember, don’t judge him! Fantasies are just that… Fantasies. But you can find out more about the kinds of things that you might be able to use in the future, either as methods of teasing, or to implant a fantasy of your own.

Happy fantasizing!

Mistress Ivey

Masturbation -v- Sex (pt.3)

Games:

Now that we understand how masturbation and partnered sexual activity differ, and we know that fantasies can play a major role in any type of sexual activity, let's take a look at how to use those fantasies to our advantage.

To put it simply, tell your guy that he can go into the bathroom and masturbate for his release this month. That will cause a smaller drop in his desire and, therefore, a shorter recovery time, than if you simply stroke his cock to ejaculation for him. Whether you nurture a fantasy or not, at this time, will have some, albeit slight, effect on his recovery time as well. But what do fantasies have to do with playing games?

If you like to play sexual games with your partner, whether or not he is locked in chastity, the more you incorporate fantasy into your games, the more effective they will be in getting, and keeping, him aroused. For example, if you text your partner during the day, try adding a little bit of fantasy to your text. This is a simple thing to do. You could, for example, ask him if he would be turned on being tied to a chair while you slowly rake your fingernails over his entire body, and just leave it at that. His mind will work overtime for the rest of the day. If your were to actually do that to him, at one time or another, before asking him the question in a text message, the memory of that event will enhance his imagination in re-creating the fantasy.

If you are one of those women who enjoy the humiliation he feels when you make him stand before you and masturbate, then knowing some of his fantasies can really help. Nurture the fantasy by relating parts or it, or asking him to tell you about the fantasy while he tending to the job at hand. He may finish much sooner than he would if you just sit there in silence and watch.

If you use games to determine when he gets an orgasm, or what kind of an orgasm he may have, fantasy can be a great tool here as well. You can begin by telling how you intend to allow him to orgasm. Maybe you promise to spend some time teasing his entire body first, or make him do it in the car. Whatever fantasy you use can help build his anticipation of the event.

Use your imagination to come up with ways to use fantasies to increase your partner's desire and anticipation of your next encounter, whatever that may be. You may be surprised how effective fantasies can be...

Mistress Ivey

Masturbation -v- Sex (pt.2)

Fantasy:

We have talked about the difference between masturbation and partnered sexual activity, and how that difference effects his behavior, or desire for more. In this segment we will discuss what part fantasy plays in these two activities.

When a man masturbates, it is crucial that he work up some sort of mental image of the sexual activity that turns him on. Whether he is looking at a Playboy magazine or watching a porn-flick on the Internet makes little difference. Some men need visual (or auditory) stimulation in order to maintain a fantasy long enough to produce the desired result... Ejaculation. Others, do not have any difficulty in this area. It all depends on their experience, whether it has been watching videos, live action, or just staring at photos. The ability of their own imagination to produce a clear enough fantasy for them to successfully masturbate is the key to how long it takes them to achieve ejaculation and how satisfying that ejaculation will be.

Some men may tell you that they don't fantasize while masturbating. Bull sh#t! They may not realize they are doing it, but they do. If they are watching a video, for example, they are most likely imagining themselves as being a part of the action. If they are simply looking at photos, their imagination has to work a little harder and it may take them longer to reach their goal.

Now let's put this into a practical situation. If you are the Woman in charge of this man and all his sexual relief, it would be extremely beneficial to you to be able to implant, or even nurture, a fantasy that will get him as excited as possible in as short a time as possible. Even if you do not intend to allow him to ejaculate at the time, the more aroused he is, the better for you. If your goal is to tease and deny, then the more exciting the fantasy is to him, the better. The more details you relate (or make him relate to you) during your session, the better. Not only for that moment, but the fantasy will remain clear in his mind when you are not there to stir his imagination.

So, can you see how important it is to use fantasies when teasing your guy? If not, you should re-read this and the previous post a time or two.

In the next installment, I will explain how all this can make playing sexual games, or chastity games, more fun for the both of you...

Mistress Ivey