Sunday, November 7, 2010

Doing Humiliation Right

I'm not talking about face slapping, name calling, or boot licking. The kind of humiliation I am talking about would more accurately be called embarrassment. When a sub (or slave) is required by the Dominant to do something that is embarrassing to them, perhaps in public, at an event, or even in private, it can be very humiliating for them. This is what I am talking about and it is something quite often misunderstood.

There are three very important factors that need to be addressed if a Dominant wants to humiliate his/her sub successfully.

  1. It must be an action that the sub secretly (deep down inside) wants to be forced to do.
  2. It must be something that the sub would likely never actually do on their own.
  3. It must NOT cause the sub any real harm (physical OR psychological)!

By “forced,” I mean they must be encouraged properly. A Dominant's order is a very good incentive for a sub. For example: It is common for a male sub to want to taste his own cum. But many would never do it on their own because it would be too embarrassing, especially in front of someone else. If the Dominant orders him to do it, then he has the incentive he needs to follow through. He will get a thrill from having been “forced” to do it (even if he hates the taste).

Each sub (male or female) has their own desires as far as humiliation goes. It is a Dominant's job to discover what these things are. Once known, the Dominant can use the information for many joyous activities. There are a number of ways to find out just what these secret desires are. One good way would be to have your sub fill out a BDSM check list such as the one found on Soul's Haven web site. You can prepare your own questionnaire for the submissive to fill out privately. Another excellent way to discover what your subs secret desires are is to have him/her write (email is good for this) fantasies from time to time. Don't try to overwhelm him by ordering a fantasy a day. Spread them out, maybe one a week would be a good place to start.

Once you have a good idea what kinds of things your sub finds humiliating you can work up some good scenarios to put him/her through their paces.

For more information on fantasies and how to use them, Click Here.

Good luck.

Mistress Ivey

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