Whether a couple participates in a FLR by choice or by nature, the one thing that is common is the man’s decision to honor the woman’s choices.
If you are in a FLR and you are wondering whether you are ‘doing it right’, you should understand that when you honor the choices of the woman you are with, then you are doing it right.
- When she asks to be treated a certain way, as a man you should honor that.
- When she says she wants chicken for dinner, as a man you should honor that.
- When she wants to be left alone, as a man you should honor that.
- When she says she is ready to try a new career, as a man you should honor and support that.
- If she tells you she is not interested in an idea that you present to her, as a man you should honor that.
- If she wants to try a new idea during your intimate moments, as a man you should honor that.
- If she wants you to make some of the decisions on your own, as a man you should honor that.
- If she wants to
cuddle and be comforted, as a man you should honor that.
If a man is trying to convince you that you can not have a FLR without dominating him forcefully, placing him in chastity or making him kiss your feet he is either misinformed or he is being manipulative.
All he needs to do is place honoring the woman’s preferences and choices as the number one priority and you have successfully created a FLR.
ConquerHim.com
Queenie you are right. The chastity, foot kissing is kink pure and simple. We have talked about chastity but she said no. She is not into foot kissing but during play loves to have her toes sucked. She also loves to spank me and use her strap on and enjoys me giving her oral sex (after she taught me the right way to do it) In our FLR that is what she enjoys and that is what I do.
ReplyDeletearchedone
If there is absolutely no kink, then what's the point? Then she gets everything and he gets nothing but a lot of extra work and no voice for no payoff. Very few men, or women either could ever be that altruistic, it defies normal human nature per survival of the organism, also called Natural Selection. You are kidding yourselves big time.
ReplyDeletePerhaps the problem is your attitude. Besides, this post was written for women. I suspect you are not female, so if it doesn't seem to apply to you, that is why.
DeleteAs for "kidding" ourselves, I have seen this work many times. If you think it requires "kink" then maybe some self-reflection is indicated.
MI
Yes, I am male. Also, it was only a few months ago that you agreed after one of my anonymous posts that the wife needs to contribute and do her part, or it can't really work...so which do you really believe? Seems like you flip-flop a lot. Anyway, try looking up cost/benefit relationships in the animal kingdom, of which yes, we are still a big part. Altruism will not stand up to a daily cost with no tangible benefit. It's basic biology. It would be a rare and very tiny percentage of males that would take part in an FLR without tangible rewards, over and above the mere satisfaction of serving. At that level, a tendency to behave in ways that are not to their benefit will also very likely lead to behavior that affect their ability or opportunities to reproduce, which will genetically dispose of that tendency to selfless service to the female, to even survive as a male trait. It is called a self-extinguishing behavior and it has no survival value for the male's DNA. That is why you are kidding yourselves, it has nothing to do with my attitude, it is a basic truth of evolution and natural selection, both of which are facts based on thoroughly researched and proven subjects, not speculation. Some people say "science theory" like it is unproven mythology, but theory actually means it is essentially proven through extensive experimentation, research, and tangible physical evidence. Ladies, I suggest if you want your control to continue, you had better make it fun. Most males will expect it if they continue to serve. It may not sound like it to you, but I am just trying to help your cause, not hurt it.
DeleteI am not "flip-flopping" at all. I simply pointed out how there are a some men who would love to be in an FLR where they get nothing in return, so to speak. If you have read ANYTHING I have written then you know that I strongly recommend that each dominant in do certain things in order to keep her male in constant state of arousal.
DeleteI am inclined to believe that you are extremely unhappy with your particular relationship. Have you considered that there are women who have no desire to be in an FLR? Or that they are not at all interested in sex of any sort? It happens. But I don't know what you expect me to do about it. It is YOUR relationship. If you can't make the best of what you have, get out. Find someone who is willing to give you what you need. But stop blaming others for your own lack of happiness.
MI
I (another Anonymous) would say that the question is - what comes first, and what second. The first must be love and respect (and it is mutual, even if the roles are different), and sexual experimenting comes naturally by itself. Flr somehow changes the old framework of relationships, and there is no other way than experimenting. Actually, I wanted to say thanks for this blog. It teached me how can i worship my wife without turning the relationships into femdom (unnatural to her), but by pleasing her and allowing to feel good.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteWell, I would say that these are or should be elements of any loving relationship.
ReplyDeleteSo doing these does not necessarily mean that you are in an FLR ;)