Step Three

If you have done the first two steps exactly as I have explained them, then you should be ready for Step Three. I want you to gather together the following items:

• Something you can use as a blindfold. A bandanna, a scarf, or even a sleep-mask. Anything that you can secure over his eyes so he won't be able to see anything you are getting ready to do to him.
• A couple of toothpicks
• Some type of mentholated cream or ointment. IcyHot works well and so does any muscle-ache relief cream such as Bengay or even Tiger Balm.
• A few wooden clothespins (3-4 will do).
• Something that vibrates.
• Some kind of lubrication (oil or cream)

Once you have all these items, put everything except the blindfold in a small bag. An old purse works just fine. We don't want him seeing the other items until you are done with him. Getting him to wear a blindfold for some sexual fun shouldn't be difficult.

Step Two

Okay, so your husband gave you a few well deserved massages. I hope there were at least one or two of those that you did not return the favor. You can make up any excuse you like, but I would stay away from the “I'm sick” excuse. Let's look at where you can go from here...

What I recommend is treating your husband to a long, relaxing tease session. You should start with a message, much like the ones he has been giving to you. Make it long and slow. However, unlike him, I want you to include his genitals. Remember, long and slow.

Once you have massaged his back (and buttocks), turn him over and apply some nice soothing oil (or body lotion) to his chest and legs. DO NOT touch his genitals until you have finished with the rest of his body!

Starting Out

For most of you, this is all old stuff. That is, you may have already set up your Female Lead Relationship, or taken charge of your sex-lives, or whatever it is you needed to do to get where you are today, relationship-wise. But for those of you who have been sitting on the fence, or trying to figure out where to get the inner strength to take charge, this may be what you have been waiting for.

Let's start at the beginning... Maybe your hubby has been after you to take charge. Maybe he has pushed one or more of my books under your nose in an attempt to get you to read them. Maybe you have even read one or two, but still haven't convinced yourself that you can actually do it. Well, you won't have to wait after reading this post.

Whether or not your husband has been after you to take the lead in one way or another, let me give you some tips in which you can approach this that fits in with your idea of how things should be. You don't have to live up to some Internet-driven image of what a real Mistress is. You don't even have to try and please your husband by doing what he wants. Instead, try doing a few things that YOU want to do.