Masturbation -v- Sex (pt.1)

Physiology:

I have mentioned before, in my books, that a man's brain knows the difference between when he masturbates and when he has had actual sex. By “actual sex” I mean involving a second (or third, or fourth...) person. Let me be clear, there are physiological differences, as well as psychological, that impact his behavior after the fact.

When a man masturbates, the brain, for obvious reasons, knows there is no chance of that act resulting in procreation. Yes, even if you are jerking off into a test tube to produce an off-spring, the brain thinks there is no chance of inseminating a woman. The brain controls the body. Therefore, the body knows. And there is a difference in what happens.

When a man masturbates, he satisfies certain physical and mental desires, but not certain emotional and psychological needs of the body and brain. That explains why a man may masturbate on a regular basis, whether once every day or so, or more often. If he were to have actual sex, involving a partner, he may skip one or more of his regular masturbation sessions. The main reason for all this is that the brain/body releases different chemicals, endorphins, etc.

It's this difference that changes his overall desire for sex and his behavior after. The post sexual drop after masturbation is much less detrimental to the desire for repeated sexual activity. As you all know by now, if you have been denying a man the sexual release he wants for several days, weeks, or even months, the post sexual drop can last up to a couple of weeks. Whereas, if he simply masturbated on his own, the drop may not last more than a day. However, there is another factor involved... Fantasies!

I will explain how fantasy plays a part in this post sexual drop and how you can use it to your advantage, in my next post.

Mistress Ivey

How Long?

I think a great many women who end up putting their partners in chastity, for whatever reason, don't fully understand the tease and denial (T&D) aspect of sexual activities. If you ask any male how long a good tease session should last, you may very well get answers like, “As long as you can keep me hard,” or “At least an hour at a time.”

I am sure your chaste man would love for you tease him as long and as often as you can find the time, but who can really keep it up (pun intended) for that long? What I have found to be most effective, are shorter teases leading up to a longer (maybe 20-30 minutes) tease as the grand finale. Of course, if you can muster the energy for a 30-60 minute tease once every week or so, that's great! But for daily teasing, I recommend much shorter, more frequent sessions.

You wouldn't want your guy to top you from the bottom, simply by telling you he needs more attention, now would you? After all, we all know he wants far more attention than we are capable of giving him. So, pace yourself. Here are a few examples of simple, short teases you can do almost any time.

1. Call him on the phone and tell him the beginning to one of his favorite fantasies.
2. Stop him as he is passing through the room you are in and make him expose himself to you. You can fondle him, if you like, or have him fondle himself. This takes about two to five minutes, or as long as you would like it to take.
3. While watching TV have him fondle himself until he gets hard. Then reach over to make sure he did it right. Thank him for doing it for you and go back to watching your show.
4. Text him during the day and have him do something for you, such as going to a restroom and send you a photo of his cock, or maybe tell him to insert a butt-plug.
5. When you have just climbed into bed, and are too tired for a long tease session, fondle his balls until you tire of it, or fall asleep.

Remember, teasing does NOT necessarily lead to ejaculation. It's not called “Tease and Denial” for nothing!

Mistress Ivey

Get Real

I have written many fantasies, listened to,and read, many more. Fantasies are a wonderful thing, but... After all is said and done, they are still just fantasies. Many men fantasize about the “Perfect FLR” and what it would be like to live under the control of a powerful woman. But we all must live in a reality-based world.

So what is the reality of the “Perfect FLR”? What is truly practical, achievable, and logically livable FLR? These are questions that each couple must answer for themselves. But it must be done as a couple, not a single person.

Any couple who desires to move their relationship from a male controlled to a female controlled one, needs to be able to sit down and openly, and honestly discuss their expectations. If you can't talk with your partner about such things as sexual activity, daily routines, discipline and possibly punishment, then you have no business entering into such a relationship.

Many men I have spoken with over the past ten years, think they can simply turn over total, unilateral control of every aspect of their lives to their spouse without fear of failure. Let's be honest. That would be very impractical. Not just impractical, but irresponsible.

Please, if you truly want to shift your relationship to a female led one, put aside your fantasies, and look at everything openly and honestly. Be honest with yourself. If you simply can't, for whatever reason, wear a chastity device more than seven days in a row, say that. Don't fool yourself into thinking that your partner will automatically know this and never put you into a chastity device for any longer than that.

Fantasies are great. But let's be honest, fantasies are scary. That's their appeal. But you need to temper your fantasies with a healthy dose of reality. Please.

Mistress Ivey

Title Change

For reasons I don't really understand, I have been asked (for publication purposes) to change the name of the box set eBook and paperback that contains the entire (upgraded and enhanced) versions of all three volumes of 'The Marriage Counselor'.

So, I have decided to call it 'The Marriage Counselor – Complete Version' so that you can still tell that it is all three books plus upgrades and additions. I hope this will not cause any confusion for those of you who intend on purchasing one (or more) of these works of fiction.

Yes, the three original versions of the books are available NOW in both eBook and paperback (this time), and the new 'Complete Version' which contains all three books plus some additional material and better editing, will be available March 1st. However, you can only get the eBooks from Amazon this time. I had some problems with one of Smashwords distributors and it wasn't worth my time to make the necessary changes to suit one distributor. Thus, I am not using Smashwords for this release of the original eBooks. However, 'The Complete Version' eBook is available from Smashwords.

The paperbacks for the three original versions are only available from Amazon as well, but the 'Complete Version' is available from both Amazon and CreateSpace starting soon! You can pre-order a the eBook version from Amazon now and receive your copy on March 1, 2017 which is the scheduled release date for both eBook and paperback.

Thanks for your time.

Mistress Ivey