Abstinence and Prostate Cancer

I don’t know who wrote the comment, but on Amazon.com, someone wrote  in their review of A Keyholder’s Handbook that I am wrong about abstinence in men having no ill side effects. They quoted a study found in the American Medical Journal that says there is a direct link between abstinence and prostate cancer.

In fact, this person is correct about the article, but does not understand that the AMA (or AMJ) publishes studies and their results in order to entice other researchers to duplicate the study and the findings. The fact is, this was the only study that gave those results. Other studies have not been able to reproduce the same results. The fact is, the AMA knows more about what does NOT cause prostate cancer than they do about what does cause it.

Spanking & Paddling

I have been told by more than a few women that they are afraid of hurting their partner when the spank or paddle him. Well... You could if you really lay into him. But let me give you a few pointers to help you feel more comfortable.

1.      Always use a safe word. A safe word gives him the opportunity to stop you if you are hurting him. Some people will say that it gives him too much control. I say, “Hogwash!” It won't take you long to realize just how hard you can hit his upturned bottom. But in the meantime, if you are afraid of hurting him, it's a good idea,

2.     Watch and listen! You know how much he normally struggles and how loud he yells when you are spanking him. Listen for that especially distinct “Ouch!” that you hear when you know you have hit too hard. As long as he isn't doing that, you're OK.

3.     Hit the “Sweet-Spot!” The spot from where his bottom becomes his thighs and about halfway up (six inches?) his bottom. That is the “Sweet-Spot.” Odds are, you will do less damage hitting him there. Too high, you risk hitting his tail bone. Too low, and the pain will seem much greater because the thighs are more sensitive. (I know I will catch a lot of flak for that one, but I know I am right.)

Always start out slow and soft. Allow yourself to build up to the really hard hits. If you use your hand the first few times, you learn how it feels because you will feel it, too. By starting out more slowly, you will learn more quickly just how much he can take. If your goal to punish him so that he won't soon forget, use fewer, harder smacks. If your goal is more of a play thing, then start slow and let the pain build. Remember, if you can give pleasure while giving pain, he will be able to handle much more. His brain can't tell the difference, so start out by gently rubbing his bottom on a soothing, loving manner.

Another way to tell is to check your handiwork the next day. If it's not all purple, black and blue, then you certainly didn't hurt him. If it is, make sure there are no welts or blisters. These can be a sign that you went too far. By-the-way, if you make him take a nice HOT bath afterwards, you can be sure that the he won't forget too soon. After all, the longer the pain lingers, the longer he will remember it.

If the problem turns out to be your own feelings of guilt. Have a long and serious talk with your partner the next day. Ask him how it felt. Ask him if it was too much, or if he thinks he could take more. Many men enjoy spankings considerably. If your guy is one of those, then he will be honest with you.

I hope that helps those of you who were in doubt.

Mistress Ivey

Just For Fun

What do you say when your partner says, “I'll do anything if you will just let me cum!”? Try saying something like this:

• “Go masturbate on the front porch.”
• “Stand naked in the middle of the back yard and masturbate.”
• “Go masturbate on the neighbor's porch.”
• “Stand in the middle of the highway and masturbate.”
• “Masturbate in the neighbor's coy pond.”

If he doesn't want to do it, then tell him that he doesn't really need to cum, yet. Tell him he has an extra week in chastity just for asking. Or give him a choice, do what you asked or spend another week in chastity. The point here is, he doesn't “need” an orgasm. If he wants one badly enough, perhaps he will do as you requested.

EBook Sale

I would like to proudly announce that I have managed to reduce the price on ALL my eBooks to only $3.99 each through the first of the year. If you have been wanting any of my eBooks, but thought them a little too expensive, now’s the time to get in on this special pricing. If you buy from Amazon, and you also buy the paperback version of any of these books, their match-book price for the eBook will be only $1.99.

I want everyone who reads my blog to be able to read my eBooks as well. You can purchase any of these eBooks from Smashwords, Amazon, Apple iTunes, Barnes & Noble, Kobo, or anywhere you buy eBooks.

If you have been meaning to purchase one (or more) of my eBooks, now is the time to do it. Don’t put it off until it’s too late.

Mistress Ivey

Using Fantasy Effectively

There are things that your partner wants you to do to him, things he wants you to make him do, humiliating things, things he cannot tell you about. So how do you know what these things are? His fantasies!

Every man has sexual fantasies. It's a fact. In many of those fantasies he is “forced” to do things he would never do on his own. Things like cross-dressing, bi-sexual activities, and other humiliating things. These things are his secret fantasies. They are secret because he would be humiliated to tell you about them.

So how do find out what they are? You must find a way for him to relate his innermost secret fantasies. Those things he can't come right out and tell you. A good way to find out some of these fantasies is have him write you stories, or send you links to some stories online. Another way is to ask him to send you some erotic photos that depict things he fantasizes about.

Ultimate Guide to T&D

Yes, I have written another book. This one is aimed at everyone who enjoys sex and would like more of it, and those who don't like sex and would like to avoid having intercourse (too often). That might sound like I am shooting for the moon, but frankly, T&D is for everyone! You don't have to be a keyholder (or chaste), you don't have to be in an FLR (Female Lead Relationship), you just have to want to do more sexually without having more intercourse.

In effect, this book is for everyone, whether you are in a Female Led Relationship or not, whether you use chastity or not. If you are in a committed relationship, this book can make your sex life better, more enjoyable, even bring the two of you closer together. Everyone knows that once the fun goes out of your sex life, your marriage can start to go right along with it. Resentment might set in. And once that happens, you may think there is no way save your relationship. But you would be wrong. Tease and denial can be great fun for both of you. You can put some excitement back into your marriage and make it stronger than it was when you first started out.