Third Volume Available

Yes, I have finally released Mistress Ivey's Femdom Fantasies – Volume 3 for your enjoyment. This volume is even more focused on real-life situations than the previous two volumes. There are still some stories that are less than realistic, but these are fantasies, after all. (See the ad in the right-hand column.)

I especially enjoyed the one entitled Tea Time because it is a true story that involves a bit of humiliation along with being one of the more erotic tales in the book. Although, I think you may enjoy many of the other stories as well. I have many more submissions from readers and I will putting together at least one more volume for those of you who just can't get enough.

If you remember my series entitled The Marriage Counselor, I am doing a minor rewrite to the first three volumes and planning two more to follow. They will be back on the market as soon as I am happy with the rewrites.

Mistress Ivey

Discipline

I have found, over the years, that people don't always understand the difference between punishment and discipline. The fact is, there is no strict division between them. It can depend on many different things to different people.

I normally define discipline as a form of punishment that teaches a lesson of some sort. There are those who would argue that a severe spanking teaches a lesson, but I am not talking about that kind of lesson. For example, you can spank (or paddle) your sub for not making the bed the way you want it, but unless you spend a great deal of time making sure they can actually do it your way, they will never learn the lesson through corporal punishment (a spanking). You need to spend a little time helping them learn the correct of doing what you expect hem to do.

In our example, if showed your guy exactly how you want the bed to look, and he still keeps doing it wrong, it may be that he really doesn't understand it. If you stand over him, giving him detailed directions as he make the bed, then he has a better chance of getting it right. Now, if you make him repeat it a dozen times, THAT is discipline!

Many men, I have discovered, actually enjoy the occasional paddling. Because of that, I have adopted a more disciplinary approach when it comes to getting exactly what I want. I have found that making a guy repeat a task over and over until he gets it right (several times in a row) works quite well. Yes, it takes more of my time, and he enjoys the attention, but he is less likely to make the same mistake again.

That's my lesson for the today...

Mistress Ivey

Beware of On-line Keyholders

I know that may sound strange coming from a person who has been an online Keyholder before (and will be again) but I have recently become aware of some rather unscrupulous women (or possibly men) who would take you for all you are worth and leave you... Frustrated!

If a Keyholder demands that you purchase toys for her use (on you) from her (or from a specific website) you might want to watch your step. Asking you pay up to $900us or MORE for toys doesn't sound quite right to me. That's a great deal of YOUR money out of your pocket for who knows what!? It is not unreasonable for a Keyholder to want you to have certain toys at her disposal. However, there are always substitutes you can use or purchase.

If your prospective Mistress demands that you close all your “other” website accounts in favor of her own, or any specific website, she may be asking too much. After all, were you wanting this to be a permanent thing? Or were you just wanting to test the waters to see if she is the right Mistress for you? It's okay if she wants you to open a special website account on her (or any other website, but unless you are sure that she is “the one” for you, you may want to look elsewhere for a Keyholder.

If she immediately wants to take command of you and all you do, be careful. She make make other demands that are outside your limits later on. If she wants you to give her information about yourself that you would rather she (anyone else) not know, again, be careful. Personal, private information can turn out to be used for blackmail purposes. You don't want to get caught up in something like that.

Don't give out information about your personal finances, people you know (such as family or friends), and never give out your real address. If she wants you to give her your phone number, buy a cheap phone and use a service such as Net-10 or Straight-Talk, something you can walk into a gas station and purchase a time card for.

If she wants you to use something such as Skype, Yahoo messenger, or other video chat program, be extremely careful about what can be seen (or heard) in the background. Even letting her see your face (especially if she records your sessions) or required you send photos, can be devastating once she publishes them online. Once she has such photos, she can do anything she likes with them! Be aware of that!

You should be allowed to interview her for the job as much as she can you. Don't sign up with anyone who won't answer questions or allow you to have personal limits.

Mistress Ivey

FLR w/o BDSM?

Yes, you can have a female led relationship without BDSM. You will still need a certain amount of “Kink” though. But kink is something that varies from person to person. As the saying goes, “It's only kinky the first time.” Simply put, that means that once you have done something it becomes “old hat” as far as you are concerned.

If you are going to do an FLR right, there are two things that I believe are essential; 1) Chastity, to keep the guy from doing what he shouldn't; and 2) Tease and denial, because unless the guy is kept in an aroused state (as much as possible) he will lose interest in everything else.

Having said that, how you manage discipline, punishment (if at all), and control of your guy, is entirely up to you. You can get as kinky as you want (or not). I know one couple where the guy is not at all kinky but his wife is, to a greater extent. He wears a chastity belt to keep him in line and is teased on a regular basis. He does not get as many orgasms as he would like (unless you count ruined orgasms). He gets punished with a paddle when he needs it. Other than that, there really isn't any kink in their relationship. Well, he has rings on the sides of his chastity belt which are used to keep his hands from doing what they shouldn't whenever his cage is removed. Oh wait! That's a little kinky, isn't it?

Well however you look at it, besides the chastity and tease and denial, there does not need to be a great deal of kink involved in your relationship. And “chastity” does not mean you must use a device. There are a few men out there who don't need one. Some will actually obey their wives when told not to touch themselves, and some who just don't care to masturbate. Granted, these men are few and far between, but they do exist. But if your guy might masturbate when you are not around, then you will need some kind of device to keep him chaste.

And that's my lesson for the day...

Mistress Ivey