Tuesday, April 14, 2015

Beware of On-line Keyholders

I know that may sound strange coming from a person who has been an online Keyholder before (and will be again) but I have recently become aware of some rather unscrupulous women (or possibly men) who would take you for all you are worth and leave you... Frustrated!
If a Keyholder demands that you purchase toys for her use (on you) from her (or from a specific website) you might want to watch your step. Asking you pay up to $900us or MORE for toys doesn't sound quite right to me. That's a great deal of YOUR money out of your pocket for who knows what!? It is not unreasonable for a Keyholder to want you to have certain toys at her disposal. However, there are always substitutes you can use or purchase.
If your prospective Mistress demands that you close all your “other” website accounts in favor of her own, or any specific website, she may be asking too much. After all, were you wanting this to be a permanent thing? Or were you just wanting to test the waters to see if she is the right Mistress for you? It's okay if she wants you to open a special website account on her (or any other website, but unless you are sure that she is “the one” for you, you may want to look elsewhere for a Keyholder.
If she immediately wants to take command of you and all you do, be careful. She make make other demands that are outside your limits later on. If she wants you to give her information about yourself that you would rather she (anyone else) not know, again, be careful. Personal, private information can turn out to be used for blackmail purposes. You don't want to get caught up in something like that.
Don't give out information about your personal finances, people you know (such as family or friends), and never give out your real address. If she wants you to give her your phone number, buy a cheap phone and use a service such as Net-10 or Straight-Talk, something you can walk into a gas station and purchase a time card for.
If she wants you to use something such as Skype, Yahoo messenger, or other video chat program, be extremely careful about what can be seen (or heard) in the background. Even letting her see your face (especially if she records your sessions) or required you send photos, can be devastating once she publishes them online. Once she has such photos, she can do anything she likes with them! Be aware of that!
You should be allowed to interview her for the job as much as she can you. Don't sign up with anyone who won't answer questions or allow you to have personal limits.

Mistress Ivey


  1. Yes, I agree with everything you have said. There are too many women who pretend to be in the lifestyle for the money. Before becoming aware of my husband's submissive side he spent thousands on dominatrix. In a sense he got what he paid for, but it was at a cost. Love, Kathy

  2. I being a pro-Domme, more in person than online, first I'd like to say great post! Online can be a awesome or ugly with never ending consequences if you don't find the right lady. But being in the biz of facilitator to fantasies, I want to say there are good dominatrixes out there. I agree with u on most accounts in this post, but there are some things that even a reputable domme is going to want. I do ask my guys to purchase thru my online, toy store... but its, no different than, your toy store Miss Ivey. Chastity devices are something you can research, so if, she suggests her store and the prices are not out of range from the research you do its probably ok to purchase, thru her affiliate store. I have an extensive questionaire I ask all my online clients to fill out, why because it's hard to dominate someone online with little to none info on someone who is seeking you to control them even if it is just the orgasms you still have to have enough information to get into their head. As for tasks we will ask you to do tasks, mine are all related to chastity and orgasm denial stuff, but yes I will ask that you send proof that you did your assignments... not unreasonable. The biggest problem with online tends to be money. Yes, your online mistress is going to desire compensation for the time she devotes to you personally. This shouldn't be a surprise though. Any mistress on the up and up will have a contract that spells out the arrangements as far as cost, how many tasks and interactive activities as well as face time you will get with her during the time you are locked up.
    I suggest you don't use key locks the first time you do this with someone. Use the plastic numbered locks as it just makes better sense to not have to wait for a key to be mailed back to you. It requires bolt cutters to cut thru a padlock if the key doesn't make it back. When it's your significant other that's different. I'd do my research on the domme before you enter into a arrangement with her. If her website is geared towards Financial Domination you can be sure she is gonna be wired to extract the most funds out of you as possible, but not all of us are financially trying to drain you men. I don't offer financial domination services though I have had a couple men who wanted to be dominated in that way. It's a real fetish though so I judge not. I put good time and attn into my clients and this is a service I offer those who can't get it from their spouse. Heck I would rather teach the wife how to dominate her husband or significant other so that he gets the benefit of face to face time with one that he loves and you both can share in the kink together because ultimately that seems to be the goal of the man but many women just don't want to be into this and it's those men don't get this opportunity that I provide a service for and no I don't do it for free but lawyers don't provide their services for free neither do doctors or Haircutters or life coaches Or personal trainers Etc ... you get where I am coming from. We are all not bad just because we're pros and I wanted to represent that side of the coin but Miss Ivey this is a great post and you do share a lot of great tips on how to keep yourself safe in online situation that has room for a lot of fakes and unscrupulous people.
    Kinky regards,
    Ms. Noir

    1. Ms. Noir,
      Thanks for your input. I know there are many women who are willing to hold the keys for men who have no other recourse. I have, myself. You are correct in everything you have said. The only place we differ is that I don't "require" my subs to purchase anything from my toy store. They may, if they wish, purchase them elsewhere. But then, I don't make much off that site anyway. So for me, it doesn't make much difference.
      Thank you for your support and kind words. I hope together we can get some of these men to use their heads when selecting an on-line keyholder.