Cuckold Caution

I have received several emails (while off-line) asking me about cuckolding. There seems to be, and rightfully so, a great deal of concern about the effects, or consequences, it might have on a relationship.

In general, cuckolding can be very destructive to a relationship. I'm not saying that it is (or will be) destructive to every relationship, but of all the activities centered around tease and denial, or male chastity, it has the greatest potential to destroy a relationship more than any other singe activity.

Many submissive men involved in male chastity have fantasies about their spouse (be it Mistress, girlfriend, or what have you) making love to another man while they are forced to watch, or even participate on various levels. Those fantasies can turn into nightmares when they become reality. For a small percentage of couples, cuckolding works, even enhances a relationship. However, in most cases, the green-eyed monster (jealousy) rears its ugly head and, before you know it, someone gets hurt.

So, your guy talked you into practicing in male chastity and some tease and denial. It has all been going so well (lots of fun for the both of you), until he told you that he wants to watch another man make love to you. Regardless of how you feel about it, he has just expressed his fantasy to be cuckolded. Once you get passed the initial shock, what do you do?

Here are a few things that can go wrong:

• He may love the idea, but become very jealous once his fantasy becomes reality.
• He may enjoy it for awhile, but grow angry when he sees you enjoying another man.
• He may withdraw with feelings of having been betrayed by the woman be loves.

Any of these things could ruin an otherwise wonderful relationship. So what can you do to satisfy his fantasies without destroying your relationship?

First of all, and I cannot emphasize this enough, take it SLOW! Don't rush right out and find a guy who is willing take part in your partner's fantasies. I suggest that you build his fantasies during teasing sessions. Tease him mentally by telling him you have been thinking about making his fantasies come true. Talk seriously about it with him. Not just once, but many times. Find out exactly what kind of cuckolding he would accept. That is, does he want to be forced to watch, maybe even participate, or would he want you to date other guys while he sits at home wondering what you are doing and with whom? An “out of sight” type of cuckolding may not seem as bad, but leaving everything to his imagination can end up being just as destructive. So proceed with caution.

If you have decided to go ahead and experiment with cuckolding, I suggest you fake it the first time or two. By that I mean, go out while he sits at home. Tell him you are going on a date with some other guy, but don't actually do it. Go to your mother's and pay her some attention for a change. (She will probably appreciate the visit.) When you return home, you can tell him what a wonderful time you had on your “date”. If he then decides he can't handle it, you can tell him the truth and even provide a witness to attest to the fact that you did not have sex with another man.

If he is okay with your story, then you can move on to the next level and actually go on a date. Of course, I would suggest you NOT have sex on this date either. You can simply have dinner or a few drinks, but you don't want to do anything that might damage your relationship. In other words, proceed slowly! Just because your partner seems okay with everything so far, does not mean that his negative feelings won't catch up with him after a few days (or even weeks).

I strongly recommend, no matter what type of cuckolding you are doing, that you be ready to quit cold turkey if anything goes wrong. It's always better to be prepared for the worst than push-on when things get rough.

In most cases, the chaste male is more likely to be better off keeping cuckolding fantasies as fantasy than reality. You can use his fantasies any time you tease and deny him. You can use them when you want him to behave, either as a threat or as a promise. Just be prepared for the worst if you decide to try it for real.

Mistress Ivey