Fun With CBT

I get a great number of questions regarding cock and ball torture (CBT) and I am never quite sure how to answer them. While some men may thoroughly enjoy one type of CBT, another type might really put them off. Then there is the inherent danger. The penis and testicles (cock and balls) can be quite delicate. That is, they can be permanently damaged if you are not careful.

Having said that, let's take a look a few things you can do as long as you take care NOT to over do any of them. That is, don't go to extremes. If in doubt, don't do it.

Weights: Adding weights to a man's balls in order to cause slight (or severe) pain is a common method of CBT. The easiest way to accomplish this is simply to wrap a thin rope or string (I like using round boot laces) around the ball sack just above the balls several times and tie it off. If you have enough string left at both ends you can tie them together forming a loop under the balls. To this loop, you can attach weights. Purchase your weights in the fishing aisle of your favorite department store. They come in many different sizes and can be attached to the string using Christmas tree ornament hooks.

There are a number of apparatae (apparatuses?) that can be purchased from just about any online sex shop to make this easier. But I don't recommend you spend a great deal of money on something you discover you don't want to use. There are 'parachutes' that work well. They consist of a conical-shaped piece of leather with (usually) three chains that attach to a ring. These chains dangle below the balls and you attach your weights to the ring. Whatever you choose to do, PLEASE start out slow. Don't go adding a 25Lb weight your first time out. Start with something that only weighs a few ounces first.

Binding: Using the same string I described above, you can tie up your guy's jewels just about any way you like. You can get fancy by wrapping his penis from tip to base. You can make a fishnet type binding, or you can just tie a string to the tip and see how much weight he can “list” when he gets really turned on. Of course you can always involve the balls when binding the penis. Just don't leave it on him all day unless you have tied him loosely (what fun would that be?). Anytime you start binding the cock and balls you risk cutting off the flow of blood. That can be dangerous. So limit the time you leave any bindings on.

Motor-Boat: This is fun (for you, not so much him) thing to try. Wrap a string around his cock starting at the base and working your way to the tip. Don't tie either end to anything. Once you have him all wrapped up, take the end nearest the tip and pull it straight out from his body. It's like pulling the string to start a motor-boat, thus, the name. It's fun and reasonably harmless.

Electro-shock: This is my personal favorite. You can purchase (yes you have to buy something for this one) any number of types and styles of electro-shock devices. Most online sex toy stores carry a variety of them. By attaching the electrodes to various places on and around his genitals, you can achieve all sorts of results. Most devices have the capability to adjust the intensity of the shock and/or the waveform used. All I can tell you about this type of CBT is that it is FUN! Just make sure you ALWAYS turn down the settings before trying it in a new spot. (I learned that from experience.)

Clips & Clamps: There are many other types of CBT as well. Try waxing the hair off his balls, applying some duct tape, or just sticking some regular tape to the hairy spots. Ripping it off is so much fun and fairly harmless. You can use any of a number of clips and clamps made especially for CBT (or nipples) but my favorite of these is that old standby... clothespins. I recommend the cheap ones because they have weaker springs.

I DO NOT recommend hitting, his balls with anything. Gentle slaps or finger thumps should be your limit. Serious injury can result from anything harder. He may be able to take the pain, but his genitals may not take the damage well.

CBT can be fun when you do it right. Just don't risk doing damage and you should be fine.

Mistress Ivey

To Milk or Not to Milk

I have written about this subject several times, but it has become clear to me that many of you, especially those of you who are new to it, are having difficulty with prostate milking. First of all, let's get one thing clear... There has been a great deal of discussion about the value and purpose of prostate milking. I have not been able to find one definitive study on the subject of prostate milking for health reasons. One camp says that if a guy is not allowed to ejaculate for an extended period he should have his prostate milked (for health reasons). On the other hand, I have found no proof that any damage is caused from prolonged abstinence. In other words, do it if you think you need to, don't if you don't want to. I know for a fact that many men (past and present) who practice abstinence with no side effects what so ever. So I don't feel it is a serious problem.

Having gotten that out of the way, let me talk about 'blue-balls' for a second. I'll bet you didn't know that blue-balls is actually a short term malady that effects men when they first start tease and denial. Yep. When you stimulate the male cock into arousal and don't allow it release, his semen will build up in his system as his body prepares itself over and over again for release that never comes (pun intended). But after a while, his body gets used to not being able to release all that excess semen and it quits making so much. It takes from one to two weeks for this to happen, but once it does, his blue-balls will go away.

So what can prostate milking do for you (or him)? Simply put, it can relieve his body of excess semen so that it will once again begin to think it needs to replenish the supply. In other words, he can get blue-balls again! Blue-balls are not as bad as people might like to think. They are an aching in the groin (and possibly the balls) that makes his balls more sensitive to the touch (or the punch, as might be the case).

So what does all this mean to you? Nothing really, but if you want to practice prostate milking for any number of reasons, including, but not limited to, humiliation, be my guest. The problem I most often hear from women who try is trouble getting anything out. First of all, don't stick your finger in as far as you can get it (unless you have pretty short fingers). When you can feel the sphincter tighten around your second knuckle, you are probably in far enough. It may take you many tries before you get the hang of it, and don't expect to get copious amounts of ejaculate every time, especially when you are just starting out. I read a Doctor's note about that once and in it he stated that five or six drops is about all you will get on someone who does not practice it often.

So, in conclusion, use lots of lubricant, wear protective gloves, and try it for at least 10 minutes as often as you can. Before long, you will become good at it. Once you have done it successfully, you will know what works best on your guy. So keep practicing even though you may not get results. The humiliation of having it done (successful or not) will be enough to keep your guy happy.

Mistress Ivey

Stifling His Orgasms

Thumbing His Orgasm

Hopefully, by now, you have learned how to ruin his orgasms by stopping all stimulation to his cock. Now let's take a look at another fun thing to do. I call it 'Stifling' an orgasm. It's really another way to ruin an orgasm, but different. The objective here is to stimulate him enough for him to shoot his ejaculate hard, but still prevent him from doing it.

There are several ways to accomplish a stifled orgasm. The easiest is probably the thumb method. When your guy gets ready to shoot that load simply press your thumb firmly over the hole in the tip of his cock. Press FIRMLY and hold it until all the jerking, or spasms, stop. It may take about 30 seconds or so, just be patient. Once you release your hold on his cum, it may squirt one time, but that should it. The rest, if any, will simply ooze out.

Another method is to squeeze the tip of his cock with your thumb and forefinger on either side. No, not the top and bottom as you might expect. If you do it right, and squeeze only the tip, you find it easy to stifle his ejaculation. Again, when you finally release your hold on his cock, he may squirt once and then dribble for a few seconds. It's fun to watch.

A third method is to cover the tip of his cock with the palm of one hand (called palming) while holding his cock steady with the other hand. Again, press firmly and don't let go until all the spasms stop. The advantage to this method is that you can continue stroking his cock with one hand while using the other to stop his ejaculate from coming out. He may squirt a bit when remove your hand, but that's okay. You were successful if the rest of it dribbles out.

My final method for stifling an orgasm is to squeeze the base of his shaft tightly when reaches the point of no return. This will force his ejaculate to back up into his bladder or something, but it won't hurt him. It is perfectly safe to stifle an orgasm, no matter how you do it (short of putting his cock in a vice). If you wait until all the spasms stop, he may not do anything. That is, you might get a little cum oozing out and you may not. Either way, you were successful!

Stifling an orgasm can be slightly painful for some men. It's not excruciating or anything, it can make him uncomfortable for a few seconds. Don't worry, it won't harm him. A little pain should not put you off of stifling his orgasms. I am told that the pain is not bad enough (at least in most men) that they can't take it.

Finally, stifling orgasms is fun. Almost as much fun as ruining one. Most of the time you can still continue to tease him because he shouldn't lose all of his desire to continue. If he does, it won't last as long as having a full orgasm would.

Happy stifling, all!

Mistress Ivey

More Ruined Orgasms

Nothing pleases me more than when I ruin a guy's orgasm. I have written much on the subject here, but I would like to give you some quick tips on doing it yourself.

If you enjoy edging your guy, that is bringing him as close to an orgasm as you can and then stopping (or pausing) for a moment so he can relax and back off a bit, then you are already half way there. My first tip is try it by edging. It doesn't matter how many times you stroke his cock, as long as you stop for a minute or more to let him back off from the edge. Even if he has not quite reached it, you have been successful and he will enjoy it.

If you DO manage to get him right up to the edge, then you have reached that perfect point. The point where, just one more stroke (or two) will send him over the edge, shooting his ejaculate all over the place. So what you need to do, is pay close attention to everything he does. The more you are able to repeat the process, the better you will get at determining exactly when to stop.

Here's a little hint: keep an eye on his hips. If he tenses his hip muscles (raises up slightly if laying down), he may be getting very close and it's a good time to back off. If he lowers his hips below the normal resting position, look out. He may be ready to shoot and it may even be too late.

The key here is practice. Practice makes perfect. Practice is fun! He will love it, and if you don't stop in time to watch his ejaculate simply drip from his cock, well, there is always next time. Like I said, practice is fun. If you stop too soon, keep trying. And remember, if you succeed, you can try again right away. If you fail and he cums hard enough to “shoot”, then you will need to wait a day (or at least a few hours) to allow him to recuperate.

So have fun, and don't stress out if you fail the first few times out. You will eventually get the hang of it and you will learn exactly what to watch for. Every man is different, so I can't give you all the specific signs to watch for, you'll have to figure them out for yourself. But don't forget to have fun doing it.

Mistress Ivey

Stifled Orgasms

I have done a great deal of writing about ruined orgasms (my favorite kind). But I think I have to redefine them just a bit. I have come the the conclusion that some orgasms, while not allowed to expend their ejaculate in a 'normal' manner, are not quite the same as real ruined orgasm.

What I am talking about needs a bit of explanation. When I talk about a ruined orgasm, I am speaking about one that is allowed to happen all on it's own. It will not squirt, spurt or shoot as a normal orgasm. It will, in fact, only dribble out. The only way I have found to achieve this type of orgasm is to simply allow it to happen without touching the cock at all. That is, when that all important, crucial moment arrives (often called the point of no return) and no further stimulation of any kind is given, the ejaculate will simply dribble out.

However, if you stop the orgasm by squeezing the tip, shaft or base of the cock, you have not, technically, ruined the orgasm. Though it may not be what your guy wanted, it still allows his system to pump all it can as hard as it can, it just doesn't come out. It will be blocked from squirting, spurting, or otherwise shooting out as in a normal orgasm. That's why I call these “stifled orgasms.”

The only difference between a stifled orgasm and a full orgasm (one that is allowed to squirt, spurt and shoot out) is the fact the the stifled orgasm isn't allowed to come out until all the hard pushing is done. The fact that a full orgasm results in a decrease in sexual desire is also present in the stifled orgasm. Therefore, for all intents and purposes, a stifled orgasm is a full orgasm that was not allowed to exit the body with any force.

A ruined orgasm, on the other hand, is not a full orgasm because no matter how much the subject tries to push his ejaculate out with force, he is simply unable to do so. This then, leaves him totally unsatisfied and wanting more. Wanting more is the goal of the ruined orgasm, isn't it?

So from now on I will refer to only three types of orgasm; full, stifled, and ruined. I apologize for any past confusion this may cause, but in the future, things should be much more clear.

Mistress Ivey

P.S. Just received a comment from a long-time reader. He tells me that the loss of desire from a Stifled orgasm does not last nearly as long as that of a full orgasm. This is good news and I thought I should get the word out. He says, in his case at least, it only lasts for about an hour. So I stand corrected. Thanks, Tom.

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Teasing with Tenga

I know I have talked about this before, but I feel it bares repeating. Not only that, but there are always new ways of doing things. I am always looking for new and different ways of teasing my husband (and his cock) sexually. Maybe because I find it to be so much fun. Or maybe because I don't want to get bored with doing the same old thing all the time. So here is something I have found that I think works really well.

There are a large number of chastity enthusiasts who enjoy a little humiliation along with their chastity. Just having your subbie/hubbie stand in front of you and masturbate can be a very humbling experience for most men. This is one time I don't recommend a blindfold. He should be able to see you watching him do his own thing.

Masturbation is a very personal, and often private, thing, especially to a man. He might admit that he does it. He might even admit what type of porn he uses to do it. But to have someone actually watch him do it, especially if she is giving him orders, can be quite humiliating and very erotic at the same time.

There is one item that I think really adds to any tease and denial session as well as to any masturbation sessions you might have you man perform for you, and that is the Tenga Egg. For those of you are unfamiliar with this particular product, I have included a video below.

By using one of these eggs on your man's cock, you can give him quite a ride. You can twist it, pull it down and guide it back up until he is ready to shoot his load, then stop. Allow him ample time to rest before continuing. The best part of all, should he ejaculate without your permission, you can continue playing with the egg and it will drive him mad! A little bit of Post Orgasm Torment, if you will. Of course, it is also a great idea to use one if you are trying for a second, or even third, orgasm of the day. He will achieve it much more quickly if you use a Tenga Egg for those second and/or third orgasms.

If you are making him masturbate for you as a humiliation or punishment, a Tenga Egg can be so much more humiliating than just his own hand. He will, of course, have to stop on command. You don't want him pushing himself over the edge, now do you?

Anyway, give humiliating him through masturbation some thought if you haven't already. Then consider finding new and different ways of making him do it for you. If he has to do it too often, or always in the same way, he will become too used to it and it will no longer be humiliating. We don't want that, now do we?

Mistress Ivey

See our entire selection of Tenga Eggs here

Role Play

There is one area of chastity play that I have left out in my blog. That's because most people who get involved in chastity play (or reality) don't often us it, and that's a shame. It's called Role Play.

It is up to the Mistress (or whatever you call yourself) to control all the teasing that goes on with you and your chaste partner. However, coming up with new and exciting ways of doing it can be a daunting task. I mean, you can bind him, remove his chastity device, and tease him in any way you like, but doing the same thing each time can, eventually, become boring. Just as with any other kind of sex, variety is the spice of life. But figuring out new and different ways of teasing a man's cock can be a difficult at best. If you do the same thing (or even several things) too often, then some of the fun and excitement will become routine. And that's no good!

Role play adds a whole new aspect to the world of tease and denial. For example; You could pretend to be a mall cop and you have apprehended a shoplifter (your partner). You can bind him, you can make him undress, you can even remove his chastity device if you like (but it's not necessary). Then you can do anything you like, such as masturbate in front of him, have him do it for you, or even allow him to please you orally if you like. How the story unfolds can be different every time you play. The point is, you have just added a bit of variety to your teasing that will be much appreciated by the both of you.

Another popular scenario is the cop and the fugitive. Suppose you have to interrogate a suspect in an robbery. Perhaps you want to know the location of the loot he stole. You can do anything you like to your prisoner to get the information out of him. In the end, you give him an orgasm (ruined or otherwise) for giving up the information. Or, you could keep him on the edge as long as you like if you are not happy with the information he is giving you.

Another popular role play scenario is Doctor/patient (or nurse/patient) as the case may be. Of course you would play the role of the Doctor or nurse while your chaste partner becomes your patient. Here, again, there are any number of things you can do ranging from a physical exam (very in-depth) to prostate milking, or anything in between.

Without going into a long list of scenes you can use for your role playing, I'll leave it to your own imagination, or you can research it on the net. It's up to you. But by adding role play to your repertoire of teasing methods, you have a million new ways to tease and add excitement to your sexual experience.

Mistress Ivey

P.S. Click here for some Role Play ideas.