Getting Over Shyness

I get so many letters from women, most of whom are just starting some kind of Female Led Relationship (FLR), asking how to overcome their shyness. Maybe they have been asked to use a certain amount of verbal humiliation or, perhaps, they are not comfortable “talking” during their tease sessions. I personally went through a period of this kind of shyness when I was starting out so many years ago.

It can be difficult knowing what to say, especially if your partner wants you to humiliate him in some way. Perhaps he wants you to tell him how tiny his cock is, or what a poor excuse of a man he is for some reason. Or, maybe he just wants you to talk “dirty” to him while you are physically teasing him.

The solution to this problem is simple. Don't fret or worry about your “performance.” If you force yourself to do and/or say the kinds of things he wants, it will eventually become second nature and you will look back and wonder what all the fuss was about. You will learn to do it. It's like learning to ride a bicycle. It may take a few days or so for you to get comfortable with it, but eventually you will be good at it.

The worst thing you can do is worry about it. Stop worrying and just do it. Remember, this is the man with whom you have shared your deepest feelings. The man you let into the bathroom when you are peeing. The man who sees you naked every day. So why is it so hard to say a few negative or sexual things to him when you know he wants you to?

If it helps, you can try practicing in front of a mirror. A full length mirror works well. Or, if you want, you can imagine that you are playing a part, acting, in other words. You can think of this as simply a part in a play of sorts. Put simply, your fear is all in your head. You simply need to become comfortable with your role as Mistress (or whatever) and you will do fine.

All you really need is the right attitude. Take a lesson from the woman in the picture at the right. Does she look like she has a problem being in charge? If you look the part, you will feel the part. And practice makes perfect!

Mistress Ivey