The True Femdom

I have read a great deal of late concerning Femdom and BDSM as it relates to chastity and the average couple. I would like to take a step back and help you to understand how what I profess is different than what you see on most of the Internet and TV or even in the movies.

I had a friend ask me if I thought HBO, Showtime, or Max would ever do a show about Femdom. My answer was “yes and no” simply because of they way they do it. Companies like these only want to incorporate things like chastity or Femdom if they can appeal to the desires of the masses. By that I mean, they want the sensational not the mundane. So would they do a show about Femdom or Female Led Relationships? Yes, but would they show these things as they truly are or would they only show the preconceived notions that already exist.

For example, sitting in a restaurant, looking at the other patrons, it's fun to wonder which might be in a Femdom or FL relationship. For example, is that guy over there in the suit wearing a butt-plug his wife inserted before they left the house? What about the fellow over there? Is he eating what his wife ordered for him even though it may not be what he wanted? Those are the people living a Femdom relationship. You may not be able to tell them from any other couple on the street, but they are there.

If you watch their behavior long enough, you might get a clue or two. He might open doors for his wife, or pull out her chair, or even stand when she gets up from the table. He might open her car door before walking to the other side to drive. You might hear him say, “yes, Ma'am” several times during their conversation. Yes, a great deal of things might be indicators, or they might simply be a sign of good manners. It's hard to tell. But that is my point.

Just because the woman is not dressed in a leather corset with fishnet stockings, high heels, or carrying a riding crop, does not mean they are not into BDSM, Femdom, or FLR at some level. You can't judge a couple by what you see, or don't see. But just because you are into these sorts of things, does not mean that you have to flaunt it. In fact, I don't see why a woman in an FLR or who considers herself a Femdom, would ever have to dress up like that.

So don't be put off of male chastity, or FLR's or even BDSM simply because of what you see on the internet, or HBO. Do what you are comfortable with and disregard the rest.

Mistress Ivey

Ruining Orgasms

I have said, time and again, a ruined orgasm is a joy to behold. But I still get questions concerning how it is done, what it looks like, and how to know if it was ruined or not. So, let's start at the beginning...

Your first indication that your partner's orgasm was ruined will be the disappointment he exhibits. He may strain and try his best to make it feel like a real orgasm, but he will fail. His ejaculate will simply dribble out (as in the photo on the right) and he will not feel the usual thrust he gets on that that first “blast” or two. Instead, though try as he may, he will not get that satisfying feeling he is used to. On the upside, because he has not been satisfied, he will not want to stop.

At this point, since he is still aroused, he will be willing to do just about anything for you in order to achieve that satisfied feeling. He will be willing to do things that, normally after an orgasm, he would not want to do. You see, since he has not been sexually satisfied, he will still feel all the same urges he felt BEFORE the ruined orgasm. So now would be a good time to have him lick up, or drink his ejaculate. After all, he is still sexually excited and wants you to give him another chance.

The key to ruining any orgasm is to stop all stimulation at the last possible moment. Don't be afraid to experiment with this. It may take you several tries to get it right. But if you stop too soon, you have not lost anything, you have only managed to edge him. He will enjoy that, too. Give him a chance rest, maybe twenty seconds or so, and start again. It's the build up that gives him the most pleasure, so don't be afraid to make it last as long as you like.

The idea is for the both of you to have fun with it. If it becomes a chore for you, then you need to look for new and different ways of teasing his penis in order to reach the desired level of arousal. Try to come up with something new every time you do it. After all, variety is the spice of kink.

Mistress Ivey

Hose Him!

Here is an idea a came across the other day. Have you ever used a nylon (or even silk) stocking to tease your man? I don't mean wearing a pair of them. I mean using it to tease and torment him with the intention of denying his orgasm!

If you want to do it right, you start off with a brand new (never been worn) stocking. No, pantyhose just wont do the trick. You need a single stocking. Color does not matter, neither does the size. So you can run into your favorite store and pick up any cheap pair of stockings for this. Old, or already worn, stockings will work, but you won't get the same effect a brand new stocking can give you. You want that “flat” out of the package feel.

Strap your guy down (at least bind his hands) and simply drag the stocking over his body. Drag it over his chest, his stomach, his face, and even his legs, before you venture into his most sensitive areas. Dragging it over his penis and balls, will drive him absolutely crazy with erotic desire. And that is, of course, your maid goal. There are very few men who will be able to ejaculate with such light stimulation. But if you are afraid your guy will, then don't drag it over his crotch very often.

If you do this for over fifteen minutes, chances are, you will have him begging you to touch with something less soft. That is, he will want you to use your hand, a heavy sock, or SOMETHING to give him more stimulation. But the longer you hold out, the more fun you will have watching him squirm and writhe while he begs for more.

Mistress Ivey

Speaking of Male Chastity

I apologize for not being on-line or posting recently. Our son has been going through a rough patch with his epilepsy this past week. It is not over yet, but we hope it soon will be. In the mean time, here is something to think about...

I got to thinking about male chastity the other day while watching a news show on TV. A thought occurred to me... What if all men were placed in chastity on the day they enter puberty? How would that change the world?

First of all, there would be no more “rape” in the usual manner. Oh, I know that there is more than one way to rape a woman, or a man for that matter. But it would certainly cut down on the usual kind of rape. Wouldn't it?

There would be no more teen pregnancies, willing girl or not. Teaching sex education in the schools would also not be a problem anymore. Who would object? I mean when they know their kids won't be having sex anyway, why would they object?

The parents would hold the keys until the boy (man?) was married off. Then, of course, his bride would get the keys on her wedding day. Now wouldn't that make the world look a bit different? We might even see men being led down the street on leashes... Attached to their chastity cages? Women of all walks of life would begin to see how much better their life could be if they locked their men in chastity from the start. Perhaps it would make a good story-line for a work of fiction?

Hmmm... Oh well, maybe some day.

Mistress Ivey