Stifling His Orgasms

Thumbing His Orgasm

Hopefully, by now, you have learned how to ruin his orgasms by stopping all stimulation to his cock. Now let's take a look at another fun thing to do. I call it 'Stifling' an orgasm. It's really another way to ruin an orgasm, but different. The objective here is to stimulate him enough for him to shoot his ejaculate hard, but still prevent him from doing it.

There are several ways to accomplish a stifled orgasm. The easiest is probably the thumb method. When your guy gets ready to shoot that load simply press your thumb firmly over the hole in the tip of his cock. Press FIRMLY and hold it until all the jerking, or spasms, stop. It may take about 30 seconds or so, just be patient. Once you release your hold on his cum, it may squirt one time, but that should it. The rest, if any, will simply ooze out.

Another method is to squeeze the tip of his cock with your thumb and forefinger on either side. No, not the top and bottom as you might expect. If you do it right, and squeeze only the tip, you find it easy to stifle his ejaculation. Again, when you finally release your hold on his cock, he may squirt once and then dribble for a few seconds. It's fun to watch.

A third method is to cover the tip of his cock with the palm of one hand (called palming) while holding his cock steady with the other hand. Again, press firmly and don't let go until all the spasms stop. The advantage to this method is that you can continue stroking his cock with one hand while using the other to stop his ejaculate from coming out. He may squirt a bit when remove your hand, but that's okay. You were successful if the rest of it dribbles out.

My final method for stifling an orgasm is to squeeze the base of his shaft tightly when reaches the point of no return. This will force his ejaculate to back up into his bladder or something, but it won't hurt him. It is perfectly safe to stifle an orgasm, no matter how you do it (short of putting his cock in a vice). If you wait until all the spasms stop, he may not do anything. That is, you might get a little cum oozing out and you may not. Either way, you were successful!

Stifling an orgasm can be slightly painful for some men. It's not excruciating or anything, it can make him uncomfortable for a few seconds. Don't worry, it won't harm him. A little pain should not put you off of stifling his orgasms. I am told that the pain is not bad enough (at least in most men) that they can't take it.

Finally, stifling orgasms is fun. Almost as much fun as ruining one. Most of the time you can still continue to tease him because he shouldn't lose all of his desire to continue. If he does, it won't last as long as having a full orgasm would.

Happy stifling, all!

Mistress Ivey

More Ruined Orgasms

Nothing pleases me more than when I ruin a guy's orgasm. I have written much on the subject here, but I would like to give you some quick tips on doing it yourself.

If you enjoy edging your guy, that is bringing him as close to an orgasm as you can and then stopping (or pausing) for a moment so he can relax and back off a bit, then you are already half way there. My first tip is try it by edging. It doesn't matter how many times you stroke his cock, as long as you stop for a minute or more to let him back off from the edge. Even if he has not quite reached it, you have been successful and he will enjoy it.

If you DO manage to get him right up to the edge, then you have reached that perfect point. The point where, just one more stroke (or two) will send him over the edge, shooting his ejaculate all over the place. So what you need to do, is pay close attention to everything he does. The more you are able to repeat the process, the better you will get at determining exactly when to stop.

Here's a little hint: keep an eye on his hips. If he tenses his hip muscles (raises up slightly if laying down), he may be getting very close and it's a good time to back off. If he lowers his hips below the normal resting position, look out. He may be ready to shoot and it may even be too late.

The key here is practice. Practice makes perfect. Practice is fun! He will love it, and if you don't stop in time to watch his ejaculate simply drip from his cock, well, there is always next time. Like I said, practice is fun. If you stop too soon, keep trying. And remember, if you succeed, you can try again right away. If you fail and he cums hard enough to “shoot”, then you will need to wait a day (or at least a few hours) to allow him to recuperate.

So have fun, and don't stress out if you fail the first few times out. You will eventually get the hang of it and you will learn exactly what to watch for. Every man is different, so I can't give you all the specific signs to watch for, you'll have to figure them out for yourself. But don't forget to have fun doing it.

Mistress Ivey

Stifled Orgasms

I have done a great deal of writing about ruined orgasms (my favorite kind). But I think I have to redefine them just a bit. I have come the the conclusion that some orgasms, while not allowed to expend their ejaculate in a 'normal' manner, are not quite the same as real ruined orgasm.

What I am talking about needs a bit of explanation. When I talk about a ruined orgasm, I am speaking about one that is allowed to happen all on it's own. It will not squirt, spurt or shoot as a normal orgasm. It will, in fact, only dribble out. The only way I have found to achieve this type of orgasm is to simply allow it to happen without touching the cock at all. That is, when that all important, crucial moment arrives (often called the point of no return) and no further stimulation of any kind is given, the ejaculate will simply dribble out.

However, if you stop the orgasm by squeezing the tip, shaft or base of the cock, you have not, technically, ruined the orgasm. Though it may not be what your guy wanted, it still allows his system to pump all it can as hard as it can, it just doesn't come out. It will be blocked from squirting, spurting, or otherwise shooting out as in a normal orgasm. That's why I call these “stifled orgasms.”

The only difference between a stifled orgasm and a full orgasm (one that is allowed to squirt, spurt and shoot out) is the fact the the stifled orgasm isn't allowed to come out until all the hard pushing is done. The fact that a full orgasm results in a decrease in sexual desire is also present in the stifled orgasm. Therefore, for all intents and purposes, a stifled orgasm is a full orgasm that was not allowed to exit the body with any force.

A ruined orgasm, on the other hand, is not a full orgasm because no matter how much the subject tries to push his ejaculate out with force, he is simply unable to do so. This then, leaves him totally unsatisfied and wanting more. Wanting more is the goal of the ruined orgasm, isn't it?

So from now on I will refer to only three types of orgasm; full, stifled, and ruined. I apologize for any past confusion this may cause, but in the future, things should be much more clear.

Mistress Ivey

P.S. Just received a comment from a long-time reader. He tells me that the loss of desire from a Stifled orgasm does not last nearly as long as that of a full orgasm. This is good news and I thought I should get the word out. He says, in his case at least, it only lasts for about an hour. So I stand corrected. Thanks, Tom.

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Teasing with Tenga

I know I have talked about this before, but I feel it bares repeating. Not only that, but there are always new ways of doing things. I am always looking for new and different ways of teasing my husband (and his cock) sexually. Maybe because I find it to be so much fun. Or maybe because I don't want to get bored with doing the same old thing all the time. So here is something I have found that I think works really well.

There are a large number of chastity enthusiasts who enjoy a little humiliation along with their chastity. Just having your subbie/hubbie stand in front of you and masturbate can be a very humbling experience for most men. This is one time I don't recommend a blindfold. He should be able to see you watching him do his own thing.

Masturbation is a very personal, and often private, thing, especially to a man. He might admit that he does it. He might even admit what type of porn he uses to do it. But to have someone actually watch him do it, especially if she is giving him orders, can be quite humiliating and very erotic at the same time.

There is one item that I think really adds to any tease and denial session as well as to any masturbation sessions you might have you man perform for you, and that is the Tenga Egg. For those of you are unfamiliar with this particular product, I have included a video below.

By using one of these eggs on your man's cock, you can give him quite a ride. You can twist it, pull it down and guide it back up until he is ready to shoot his load, then stop. Allow him ample time to rest before continuing. The best part of all, should he ejaculate without your permission, you can continue playing with the egg and it will drive him mad! A little bit of Post Orgasm Torment, if you will. Of course, it is also a great idea to use one if you are trying for a second, or even third, orgasm of the day. He will achieve it much more quickly if you use a Tenga Egg for those second and/or third orgasms.

If you are making him masturbate for you as a humiliation or punishment, a Tenga Egg can be so much more humiliating than just his own hand. He will, of course, have to stop on command. You don't want him pushing himself over the edge, now do you?

Anyway, give humiliating him through masturbation some thought if you haven't already. Then consider finding new and different ways of making him do it for you. If he has to do it too often, or always in the same way, he will become too used to it and it will no longer be humiliating. We don't want that, now do we?

Mistress Ivey

See our entire selection of Tenga Eggs here

Role Play

There is one area of chastity play that I have left out in my blog. That's because most people who get involved in chastity play (or reality) don't often us it, and that's a shame. It's called Role Play.

It is up to the Mistress (or whatever you call yourself) to control all the teasing that goes on with you and your chaste partner. However, coming up with new and exciting ways of doing it can be a daunting task. I mean, you can bind him, remove his chastity device, and tease him in any way you like, but doing the same thing each time can, eventually, become boring. Just as with any other kind of sex, variety is the spice of life. But figuring out new and different ways of teasing a man's cock can be a difficult at best. If you do the same thing (or even several things) too often, then some of the fun and excitement will become routine. And that's no good!

Role play adds a whole new aspect to the world of tease and denial. For example; You could pretend to be a mall cop and you have apprehended a shoplifter (your partner). You can bind him, you can make him undress, you can even remove his chastity device if you like (but it's not necessary). Then you can do anything you like, such as masturbate in front of him, have him do it for you, or even allow him to please you orally if you like. How the story unfolds can be different every time you play. The point is, you have just added a bit of variety to your teasing that will be much appreciated by the both of you.

Another popular scenario is the cop and the fugitive. Suppose you have to interrogate a suspect in an robbery. Perhaps you want to know the location of the loot he stole. You can do anything you like to your prisoner to get the information out of him. In the end, you give him an orgasm (ruined or otherwise) for giving up the information. Or, you could keep him on the edge as long as you like if you are not happy with the information he is giving you.

Another popular role play scenario is Doctor/patient (or nurse/patient) as the case may be. Of course you would play the role of the Doctor or nurse while your chaste partner becomes your patient. Here, again, there are any number of things you can do ranging from a physical exam (very in-depth) to prostate milking, or anything in between.

Without going into a long list of scenes you can use for your role playing, I'll leave it to your own imagination, or you can research it on the net. It's up to you. But by adding role play to your repertoire of teasing methods, you have a million new ways to tease and add excitement to your sexual experience.

Mistress Ivey

P.S. Click here for some Role Play ideas.

Teasing Preemies

Over the past two years I have received many complements and complaints from my readers. Thankfully, the complaints have been few and mainly centered around one issue, premature ejaculation during teasing. The question everyone seems to have is, “how can you tease a guy when he shoots his load at the slightest touch?”

To me, the simplest answer is, use a lighter touch. That is, if your fingers seem to set him off too easily, try angora, a soft brush, or even silk panties. Try anything that will reduce the amount of actual stimulation (friction) and increase the amount of mental stimulation. That is, tease his mind more than his penis.

I know there are men out there who can actually achieve an orgasm without even being touched, but they are few and far between. So unless your partner is one of these, I suggest that you tease him by touching his penis less. Instead, try touching his nipples, his balls, even his bottom or his anus. There are guys who will get extremely excited when you touch their feet. Experiment. Find out what works and what doesn't work with your guy.

Now, it's not all up to you. If your guy is one of those who shoots off too fast, he needs to work on the problem from his perspective as well. He needs to figure out how to hold back, if even just a little. Once he finds a method that will help him hold back a little, he should concentrate on maximizing his abilities in that area. For example, it may be that if he can learn to keep his cock expanded, that is, at its most erect. He may be able to hold off for a few seconds to a minute or more once he has practiced it for awhile.

To understand what I mean, have him try to make his cock as hard as he can. There are certain muscles he needs to utilize to do this. Once he figures out which muscles control it, he can practice exercising those muscles until he can continuously squeeze them for an extended period of time. At least long enough to tell you that you need to back off for a minute so that he can relax.

Some men have told me that if they can manage to keep certain muscles from clinching (tightening) they can hold off an orgasm for quite awhile. However, it is difficult learning which muscles those are and keeping them relaxed during a tease session is something that will take lots of practice.

There is one other way to extend a tease session for a quick-shooter. Allow the first orgasm to happen. Of course, it should be ruined whenever possible, but allowing it to happen will simply get it out of the way and the teasing can then continue. If the orgasm happens to be a full orgasm, then I find you have no other recourse than to engage in a some post orgasmic torment. Grab that cock with one hand and rub the head with the palm of the other for as long as you can. I say as long as you can simply because if your guy is not bound he will stop you. But at this point, that's all you can do. Treat it like a punishment for not warning you in time for you to ruin the orgasm, or prevent it altogether.

The final method I have to offer to those of you with preemies (premature ejaculators), is don't touch his cock until (and if) you intend for him to cum. That is, simply tease his mind. Tell him fantasies, make him watch videos of other women teasing their men, or anything else you can do without actually touching his cock. Don't allow him to touch it either. After all, your goal in teasing him is to keep him hard for as long as you can (or want to) without allowing him any kind of release.

So, in summation, there are ways of handling this problem (or even working around it) in order to accomplish your goal. Stick to it, be inventive, and you will find a way. Please write me and let know what you do to handle your preemie. I could use a few more ideas myself.

Mistress Ivey

How to Control Your Man

I have done my research over the years and have been trying to find a way to sum it all up in a simple form. Well, here it is. If you want to control your husband, lover, male counterpart, submissive, or whatever, here is a guide that should be of some help. It is by no means a complete, in-depth discourse, but should be enough to get you started.

Also, if you, yourself, feel a bit timid, or guilty about doing or saying some of the things your partner wants (or needs) to hear, then you have to remember, you are doing it because you love him and he does it because he loves you. Don't push him harder than he can stand, but always push to find his limits. Once you find them, respect them, but keep on pushing them.

The following is a list of things that you should be doing. Not everything will apply in every case, and there may be things not on the list that work for you. Don't hesitate to leave a comment for all to read, or write me if what you have to say is more personal.

1. You must absolutely take total control of his orgasms!
   1. You must get him to wear a chastity device of some kind.
   2. You should put it on him yourself and only you should hold the key.
   3. Let him out at your discretion only and only for teasing or release.

2. Control your own feelings of guilt.
   1. He should never be permitted to have any kind of orgasm without your permission.
   2. If you feel he deserves an orgasm... Ruin it!
   3. Remember, you can ruin several orgasms a day, but he can only have one full one.
   4. Full orgasms should be for very special occasions (no more than 3 or 4 per year).

3. You must get into his head!
   1. Learn his fantasies and what turns him on.
   2. Tease him with your words whenever possible.
   3. Find out what humiliates him.
   4. Use his humiliation whenever possible.

4. You must keep him sexually aroused as much as possible.
   1. Talk sexy to him.
   2. Tell him you are going to make him do something humiliating.
   3. Fondle him, or let him fondle you.
   4. Send him text messages with orders to do something sexual.
   5. Make him give you orgasms frequently.

5. Make him do something humiliating (see list below).
   1. Make him wear a butt-plug for a time.
   2. Make him be naked when you are not.
   3. Make him masturbate for you.
   4. Always, ALWAYS make him eat his own cum no matter where it is deposited.

6. Punish him whenever he displeases you.
   1. Don't let him get away with anything!
   2. Spank, paddle, or whip him.
   3. Humiliate him in some way.
   4. Put Bengay or Icy-Hot on his cock, balls, or anus.
   5. Make him do anything he hates.

7. No matter what you are doing, or where you are, find ways to tease him.
   1. Fondle him through his pants in public (or in private).
   2. Whisper sexy or humiliating things in his ear.
   3. Make him shop for lingerie with you.

Men are all different. Thus, different things turn them on and different things humiliate them. Here is a list of things that humiliate many men. This list is by no means complete, nor will every man be turned on by everything on the list. It is up to you to discover what works and what doesn't. Sometimes, only the threat of these things is enough to turn him on. Humiliation can be used as a punishment as well. Find out which ones and you can control his behavior through the threat of it.

Humiliations:

1. Name calling (stupid, worthless, etc.)
2. Belittling him or his “equipment” (tiny dick, little willy, etc.)
3. Forced cross-dressing
4. Wearing women's clothing (maids outfit?) anywhere
5. Shopping for lingerie (for you or for him)
6. Wearing a butt-plug in public
7. Masturbating in a public restroom
8. Wearing women's panties or pantyhose under street clothes
9. Masturbating for you or a group
10. Eating his own (or other men's) cum
11. Shave his genitals yourself, then make him keep them clean shaven
12. Sexually servicing several women
13. Telling others about your lifestyle
14. Prostate or other type of milking
15. Being naked around the house
16. Anal penetration (dildo, strap-on, etc.)
17. Sex with an inflatable doll
18. Suck a realistic dildo
19. Being naked outdoors
20. Being photographed (or video recorded)
21. Post photos or videos to the web
22. Forced bi-sexuality (make him suck another's cock)
23. Being cuckolded
24. Drinking your urine
25. Doing just about anything sexual to himself while you or others watch

The thing to remember is that you don't have to make him actually do these things. Just implying that you “might” may be enough of a turn on. It's up to you to discover what works with your man and what doesn't.

Mistress Ivey