Ode to a Hand

Below I have posted an ode, for lack anything better to call it. It was written by my husband at my request. I think other men, in chastity or not, may enjoy this. Please leave a comment if you do.

The Hand

It's just a hand. It happens to be a left hand, though it could, just as easily, be a right hand. There is really nothing particularly special about it. It has four fingers, three knuckles on each, plus a thumb. The fingers, since we are talking about them, are slim and delicate. Not so slim as to be considered oddly so, just slim enough to be considered quite beautiful. I guess you would say it was a nice, delicate, hand. A soft hand.

No, the hand by itself is not particularly different from any other female's hand I have seen. But It's a very erotic hand when it comes to the things it can do to me. Just looking at it causes stirrings deep in my psyche, as well as my groin. It conjures up all sorts of thoughts. Erotic thoughts. Very erotic thoughts, it seems.

I feel goose-bumps traveling from my neck all the way down both arms and my back every time the hand merely touches my ear. I can't describe what happens when it gently reaches inside my shirt and gently brushes across my chest, or rakes across my nipples. And when I feel it softly, gently moving down over my stomach, my eyes flutter closed and my mind can focus on nothing else. My entire body stiffens, imperceptibly. My manhood responds by filling with blood and growing to its full length and girth.

Anytime the hand touches any part of my bare skin, my mind reels with desire. A desire that burns through my body with the heat of a blast furnace. It's not something I can control. I know what the hand is capable of. The pleasure it is capable of giving me, or the pain. There is not a part of my body that the hand can touch and not bring to mind a very special erotic moment in my past.

When the hand touches my most private parts, it's like an electric shock. It can stroke my shaft, rake gently across my tightening testicle sack, or even smack the tender skin of my bottom. All of these actions bring back very fond moments in my life. Those memories excite and stimulate my mind in new and different ways.

The hand stirs up desires from the very depths of my depraved mind. Each time it touches me, in any way, the sexual tension inside me rallies and brings forth my deepest desires. Desires to be touched more, to be stimulated more, to be brought to the edge of sexual ecstasy and held there for hours on end, only to be denied the release my entire body longs for. The release that would put an end to my craving for lust. The end to my desire for sexual attention. Alas, the end of my desire for the touch of that hand.

Thankfully, the hand rarely brings me to that point. Instead, it prolongs the my delicious agony, my desire for more, my need to feel its touch. It leaves me wanting more, longing for more, begging for more. If leaves my mind filled with the memories and desires that drive me to do what must be done in order to convince the owner of the hand to touch me once again.

Yes, the hand is just a hand. It happens to be a left hand, though it could, just as easily, be a right hand. But my mind cannot stop thinking about the endless pleasure the hand is capable of giving me, my body, and my mind.

nemo, slave 7

Again, if you enjoyed this post, let me know.

Mistress Ivey

When NOT to Tease

For obvious reasons, I have spoken a great deal about teasing and denying your partner as a means of keeping him happy and wanting to please you. But I have said little about when NOT to tease your partner. It is, obviously, your best means of exerting your control over him. After all, chastity or not, he really can't tease himself. Not effectively, anyway.

Let's assume (there's that word again) that you tease your partner at every opportunity. That is, you take a moment, here and there, to fondle his manhood, either through his pants, or by reaching into them, as often as you can. You should do it at least several times a day. While you are fondling him, you should be whispering something in his ear that you know will turn him on, such as, “How would like it if I were to give you a full orgasm in a restaurant?” or some other, equally stimulating erotic fantasy?

In addition to the above mentioned little teases, you should spend at least twenty minutes a day doing everything you can to edge him. He should become accustomed to all this teasing in his everyday life so that you can easily control him when he displeases you.

And just how are you supposed to do that? Simply by NOT teasing him in one form or the other. If he suddenly doesn't get his twenty minutes, or his little teases, or both, he should be able to figure out that you are either no longer interested, or that he has displeased you in some way.

See? No other form of punishment may be necessary, for those of you who don't enjoy giving him a good spanking or paddling, now and then. When he isn't doing his best, life gets easier for you. See? No bondage, no BDSM, and no fuss!

Mistress Ivey

Control

I get complaints from guys all the time because they don't think their “Mistress” is doing something right. What that “something” is varies from person to person, but the complaint is basically the same. So here is my response...

Just because your Mistress, Goddess, Princess, or wife, doesn't do everything exactly as YOU think she should, does NOT make her wrong. For example, I received one letter from a man who loved everything his wife/Mistress was doing, the daily teasing, the long term denial, the punishments she gave him, were all perfect except for one minor thing: She would not tell him when his next full orgasm might be. He said it didn't matter to him if she changed the date, pushed it back because of something he did, or if unforeseen circumstances made it necessary to change the date. He just wanted to something to “look forward to” according to him.

Well, my response to him was the same as it would be to most anyone who has a complaint about his Mistress' way of doing things. You are NOT in control. She is! Therefore, she can do whatever she deems necessary or appropriate to keep you in line. To Keep things running smoothly the way SHE wants them to run. So if it is her desire to give you a “possible” date for your next ejaculation, great. Also great if she doesn't choose to do so.

Many of you have your own ideas about how things should be done. If you happen to be the one in charge, then things should get done YOUR way. If you are are the one is being controlled, turn over control totally. Let her do things HER way. It doesn't hurt to ask for something special, or that she do something a different way, but if she refuses, then drop it. Trust that she is doing things the way she wants to do them. Don't try to change things to suit your idea of submission. Instead, submit to her ideas of how things should be done. After all, that is what you asked for, isn't it?

Mistress Ivey

Femdom, Mistress, or Wife?

As a “Mistress” I have dealt with many woman from all walks of life. There have been professional business women, young and old house wives, and even the occasional single woman who just wants to learn how to stop her boyfriend from masturbating all the time. The one thing about being “in charge” is that you can still be yourself.

All too often I am asked what a woman needs to do to be a Mistress, a Femdom, or to maintain control over her loved one. The answer is not nearly as complicated as you might think. Be yourself, but be in charge.

I have always said that you don't have to wear sexy black leather corsets, or carry a riding crop around wherever you go. You don't have to wear knee-high leather boots or yell commands at every turn. You need to create YOUR style of control.

It doesn't matter whether you enjoy sounding like an evil witch, or a sweet princess. What is important is that you let it be known that you will not tolerate disobedience. In other words, you must take control and maintain discipline, but you don't have to dress or act in any certain way. Just be yourself.

If you don't like the idea of using a paddle on your partner's bottom every time he fails to please you, then don't. Maybe you would be more comfortable making him stand in a corner, or closet where you don't have to look at him and where he will not be able to see you.

Do only what you are comfortable doing. If BDSM and bondage are not your thing, fine. You don't have to change yourself for him. In fact, it is he who you should expect to change for you. You are the one in control, but that doesn't have to mean that you are going to beat him silly if he displeases you. Maybe a day without any sexual attention from you will be enough to make your point. Maybe it will take a week of not touching him. But whatever it takes, it is up to you to be in charge.

Maybe you have one of those guys who likes to top from bottom. He has his own ideas about how you should dress and what you should do when he misbehaves. But just because he begged you to take control of his orgasms, his sexual release, and his everyday life, doesn't mean you have to do it HIS way.

Be yourself. Do what is comfortable for you. If you have to sit him down and explain that if he wants you in control, then it is up to him to show you how badly he wants it. It is up to him to obey you like he said he would. Remember, YOU have the power to control him. Simply withholding any kind of sexual attention for a week or so will convince him that you are serious.

Remember, any sexual attention he gets comes from you and you alone. He wants to please you (or he should). Taking away his ability to do that can be a powerful incentive to obey you. Remember, you are in charge! NOT him! So find what works for you and make him conform to your desires and you will be an excellent Mistress.

Mistress Ivey

Games You Play

First of all, I want to wish you all a very happy new year! You, my readers, are very important to me. You have stuck with me through good times and bad. You have contributed more than you know to many of my books. I just want to say, "Thank you!"

I know that many of you, both males and females, enjoy playing games. Sexually oriented games, that is. I have put a few examples in my books, but you, my readers, often have ideas that I have not thought of. So...

Email me your favorite game(s). Send them to: cbt.mstrss@gmail.com

I am looking for everything from making him drop his pants on demand to how you would play a game of strip-checkers, or even how you determine how many strokes he gets when you want him to masturbate for you (or you for her).

Do you go to sleep while holding his cock and expect him to fall asleep too? Without cumming? Do you make him wear your panties to bed, or to work? Does he have to roll boxcars (or snake-eyes) in order earn an orgasm? Whatever little games you play, let me hear about them.

Does your Lady make you take icy cold showers when you get an unauthorized erection? Do you have to do give her a certain number of orgasms before you are allowed to have one? Then write me and tell me all about it.

Yes, I want to hear from both men and women, dominant or submissive. I want to know what kinds of little games you find erotic. Are you a submissive female? Tell me what your Master does to make things fun. Are you dominant to your guy? Tell me what you make him do to earn an orgasm.

I want to hear all about those little sex games you and your partner play. Thanks!

Mistress Ivey

Denial and Prostate Cancer

There seems to be a lot of confusion over whether or not abstinence (orgasm denial) causes prostate cancer in men. The reason for this confusion is due to the fact that there has never been any conclusive data from any medical study on the subject.

Oh, there have been many studies done. Too many to list here, but the problem is simply a lack of empirical data either way. The one thing the entire medical community can agree on, concerning prostate cancer, is that we know more about its treatment than we do about its cause.

One of the main problems with any study of this nature rests with the honesty of its participants. Also, running a “control” group is NOT easy. After all, who is going to tell a bunch of grown men that are not permitted to ejaculate for the next twelve months (or longer) while another group will have to ejaculate several times a week? Who is going to keep the abstinent group honest?

What we do know is that the older you get, the better chance you have of developing prostate cancer. Your race may (or may not) also have an effect on that possibility. Ask any prostate researcher and he/she can tell you more things that don't cause prostate cancer than any that might cause it.

So, if you are worried about putting your guy into long-term chastity, you can always learn to milk his prostate or become very good at ruining his orgasms. Either of these methods would be an effective prostate cancer preventative, if it is, indeed, caused by abstinence.

Mistress Ivey

I am Back

My online experiment didn't work out well, to say the least. So I am back on my blog. I will be writing on various subjects, those that other people write me about. So if you have a question, or an interest in some specific area of your relationship, please comment or write a note at cbt.mstrss(at)gmail(dot) com and I will try to address it here.

To start with, I would like to cover one thing that women often seem to forget, male ejaculation is bad. Well, not totally, but if your hubby, partner, significant other, chastity boi, or what have you, seems a little grumpy, there are several possible reasons. 1) Maybe he needs some sexual attention. Make sure he gets plenty. 2) Maybe work isn't going well and he needs some sexual attention to get his mind off of it. Give it to him. 3) Or, just maybe, you allowed him to have a full orgasm.

As I said in my books, a full male ejaculation can cause many men to suffer a sort of “after effect” in which they display a shortness of temper, or an in general grumpy disposition for several days. To avoid this kind of thing happening to you, be sure you monitor and control his orgasms. Whether you place him in chastity or not, just make sure he isn't masturbating in the shower when you are not looking.

Next week we will cover the big question about prostate cancer.

Mistress Ivey