Implements of Pain & Pleasure

*** Before I get started I just wanted to say that I am feeling better. not quite back to normal, but much better than before. If your Doctor tells you to rest... Do it!

My post:

I have talked about discipline and punishment over the years. Now I want to familiarize you with some of the tools (toys as they are called) used punish or just play with. Bare in mind, these are all items that can be used for both pleasure as well as inflicting pain. It all depends on what you use and how you use it.

There are many items designed to be used more for play (pleasure) that won't cause much pain, if any. This is generally because of the materials used in their manufacture. Other items are designed to inflict more pain. These can be used very effectively for punishment, but may also be used to create pleasure, depending on how they are used. For example, any flogger can be used to create pleasure simply by dragging it across the skin without hitting. You can also giggle the handle so that the ends of the tails 'dance' over the skin creating a very pleasurable sensation.

DON'T Iggnore Him!

I have learned a few things about being a “Good Mistress” since my illness took hold of me. It seems that there things you can do even when you are “under the weather” (so to speak) as I have been for many months now. With little to do and not being able to get out much, I have been re-reading some of my own books. Don't you just hate it when you were right, but then didn't heed your own advice!?

It doesn't take much energy to tease your partner. I'm not talking about spending an hour with him tied to bed, but rather, only a few minutes here and there. If release from chastity (or lack there of) seems to be a problem, It takes no energy at all to lock the bedroom door and have him masturbate while you give him directions (or tease him about his technique). In fact, since we have a nice clear shower door, I can even sit just outside it and direct him while he is showering. Talking to him takes so little energy I think I could do it my sleep. Oops! I think I have done that...

Apologies

I must apologize for not having posted the last two weeks. I thought I was covered but I wasn't. I have been ill (still am) but that's not an excuse.

This weeks topic,,, How to take care of your sick Dominant wife. The first thing you must remember is that, just because she is under the weather, doesn't mean you can slack off. After all, you wouldn't want her to slack off if you were ill, now would you?

At one time, you decided that serving her was what you wanted. There is no better time to do that than when she is ill. In fact, it's the best time to put everything you've got into your service to her. Believe me, it will NOT go unnoticed. Try to make her as comfortable as you can. Don't ask a lot questions (“can I get you anything” is not one of them). Don't expect her to tell you what to do all the time. Odds are, you know what to do. This is the time to do it without making her tell you.

Valentine's Day

I know, it's just a day created by the greeting card companies to sell cards, flowers and candy. But, hey, I'm a woman. So I have been doing some looking around for a few items to give my hubby. He had better be doing the same!

I don't send cards (I live with my Valentine). Why would I send him a card? But...That doesn't mean I can't buy him gifts. AND... It doesn't mean he won't have to buy me a few things, either. In fact, I have plans that include taking him shopping with me. After all, why should I settle for what he “thinks” I want when I can show him and stand right there while he buys it?

Gentlemen, and I know most of my readers are gentlemen, if you have been wanting to show your wife, girlfriend, or significant other, the benefits of taking control. So this is your big chance to do just that! Give her a day she will never forget. Pamper her from the moment she wakes up. How about breakfast in bed? You could follow that up with a full body massage including a nice long foot rub. She will love it. Spend the rest of your day showing her just how nice it would be to have a guy willing to do everything for her. Let her spend the day sitting in a chair, relaxing, watching TV, while you massage those lovely feet of hers… Again! If she is hungry, make her something to eat. If she is thirsty, fill her glass. Never mind the kids, this is Valentine’s Day. You have a reason to act like her slave. She deserves it!

Who knows? Maybe you can carry it over into the rest of the week. Before long, she won’t be able to live without knowing that you will be there to do all those little things she hates doing herself. Don’t blow it, guys. This is day comes but once a year. Make the most of it! And… Good luck!

Mistress Ivey

Attitude!

Okay, so you are still having trouble talking to your partner in bed (or wherever you are doing sexual things). The fact is, this is the one person with whom you should be able to talk. Heck, you talk about everything else. You even talked about doing this kind of sexual stuff with him. So what’s the problem?

The problem is, you are afraid of being judged, of failing to perform up to HIS expectations. Now isn’t it? Be honest with yourself. Ask yourself these questions: Do you want to make him happy? Do you want to enjoy having sex with your partner? Of course you do. But that’s exactly why you are having so much trouble. You put too much pressure on yourself. I am sure that you can get passed this, if you will just relax and forget about trying to please HIM. Instead, please yourself!

Talking During Sex (Pt-2)

So you want to learn how to talk during sex, huh? Well, it all begins with knowing your partner’s fantasies. Last time, I talked about the feelings of vulnerability and humiliation. I told you that you needed to talk about things that would either terrify or humiliate your partner in order to turn him on. But how do you know what those things are?

You have to do your homework! You have to learn to listen and to use what you learn against him. I can tell you things to say until I am blue in the face, and they may or may not work for you. But if you do your own research, find out what REALLY turns your partner on, you won’t need me to tell you anything. You will know what to do and what to say.

Talking During Sex (Pt-1)

Why is it that we women have such difficulty talking sexually to our husbands during sex? I know that many women have this problem. I saw a survey (somewhere) that where almost eighty percent of the respondents said they had trouble talking “dirty” to their spouses. I had this problem when I first got with my husband. I don’t know why I was afraid to talk dirty to him, but I was.

Back when I was his slave, and he did most of the “action” during sex (I was usually the one tied down and sometimes gagged) he did all the talking. He would tell me things of a sexual nature without batting an eye. He would hold up a knife, look me in the eye, and say something like, “We are just going to draw a little blood.” No, he never actually did draw blood, but he planted the idea of it in my head so clearly, that after he placed a blindfold over my eyes, and I felt the cold steel touch my skin, I was positive he had cut me. As I said, he never did actually cut me, but the thought of being totally at his mercy, knowing that he could cut me anywhere he wanted, thrilled me.