Approaching Your Wife

This is probably the hardest question I ever get from men who want to turn their relationship into a Female Led Relationship (FLR). Why? Because every woman is different. There is no simple answer to that question. So here is my recommendation...

The first thing you must do is to make your desires known. If you can't sit down with her and tell her that you want her to be in charge of your life, sex life, or just try some tease and denial, then you will never get what you want from her. It's that simple.

You should know that even if she jumps at the chance to become your Mistress, to take complete control of you and all you do, she will NOT do exactly what you dreamed she would do. She is her own woman. She will have to learn how be dominant, at least toward you. You cannot tell her how to do anything! The more you do that, the less chance you have of being successful.

The Basic Ingredient for All Female Led Relationships

(Reprinted from ConquerHim.com)

People may argue about whether or not a Female Led Relationship needs to use chastity control to work well. They may also debate about whether or not the man is inferior to the woman in the relationship. Of all the debates and options all couples may encounter while structuring their Female Led Relationship there is one common ingredient that must be the foundation for any and all Female Led Relationship: honoring a woman’s choices.
Whether a couple participates in a FLR by choice or by nature, the one thing that is common is the man’s decision to honor the woman’s choices.
If you are in a FLR and you are wondering whether you are ‘doing it right’, you should understand that when you honor the choices of the woman you are with, then you are doing it right.

• When she asks to be treated a certain way, as a man you should honor that.
• When she says she wants chicken for dinner, as a man you should honor that.
• When she wants to be left alone, as a man you should honor that.
• When she says she is ready to try a new career, as a man you should honor and support that.
• If she tells you she is not interested in an idea that you present to her, as a man you should honor that.
• If she wants to try a new idea during your intimate moments, as a man you should honor that.
• If she wants you to make some of the decisions on your own, as a man you should honor that.
• If she wants to cuddle and be comforted, as a man you should honor that.
  

You do not need whips, chains, foot worship, spankings, sexual control or forced domination to classify your relationship as a FLR. The aforementioned options are fetishes and kinks and may be used to motivate the submissive man but, if a man truly wants to participate in a FLR, he will not need any of those things because his desire to please the woman he loves comes from his heart.
If a man is trying to convince you that you can not have a FLR without dominating him forcefully, placing him in chastity or making him kiss your feet he is either misinformed or he is being manipulative.
All he needs to do is place honoring the woman’s preferences and choices as the number one priority and you have successfully created a FLR.

By Queenie
ConquerHim.com

FemDom-v-FLR

Please, do not confuse a Female Led Relationship with a FemDom relationship. These are actually two different things. Although, they may have a some aspects that cross-over, or are similar in nature, they are very different animals.

A typical FemDom relationship is more about the sexual aspects where the female totally dominates the male in and by sexual means. There may be may, or may not, be any actual love between the two partners. Usually, the male is treated as if he has no rights at all, or that what he wants, likes, dislikes, don't matter at all. In fact, he may be in it for the mistreatment and not for the love.

Do I Have To?

You may ask yourself, do I have to spank my guy or tie him up to have sex with him? The answer is a resounding, “NO!” You don't have to do anything. However, if you don't do anything, how will he know you are in charge?

Simply put, being in charge means that you make the decisions. You know what you want, and you are not afraid to say it. Whether we are talking about buying a new car or choosing a movie to watch, you know what you like. Maybe it isn't his favorite color, or he hates this actor or that subject, but who cares? The decision is yours to make. If you want to ask for his opinion, there is nothing wrong with that, as long you realize that you are not obligated to do so, nor are you obligated to go with his desires.

Do you have to engage in tease and denial? Do you have to include corporal punishment? Do you have to ask him when he wants to have sex? Or if he wants to be on top? The answer to all these questions is, again, “NO!”

FLR Training Classes

I am proud to announce that, beginning in September, 2015, I will be teaming up with “Queenie” over at ConquerHim.com to help train women who want to setup or improve their Female Led Relationship. In the beginning, I will be monitoring her FLR Training Class as a student, as well as being a Guest Speaker for one of the classes. If you have been struggling with an FLR of your own, or you want to start one up with your husband, why don't you join me? It will be fun.

I am very excited about this opportunity to help Queenie teach other women how to become more dominant and to take charge of their Female Led Relationship.

Students will learn:

• How to harness your feminine power
• How to create protocols in your Female Led Relationship
• How to correct rebellious submissive men
• How to design your role in your Female Led Relationship
• What power exchange means in a Female Led Relationship
• How to understand your dominance style
• How to become more confident as a dominant woman
• How to stop being so nice all of the time
• How to use your sexuality to motivate men

Finally! There is a training program that is not only for women, but that can really help you to make the most of your relationship. I would encourage all women whose husbands have been pushing them to become their Mistress or Goddess, to take this course. You will meet other women who have done it and some who, just like you, are learning to how.

All it takes is the courage to make the decision to invest in your future. If you want a better relationship, and you or your partner want you to be in charge, then you owe it to yourself to get the help you need to do it right. Sign up today!

Mistress Ivey

To Be Mean or Not To Be Mean?

That is the question when it comes to a typical FLR (Female Led Relationship). But there is another question involved here, and that is: What do you mean by “Be Mean?”

There are two completely different meanings to the the term “Be Mean.” The first, and most obvious, is to act like a “Bitch” toward your partner. You know, paddle him a lot just because you can, and order him around as if he doesn't really matter in the great scheme of things. And there is the other meaning... To do things to him that he will enjoy (for one reason or another), but that only “seem” to be mean.

Another Great Site

I had a very interesting discussion recently with a group of women. It was led by a woman who runs a Female Led Relationship Training program for women who want to create loving, Female Led Relationships but are having a hard time figuring out how to make things work. Her name is “Queenie” and she runs a website called ConquerHim, (http://conquerhim.com/)

She invited me to be a guest speaker during her most recent FLR Training Class and I spoke via web conference call with the students. We spent a little over an hour discussing many aspects of Female Led relationships. I answered as many questions as I could, in the time allotted, and I thoroughly enjoyed it. You can read about the discussion on Conquer Him at http://conquerhim.com/flr-training-for-women-beginning-week-4/.

If you are interested in learning more about structuring your FLR and refining your dominance, I highly recommend looking into taking Queenie's training course Becoming a Goddess in a Female Led Relationship. (http://conquerhim.com/female-led-relationship-training/)

Becoming a Goddess is a group training program where you will enjoy interacting with other women from around the world who want to develop their dominance and gain understanding about the dynamics behind creating loving, Female Led Relationships.

The training program is for women only and it lasts four weeks. It includes weekly LIVE discussions such as the one I participated in recently. Access to an online FLR Academy and a private Facebook group for daily discussions and support.

Becoming A Goddess does not tell you how to design your Female Led Relationship, but it does educate you on the many options for creating your ideal relationship and offers the support you need to make the best choices for yourself.

Mistress Ivey