Anything???

“As long as I keep you from having an orgasm, you'll agree to do anything I want?” The answer to that question when asked of a man on the edge of orgasm is invariably, “Yes.”

Don't believe me? Try it sometime! Of course, once he has had an orgasm his entire attitude will, most likely, change. That is, unless it is something he doesn't mind doing in the first place. For example, many men are willing to drink their own cum, so asking him to that might not change with an orgasm. But what about sucking another man's cock? Not many will do that without the proper incentive. In fact, I have found that most women who actually want their partner (slave, subbie, boy toy, or what have you) to do something often ask this question in the wrong way.

What do I mean by that? Here's an example of asking the wrong question (or asking in the wrong way); “Will you suck another man's cock if I let you cum?” Do you see how that puts his reward before he has completed his part of the bargain? Instead, try asking the question this way; “I will let you cum if you first suck another man's cock.” Or, “You can have an orgasm as soon as you have sucked another man's cock.” See the difference? If you really want your victim to perform something he would not ordinarily do (perhaps something humiliating) promise him a reward only after he has completed the task.

I know that many woman have difficulty learning to talk erotically to their partners during sex. Because of this, they tend to be timid when it comes to psychological torment. You may never want your partner to suck another man's cock (just for example) but making him think that you will can be very sexually arousing to him. Obviously, if you are only attacking his psyche with your play, you would want to ask the question differently. Instead of making him perform the task before his reward, you simply want him to agree to complete that task. That is, you want him to say that he will suck another man's cock (or drink his own cum, or dress like a woman, or whatever the task is) before receiving his reward.

Ladies, please understand the difference. Every man who enjoys being sexually teased (and they all do) has fantasies of things he would love to be “forced” to do. He also has a list of things that he likes to fantasize about being forced to do but would never really do under any circumstances. Your job, as his tormentor, is to learn what these things are and which are which. Then, and only then, can you really keep your partner on his toes and torment his mind as well as his body properly.

In answer to all the questions I've received on the subject... Yes you can make your guy agree to anything as long as you keep him from having that orgasm.

Mistress Ivey

Intro To Cuckolding

I have written very little on the subject of cuckolding because it is such a dangerous thing. It can, as I have said before, ruin a relationship. The main culprit is jealousy!

However, I did a little experimenting with my slave,nemo, recently and I have come up with a method of training your slave to accept being cuckolded. I am not going to tell you all about it here. Instead, I direct you to nemo's blog where he will tell you the story from his point of view. Just be aware, it took me six months to complete the training and get nemo to the point where I can now bring in any man I want and make nemo watch, or even participate, in our sexual activities.

I don't recommend cuckolding for every couple. In fact, please understand that I discourage it for most people. However, having said that, there are men (and women) who have strong fantasies about doing such things. So, with that in mind, I devised this little training program.

If you are interested, please click over to nemo's blog and read his post entitled, 'CuckoldTraining'.

http://teasedenialandcbt.blogspot.com/2012/04/cuckold-training.html

Mistress Ivey

Teaching Through Teasing

Over the last year and half I have described many games you can play to make your tease and denial relationship even better. Well, I have another game you can play, especially if you are feeling particularly wicked! The object of this game is to teach your guy to NEVER ask for an orgasm.

Before you begin this game you should have a goal in mind for your denied partner. A chastity device of some kind would be a big help in this game. Let's say, for argument sake, the longest your guy has gone without an orgasm is one month. Don't tell your partner anything about this game you are going to play. That's a secret. Your goal should be to make him wait longer for that orgasm than he has ever waited before and to learn not to ask for an orgasm, no matter what his options are.

Once you have a goal in mind, you are ready to begin. Go ahead and tease his cock using whatever method you like. Shortly before he is ready to cum, ask your partner to choose between two or three options. One option should be to give you pleasure (in his favorite way), or have an orgasm. Now that would seem like a rhetorical question, but he may surprise you. If he says he wants the orgasm, you decide if he deserves it or not. If you are trying to teach him not to ask for an orgasm, he has failed.

If he has not reached the goal you set for him, then then he gets no orgasm and will have to please you in your favorite way. If he chooses the 'please you' option, then don't let him cum before you stop and give him his reward for making a good choice.

If he chooses the orgasm and he has reached his goal, give him a ruined orgasm and tell him that you want him to wait a little longer. Then he can please you in whatever way you want. Another option is to punish him for asking for the orgasm and deny it anyway.

The point of this game is to teach him not to ask for any orgasms. After all, he should know that his purpose is to please you, not himself. Of course, there are many ways of teaching him this lesson without telling him what's going on. For example, if you think he deserves an orgasm, but has not learned his lesson, make him masturbate for you and ruin his own orgasm.

If you think about it, I am sure you can come up with many diabolical ways to deny him the full orgasm he really wants. Just remember the rules of the game. They are simple; Don't tell him what you are doing; Don't allow him a full orgasm until he has learned NOT to ask for them, even when given the option.

You can always make the options more difficult. Try offering him a paddling, or no teasing for a week, or even wearing women's under garments to work for a week. Anything other than an orgasm as the second option. Once he has learned his lesson (never to ask for an orgasm) you could offer him anything and he will not take the orgasm option.

It should also be obvious that you can teach your partner anything you want him to learn through denial. Just make sure he never gets that orgasm until he learns his lesson.

Mistress Ivey

In The Beginning

I get so many letters from women asking me how to get started when their husband (or lover) has asked for some teasing and denial. Many men have fantasies about this, and many are simply afraid to bring up the subject. However, once a man has asked his wife (or GF) to take charge of this, it can be difficult for a woman with little or no experience. So here is what I did when it happened to me.

The first thing I did was to create a plan. I wanted to do it right, and I figured that in order to do it right I needed a plan. Please bare in mind that this plan will not be right for everyone. But, hopefully, it will give you a place to start.

The plan has three basic parts and required me to do some research before actually implementing it. But before I began I had to decide if I wanted to use a chastity device or not. So I did some research involving chastity devices and how effective they were. I talked with nemo about it to get his feelings on the subject. Once I decided that I wanted to use a device, I had to choose one. I eventually selected a CB-3000 (the old version) because it was fairly inexpensive and it give us both a feeling of where we wanted to go from there.

Once the chastity device arrived in the mail, I put my plan into motion.

Part One: Denial

I informed nemo that I was going to take complete charge of him and his ejaculations. He had just stepped out of the shower when I made my announcement. That means, I caught him while he was still naked and would feel the power I was wielding even more. After installing the CB-3k,  I told him that from that moment on he would only be allowed to cum when I gave my permission. I had decided to start with a week and then take it day by day after that. I had no idea how long he would actually be denied this first time, but I did plan on making sure he knew who was in charge.

While I had him standing naked in front of me, I laid out my rules for him. I gave him a list of chores that I expected him to do each week and some that needed to be done daily. I warned him that if he failed to complete any of his chores, he would be punished in some way. I told him the punishments would increase in severity the more often he failed.

I told him that if he was good, he would be rewarded with the opportunity to pleasure me and to receive some teasing for himself. Sometimes I would even remove his chastity device before or during these tease sessions.

Part Two: The Teasing

My research had given me many ideas for teasing a man. So I decided that I would need to tease him briefly several times a day. He had a job at the time, so I would call him at various times while he was at work and turn him on. I needed to know what turned him on the most in order to guarantee my success. That meant I needed to know what his deepest, darkest sexual fantasies were.

In order to find out what he fantasized about,I decided that I would make him tell his fantasies when I had him on the edge of cumming. So each time I removed his CB-3k, in order to tease his cock directly, I would get him on the edge of cumming and then stop. I would tell him that if he wanted more he would have to tell me one of his favorite sexual fantasies. Then while he talked, I would tease his cock, never allowing him to cum. Eventually, I knew enough of his fantasies to get him hard on the phone rather easily.

I also used my knowledge to turn him on when we were together as well. I would reach into his pants when he least expected it and whisper a part of one his fantasies in his ear. I would have him hard in no time, then I would just walk away, leaving him wanting more. If I did this often enough, I thought, he would not be able to think about much else other than me and how I might allow him to cum during our next session.

I also researched several ways of teasing him while his CB-3k was off without allowing him to cum. I also learned about ruined orgasms, but that's a subject for another post except to say that if I thought he was getting too close to cumming, I could always stop. Even if I stopped too late, his orgasm would be ruined and not give him the relief he longed for.

Part Three: Punishment

While you might think that denying nemo an orgasm for an extended period of time would be punishment enough, but it's not. Remember, your partner actually enjoys being denied (that's what he asked you for), so what kind of punishment is that? So I had to find some ways to punish him that would seem much more like a punishment than simply denying him an orgasm. Adding days to his denial wouldn't work, either. As I no idea exactly how long I intended to make him wait, it was impossible to add days to an unknown number of days.

Since I intended to remove his CB-3k three or four times a week, it became obvious that I could skip one of those sessions as long as he knew why he was not getting it. I could also not tease him during the day for one or two days. But what could I do when he continued to fail or didn't seem remorseful? I had to come up with something more... Impressive.

After the first couple of weeks I decided to add “points of intrigue” (little spikes that came with the device) to his CB-3k. These would cause him pain whenever his cock tried to get hard while in the CB. If he was good, I would remove them. But if he wasn't, I could leave them in and tease him as often as I liked. In addition to that, I came up with a few more immediate punishments if I needed them. Without going into detail, I'll just tell you that several forms of corporal punishment were used quite effectively.

In summation, I know that this was a pretty vague plan, but it is so easily modified for any situation, I think it works very well. If you have a good imagination, or you can do your own research, then you should be able to make this basic plan work for you.

Good luck and happy teasing!

Mistress Ivey

Not In Your Butt!

Ladies and gentlemen, it has come to my attention that many of you enjoy (or would like to enjoy) anal sex of some sort. That is, the realm of male chastity (not to mention tease and denial) often includes some sort of anal play. While in and of itself, anal play is not a bad thing, you need to be careful what you put in your guy's ass.

Let's face it, it can be very tempting to use ordinary household items. Some may seem like a good idea at the time, but rest assured, most can have negative results. I know, if you happen to be into humiliation, there is nothing quite as humiliating as a trip to the emergency room to remove that jar of peanut butter you shoved into your guy's ass and just can't seem to retrieve, now.

Watch this video and you will see what I mean.

Now that you have an idea of what NOT to put into your butt, let me give you some suggestions as to what you CAN put there. My store carries a full line of Tantus^(R) products designed for use by both male and female users. If you want to put something in your butt, I highly recommend you try one these products instead of what you find around the house.

Tantus products are all designed to be of the highest quality. That means that they will be comfortable (or as comfortable as an anal device can be), and will last you a good long time. In fact, I have used many of the Tantus products and I believe that, even though you might be able to purchase a similar product for less, you can't match the quality. And let's face it, quality counts. Especially when you are going to insert it into your (or your partner's) body.

We also carry a full line of lubricants. You are going to need one! The rule of thumb for using lubricants for any anal activity is: When you think you have enough, double it! That basically means that you can't have too much lubrication when it comes to anal sex.

Have fun, and be safe. Don't end up at the ER!

Mistress Ivey

P.S. If you start out with the Cowboy, don't try to push it ALL THE WAY IN the first time!

Safe Sex Tease?

Okay, maybe using a condom during teasing is not what people are referring to when they talk about safe sex. But... Have you ever tried teasing his cock with a condom on it? Maybe you should.

Condoms come in all types (lubricated, ribbed and even flavored) and styles. If you plan to use them for teasing you don't want any of that nasty-tasting spermicide on them. Trust me, it is nasty-tasting! If your guy has a tendency to spurt before you are ready, a condom might be just the thing. After all, regardless of what the manufacturers may tell you, they do reduce sensitivity. Of course, the more you apply, the less sensitive he will be.

Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that you want to put ten or twelve condoms on your guy and eliminate him feeling anything. Far from it. I am only suggesting that there are many reasons you might want to use a condom while teasing him. Let me explain, aside from the fact that it can delay his orgasm (which is a good reason to use one), a condom can be used to eliminate having to clean up every time you ruin an orgasm. Especially if you intend to continue and ruin a few more.

Condoms work very well for prostate milking, too. After all, just how easy is it to catch all that cum in a little cup? And just think, when you are done, he can drink it right from the condom. It's a bit more humiliating that way, but hey, why not? After all, many men love to be humiliated.

Have you ever given a guy blow-job while he was wearing a condom? It's little different, but it works. It just takes longer, that's all. But then, if you are teasing him (and that IS what we are talking about here, isn't it?) you want it last a good long time without fear of an “accident.” Condoms are good for a great number of things. Use them to cover any toy that you are going to insert (no mater where you are going to insert it). It's cleaner and safer that way. Besides, cleanup is a breeze!

Here's a little video to demonstrate what I mean. Sorry the quality isn't that good, but videos like this are very hard to find.

I am sure you can think of ways to use a condom that I have not mentioned here. If so, drop me a line or post a comment and tell me about it.

Mistress Ivey

Finger Touch Tease

The video below is my first attempt at embedding a video into my blog. This particular video demonstrates how to perform a one (or two) finger tease. As tease and denial videos go, the are actually very few that don't end in an orgasm. Be that as it may, many do show ruined orgasms and are, therfore, applicable to this blog.

In the video below, I want you to pay particular attention to two things: 1) Watch how the woman uses one or two fingers to tease her victim's penis. It's very good example how to touch certain sensitive spots that will give you the reactions you want, and; 2) Notice how the victim's penis reacts when this woman touches those sensitive spots. His reactions are, for the most part, uncontrollable. They are simply natural reactions that he has no control over. 

All in all, this video is an excellent example of how little you need to do to get your man to the point of no return. What you do then is up to you. If you want to keep your guy on edge, just give his cock a few seconds to rest every now and then. You can see how this works if you pay close attention to the video. If you want to ruin his orgasm (perhaps several in a row), simply stop when you think he is about to ejaculate. If you stop too soon, no harm done. he simply won't ejaculate. If you stop too late, he still might not have a full orgasm because you did stop. This is an excellent method for learning exactly when to stop whether you are trying to edge him or ruin his orgasms.

I hope this video will make your tease and denial sessions more successful.

Mistress Ivey