Judging by the email I receive on a
regular basis, I assume that most of my readers are male. Just to be
sure, I am asking you (whoever you are) to Please leave a comment
concerning the variety in your sex life. Is it enough? Do you need
more? Your participation is much appreciated.
My point is, I feel like I am preaching
to the choir. However, this applies equally to both men and women
even if they are not in a Female Led relationship (FLR). My subject
for today is, Variety! After all, variety is the spice of life...
Let's assume that you can choose
anything you like for dinner, but whatever you choose will be what
you get everyday for the rest of your life. Just how long do you
think it would take for you to get tired of eating the same old thing
day after day? If you are like most people, it wouldn't take very
long.
So why do you think your guy (husband,
subbie, chastity boy, or whatever you call him) wants the same old
thing sexually everyday? No matter what you are doing to tease him,
no matter how much you make him please you, if you are not varying it
often, then you are risking him getting bored with it (yourself
included).
It doesn't matter what we are talking
about, the fantasies you tell him, the sexual activity you make him
preform for (or on) you, how you tease him, what you feed him, or
even the praise you give him, if you are not including variety in all
you do, then you are risking everything you have worked for going
right down the drain.
By now, you have learned that the care
and feeding of your partner is a great deal of work. I am the first
to admit that it can be difficult. But you must include as much
variety as you can in your daily routines. But if your marriage has
improved since you started tease and denial with your partner, you
don't want to lose what you have gained.
I could write list upon list of ways to
vary your everyday activities, but I am going to leave it up to you
to do the research. After all, who knows your partner better than
you do? So here's what you need to do...
Take the time to research your
partner's fantasies. Search the web for stories that he (or you) will
like. Think about how you can change up those daily teases and even
come up with new ways of denying his orgasm. Practice a little
variety in those little teases you do several times a day to keep him
interested, aroused, and thinking of you.
Make a list of everything you can
remember doing. Make separate lists for daily teasing, fantasies,
your own pleasure, and those special events you have done. Then try
to add a few new things to each list. Now keep those lists handy and
refer to them often. Don't repeat any one thing too often. Add to
those lists any time you think of something new to try.
If you mix everything up enough, you
may be surprised at the over all results. All this may very well
renew your own pleasure and desire to engage in sexual activity and
the fun you have teasing his cock. Variety truly is the spice of
life, especially when it comes to your sex life!
Mistress Ivey
Hi Mistress Ivey, As asked by you, here is my comment... my wife and i have been married for 19 years. i have always had a kinky side with most of the fetishes that you discuss in your posts... my wife is less kinky but works hard to please my other side. She likes to be cuddled, caressed, made love to softly, gently and passionately. I am always willing to do anything she asks, sexually. i also do my share of things around the house.i have a job/business, take care of manual chores and am involved with raising our children. When it comes to pleasing me (me being the sub) she does it, but i get the feeling that she can't wait for it to be over, i feel that it is a chore for her. after she has had her orgasm,(i always insist that she has her orgasm) she insists that i have one as quick as possible. even though i would be willing to help her achieve more orgasms. i have tried opening up at the beginning of our relationship.(She found some nylons hanging around, yeah i'm a cross dresser. i thought that this would be a good time to open up. after her initial response, i felt like a freak. How could something that made me feel so good, make me feel so bad. We work it out by me having my secret side. So the way i get to enjoy my secret side is through fantasies. I fantasize that she knows all about my fetishes while i act them out. i have been wearing a cage for the last month and i fantasize that she locks it up in the morning and unlocks it at night. She teases me about the panties and hose that i wear(in my fantasies) i could go on....maybe i'll send you a story that you can publish. summing up, after i read your first two books, maybe i'll ask her to read them :) thanks for your blog. jbo
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